Kel: (speaking into a megaphone) LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, IN THIS CORNER WE HAVE----

Vicky: What's with the set from WWF Smackdown?

Misto: (chucks a copy of the script at Vicky, grumbling)

Vicky: Ooooh! Misto get's beat up!

Alonzo: At least I'm not the victim this time and come out looking somewhat heroic in the end.

Kel: Yeah... must have been a mistake..

Alonzo: HEY!

Kel: Just kidding, okay?! Yesh, you don't have to jump down my throat.

Alonzo: Anyway, not that I'm complaining, but aren't these "Hero gets thrown in the ring with a bunch of baddies bent on spreading his blood all over the place, so he has to fight his way out" storylines getting WAY overused on TV lately?

Kel: Yeah, but I'm the author and if I want to do one of those, we're going to do one of those...

Lec: Not that Misto doesn't look WAY sexy in a tight pair of pants and a white tank top... (starts to drool)

Kel: WHOA! (hands her a roll of paper towels) Spill, aisle 7....

Last time we left the action, Misto had faced his past with his father via flashbacks and Tanti's dear ol' pop was Pollicle chow.

Tanti: HEY! Sensitive topic there! You could have tried to use something fondly referred to as tact.

Kel: Yeah, but what fun would that have been?

But since then we've decided to do some growing, (STOP SMIRKING!) and now we open the way most shows have as of late: Misto sitting in the office with Alonzo and Vicky. The later two were up to their usual merriment.... bickering.

"This is the latest in computer technology... www.demonsearch.com ... find everything you need to know about the lurky underworld evil." Vicky intoned as she typed in cross-reference info on their latest minion from hell.

"Be that as it may, I still believe---" Alonzo said.

Kittens: (singing to the tune of Britney Spears' "Baby One More Time") STILL BELIEVE!

Kel: NO TEENY BOPPER INFERNO IN HERE!

Kittens: (still singing) HIT ME BABY ONE MORE TIME!

Kel: (unplugs the Karaoke machine they had been using) Ahem!

"--AHEM! I still believe that books are a much faster reference material than your fancy-schmancy computing thing." Alonzo wined in classic Brit fashion as he picked up a thick text. "Why, in the time it will take you to type in the proper information, I could just leaf through these pages and--"

"FOUND IT!" Vicky piped up as the computer beeped in response. "You know, they should create an inter-demon dating base! You know, like archfiend.org, where the lonely and the slimey connect!"

"Much as that appeals to me, I already lead a wonderful and busy social life--" Alonzo began.

"Oh, I know! Every night it's Jeopardy followed by Wheel of Fortune and a nice steaming cup of hot cocoa." Vicky added.

"I know it doesn't exactly measure up with your life of clubbing and push up bra's but--"

"Hey! If ANYONE is wearing a pushup bra here it's---" Misto entered the room at that moment as Vicky was ranting. "Misto!"

Before Misto could ask what the heck was going on, a cat stumbled in landing flat on his face.

"Are you Misto? The private investigator who looks into 'unusual' occurances?" the cat asked nervously.

"No, I'm the other Pollicle with a soul who lives in LA and fights the forces of the appocalypse because I was in love with the Pollicle Slayer but we got a little personal and lost my soul and became a creep, regained my soul, went to hell, came back and left her again after she made her school errupt in a lovely pyrotechnics display on Graduation Day." Misto seethed out of character.

Kel: Misto, could you at least TRY to stay with the script?

Before the cat could respond to the overwhelming sarcasm, he collapsed in a chair. Alonzo and Vicky helped him to relax as he related his story.

"My name is Carbucketty. A few days ago, my brother Quaxo dissapeared from sight. He's been pretty heavilly into betting and from what he told me, he was in pretty deep with this bookie he knew, and well, he wanted me to bail him out. I told him that there was no way and that he should go to hell...."

Vicky: Ah, sweet dramatic irony....

"And then I got this in the mailbox this morning." Carbucketty opened a small white box to reveal the severed end of a cat's tail.

"Uhm... ew?" Vicky turned a distasteful look upon the inanimate kitty part.

Having evidence that something was definately up, Misto took off to find the bookie who Carbucketty's brother became tangled up with. Misto arrived with some pretty fun dialogue, but to cut to the chase, Misto is sent on a wild goose chase that ends with him being catnapped..... er, polliclenapped?

When he awakes a little while later, he is in a cage with a manacle around his wrist. The only sign of life is a pretty gross looking Pum in the next cage over.

"Listen up slaves!" a voice called into the room from behind a red line painted on the floor. "There's only one rule here, so you undead slime better listen up."

Misto and the others are quickly read the rules of the biz, which to give you the reader a quick rundown, include the fact that they cannot pass a little red line painted on the line or turn into a nice little pile of dust. They also cannot have the manacle taken off their wrist until they have killed their 21st opponent in the ring. Since Misto is now Mr. "I'm-oh-so-torchered-and-cannot-kill-or-my-overactive-conscience-will-plague-me" Pollicle, he refuses to kill anyone, a pledge kinda hard to keep considering he is slated to fight that evening and if he doesn't kill his opponent, he will be killed.

Munku: Yeah, I can see where that would cause a small problem.

Meanwhile, Alonzo and Vicky FINALLY drop their arguement long enough to realize Misto has gone missing and it's broad daylight outside. Being a guy who doesn't tan well, this causes more than a little concern for the two over the fate of their employer.

"OH MY GOD HE MUST HAVE BEEN FRIED!!!" Vicky screetched.

Kel: Thank you, Vic, but I was looking for something with a slight bit more tact involved.

Vicky: You said they were pushing the panic button, didn't you?

"Now let's just calm down here and think for a minute....." Alonzo said, sensibly. "Alright. I have an idea."

"Is it lonely in there?" Vicky quipped.

Lec: SLAM! Nice one, Vic.

Alonzo: **rolls eyes** Never mind. I could say something, but I won't.

To make a long and dialogue-intensive scene short and sweet, Alonzo decides to retrace Misto's footprints back to the bookie.

When he arrives, the bookie plays dumb---

Bomb: Something not too hard for our resident stand-in and background cat space-filler: Coricopat.

Cori: (in a flat monotone) Yea. You love me. How honored I am to be loved by you.

--so Alonzo goes postal on him with the morning newspaper until he gets the information he needs.

Cori: Ah. Again with the honor. Being beaten into submission by the morning news.

Lec: I do have to side with Cori on this..... A NEWSPAPER??

Kel: Okay, so in the show he shoots the guy in the hand with a dart and pins him to the wall. That fits nicely in the "not PG rating".

Cori: Drat.

Anyway, since this thing is in danger of getting wicked long, let's just say Alonzo gets the information he needs and both he and Vicky get into the fights that night to save Misto's skin. Just so that we can wrap up this plotline really quickly, lets also say that Alonzo has already figured out how to break the manacles that hold Misto and his demonic company.

Vicky: You're making him sound MUCH more heroic than he really is.

Kel: Sorry about that, but I kinda need to go use the litter box, so I'm speeding it up a little here.

"And now ladies and gentlemen, we present a fighter in his first appearance here in the ring!! He's a skilled fighter with a taste for blood: Misto the Pollicle!" the really tacky announcer's voice blared over the loudspeaker as Misto stepped out into the ring.

"And in this corner, a crowd pleaser..... the scary pum of terror..... Billus Baileyus!"

Bill: Wow. That made me sound just so terrifying.

Kel: Sorry, but Bill Bailey doesn't sound terribly frightening when you're talking about WWF wrestling and stuff like that.

Bill: And your 'improvement' to my name IS?

They jump into the fray and Misto attempts to avoid fighting by merely blocking blow after blow and not trying to take the offensive. Unfortunately, this is not his opponent's philosophy, and he is getting beat into a nice undead-pollicle-pulp, but not dead yet (cuz that would kinda finish off the series).

Pounce: YEA!

Kel: --But we're not going to let that happen, now are we?

Pounce: Shoot! SO close...

"Time to sweeten the pot a little..." the one handler, (who just for irony's sake is the guy who came to Misto in the first place, claiming his brother was in danger) said as he threw a knife to Misto's opponent.

Anyway, to make a long scene short, Misto's opponent charges him with the blade drawn and cuts our hero, forcing him into battle-readiness. After sticking Billus Baileyus with the knife and being declared the winner, he comes back to his senses and realizes what he's done.

Misto: And I get to brood again?

Lec: You know it.

Misto: Did I call that or what!?

Pounce: What.

"Oh dear." Alonzo said from his hiding spot on the bleachers.

"You can say that again." Vicky whispered.

"Oh dear."

Cats: Lameness.

Misto is taken back to his little cell to do what he does best while another match goes on in the ring. Meanwhile, Vicky works the guards with her feminine charms and all-around-seductiveness while Alonzo sneaks into the holding area for the fighters.

"Ever seen a gal do this?" Vicky crooned and pulled her leg up parallel to her body.

Females: STOP DOING THAT!!!

Toms: (gawking) Wow!

Jenny: Toms! Tsk!

While the guards drool, Alonzo made it into the holding area with his special key to unlock the cuffs that he made in a sideplot we frankly forgot to mention, but all you really need to know is that he made it.

"Pssst! Hello in there?" He called to no one in particular.

"What are you doing back here?" One of the fighters named Victor called out to him.

"I'm looking for my employer. Uh... short, dark.... shoe box draped over his head?"

"OH! Him. Well, he's dead--"

Cats: And this fic series is OVER!

Kel: Not even close.

Cats: Dang.

"-- or he will be in about thirty seconds. He's out there again, fighting with Mungopkos... And who the heck are you?"

"A friend. I have a way to get you all out of here," he dug in his pocket. "with this!" he produced the key from the aforementioned sideplot.

Anyway, more zipping through the plot now...... Carbucketty steals the key from Alonzo and discovers that it really DOES work. This is all very riveting, but in the meantime, Misto is back out on the floor getting his ribs bashed in by the best fighter ever in the ring, who incidentally had a yen to make Misto his 21st kill.

I don't know much about fighting, so we'll just skip ahead to the touching sentimental moment. Misto manages to pin Mungopkos to the wall, but instead of running the guy through, he releases him out of the goodness of his heart.

Cats: (cough LOUDLY)

Kel: Did you want to say something?

Cats: Nothing! Nothing at all....

Which proves to be a really big mistake when Mungopkos picks up his stick and runs Misto through the midsection with a pole.

Lec: I knew he shouldn't have let his guard down....

Misto did his normal theatrics with a 4x4 through his middle and Mungopkos is about to drive the pole in deeper and send Misto to that big cat pan in the sky, when the fighter stops and one can only guess is taking some time to do some major soul-searching.

Misto: He has to LOOK for his? MAN! Mine came with the whole package.

Kel: It's a figure of speech you--- Never mind! Never mind!

Instead of killing the Pollicle, he rips the pole out of his midsection and addresses the cheering throngs of onlookers, (that is, he growls and they all race for the exits).

"Kill them." Carbucketty called from his position next to his brother in the stands.

"I wouldn't advise that." a voice called from behind Quaxo. The two turned to face a gun being held by Alonzo, with Vicky not far behind.

Kel: Uh-oh. Guns tabboo in PG....... here, I'll fix that!

When he squeezed the trigger, a stream of water sprayed out.

Alonzo: Way to kill my big heroic moment.

But what was more important was that Alonzo had bought Misto and the other fighters enough time to use the key to free themselves from the cuffs and turn on the orderlies who kept the fighters in line.

After the normal kicking of the villians' butts, our three heroes walk out into the night arm in arm in arm.

Pounce: Awww. How sweet. I think I may---

Kel: Sick up. I know the joke, Pounce. Try changing up your material once in a while and you may actually get a laugh.

Pounce: (as he walks away) Pfft! Look who's talking...

"Gosh Misto, you look really---- Well, I guess it's a good thing you heal fast." Vicky said as she supported the wounded Pollicle as he limped along.

"Well, don't worry!" Alonzo smiled at coming out heroic for creating the key to unlocking the cuffs. "Little rest, some blood, and you'll be right as rain again."

"Thanks, man." Misto said as he turned to the Brit cat. "You were key."

Jem: (picks up something from the floor) Actually, this was the key.

Cats: Never mind. Just never mind.

"You both did great." Misto said as they walked along. "And you know? I think we did a good thing here tonight."

"Yeah. We set the captives free." Alonzo smiled.

"Actually, didn't we just set a bunch of the bad guys free?" Vicky piped up as the large collection of free Pums and Pollicles ran down the street and into the night air.

"Well, technically..... yes." Alonzo and the other two groaned as they realized what this meant.

Cats: We groan too, for we know that this means there will be more of this fic series yet to come.

Pounce: If that ending didn't scream "continuing subplot" I don't know what does.

Kel: CONTINUING SUBPLOT!

Jemi: That.