Steffi

WHY BE ANTI-NSTINK?

Which reason should I give you? First and foremost, these talentless pricks cannot carry a tune! Their idea of singing is the out of tune whining that is only successful in brainwashing 5 year-old girls. Chris’s pathetic attempts at falsetto make my Opera impressions seem like Grammy material. Although Justin’s voice can be tolerated once in a blue moon, most of the time his notes are gut-wrenchingly excruciating to bear. Even the best crooner of the group JCine, is guilty of whining. The remaining 2 members, Joey and Lance, are almost nonexistent in the group since I have never heard them sing a note on their own.

Secondly, they are under the false impression that they can dance. Their definition of dancing is known as the "bob your head from side to side and look pretty." When this is not enough to please a crowd, they add a few back flips and cartwheels. Or the line dance with karate kicks should do the trick. Girls, girls, girls, have you learned nothing from NKOTB? You are supposed to be singers, not gymnasts! [A/N: the idea of wearing spandex probably turns you on, but please spare us]

Singing and dancing aside, the NStink attitude also makes them horrendously unappealing. Every move they make seems to be consciously geared at garnering respect, but they end up looking like fools. The bottom line? NStink would not be nearly as popular if the BSB did not come out first. NStink rode in on coattails, and they know it. Afterwards, they pretend that they are the originators. But as far as I am concerned, people with an IQ of less than 10 are incapable of coming up with ideas.

Lastly, the entire group is physically repulsive. Although teenyboppers describe the pubic hair on Justin’s head is sexy, I find the light bulb on my ceiling more appealing. The other life forms that comprise NStink are no different. Joseph comes from a rare species of horny toads. Chris is a breed of dog. JC, with the tartar buildup along his gumline, is probably a decedent of the buck tooth beaver. The only half decent looking person in the group is Lance. He looks somewhat human, although girlish. But a girl is a human.

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Steffi