Steffi

"HIT ME BABY" BLOW UP DOLL

Once upon a time, a company named “Rainbow Fun” was unable to think of the next ingenious idea for a toy product. As the ideas were churning in the diminutive brains of every employee, a song over the radio caught their attention. “HhITt MeE BaBBy OoNnnEE MmooRRRee TiimmEE…” Suddenly, all the employees realized an obvious opportunity that had been right under their noses the whole time. Why not they cash in on the kiddy porn business? And so, the Bitchney Queers doll was brought to life…

As if infecting our ears through the radio waves, and eyes through the television screen was not enough! The Southern Louisiana skank will soon be invading households, hiding under the Christmas tree and bed sheets of little boys, ready to lay siege on unsuspecting, innocent citizens. The doll might seem like the normal, average barbie doll. But strip away the 10 pounds of make-up, the belly button showing tube top, the silicone implants and the fake hair extensions and you have…an evil disease waiting to be implanted in the impressionable minds of young children everywhere! This disease affects the brain severely, making children think they can run around wearing nothing, make it big in the music industry without any talent, and sleep with the head of a major label to get signed. How do we stop this epidemic? It is simpler than you think! Just say no! Say no Bitchney Queers resembling barbie dolls! Say no to Louisiana skanks! Say no to silicone implants and fake hair extensions. With everybody’s help, we can rid the world of this poison...

Now that I have your attention, I must describe this doll so you all know how to avoid it. I saw it on the Hit List, a Canadian video countdown show, and it is the ugliest looking doll I have ever seen. It is like an xxx toy for little boys. Comes complete with tissue paper, bra pads, silicone implants to stuff in her bra. And, three hoe bag outfits to chose from! Screams "hit me baby" every second and makes annoying mating grunts. Plus, you can comb her hair (extensions), undress her everywhere…

Bitchney might not have enough brain cells to realize this, but her managers should-she is basically preparing her own demise by over-saturating the market with her merchandise! According to some newspaper articles, there are more Bitchney goodies are on the way! No wonder why suicide is on the rise in America! When there is a little kiddie porn star on every tube of lipstick, every tank-top, every bed-sheet and every condom box in America...and people are wondering what is happening to morals in the world. They went down the drain with Bitchney's chest tissue (graphic, sorry for those of you who were eating…).

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Steffi