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Steffi

WESTSIDE STORY

Justin Timberass and Bitchney Queers! The two could be twins. Both are talentless rejects from the music industry! Both cannot dance, act, (insert verb here...). As a result, both went through periods of time when they could not find love. But they soon turned to each other in their time of loneliness…

How did the soap opera romance between Timberass and Queers begin? Strangely enough, one of Bitchney’s failed attempts at romance actually drove her into Justin’s arms. Approximately 2 years ago, a younger, yet no less provocative Queers set out to seduce the BSB’s Nick Carter. However, Nick did not want anything to do with her. Queers realized that her methods of seduction would not work on a somebody of Nick’s caliber. Thus, she embarked on a journey to find “a scrub is a guy that thinks he’s fine, also known as a busta, Always thinking bout what he wants and just sits on his broke ass.”

The fortunate ass that fell under her witch spell goes by the name of Justin Timberass. How do I know his identity? My source is the credible 97 Kiss FM in Vancouver. According to Kiss, Bitchney purposely skipped an autograph session in Boston and flew out to Mississippi with Justin. They spent the entire weekend making mad passionate love on the beach while the sea-gulls watched in awe. However, the DJ wanted to defend her actions: “She's only a teen so she has an excuse and if this is the only bad thing she's doing, then she's ok.” Firstly, the phrase "she's only a teen" will get her only so far in life. She is already a ripe 19 years old. No matter how small her brain is, its in her head. Even my 2 year old cousin knows the difference between right and wrong! If Britney cannot think for herself (using her brain, not her hormones...) then she gives all teens a bad name. Secondly, this is only the most recent of her blunders. Between posing half nude in Rolling Stone, wearing a white shirt with no bra to the Nick Awards and snubbing fans in Toronto and Boston and probably everywhere in between, she seems like a regular Saint to me! A role model to girls everywhere! Yet in the end she gets the prize she deserves-an NStink ass.

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Steffi