Steffi

GAGGING ON MILK

“Milk, it does a body good.”
“Where’s your moustache?”
“Got Milk?”

Most of the general populace has heard of these wildly successful coin phrases for milk advertising. Like Coke’s slogans, they are simplistic in nature, but they still convey their message clearly-humans need to drink milk to be healthy. Of course, this is not the only way milk gets publicity. From the Backstreet Boys and Sara Michelle Gellar to Joshua Jackson and Tyra Banks-celebrities have been photographed with the infamous milk moustache, making young teenagers aware that milk “does a body good.” But there is soon to be another celebrity to don a milk moustache. And although the Milk campaign might not realize it now, this certain "Louisiana skank” might actually turn the milk campaign sour…

To my complete astonishment, this month's YUM (YM) magazine featured Bitchney Queers in a milk advertisement! Are the managers and organizers of the milk campaign going insane, or were they bribed by Britney’s body to cast her the part (like the head of Jive...)? Probably the latter reason because I always thought you had to actually drink milk before you were cast in the advertisements! And if the campaigners are trying to tell me that Bitchney Queers drinks milk, that is the equivalent of telling me Bitchney Queers is a virgin! She probably does drink liquid that is white, but it is probably liquid crack in disguise.

For those of you fortunate enough not to have seen it yet, it basically looks like the Rolling Stone cover, part deux or future Playboy cover. Again, she is holding a phone or something, sitting in a chair, trying to flaunt her silicone excuses for boobs. But what is the use of covering up this time? She has nothing to hide, America has already seen her ugly side in Rolling Stone and the "Kid's Choice Awards." What was she thinking? Is she ever thinking?

As well, does she have to mention "Baby One More Time?" every two seconds? The song has definitely lost its luster because of over-commercialization and hype. “When I finish a glass of milk, you can fill it up baby, three more times.” When I meet you someday, you can kiss my ass, baby infinity times.

Rumors have it that NStink will be doing one too. I have just lost most of my respect for those advertisements. They used to use talented people like the BSB, Jen Love Hewitt, Joshua Jackson, Sarah Michelle Gellar and Pete Sampras on them…

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Steffi