DANI- okay guys coffee break over, everybody move your furry little butts back here

MISTO- Darn, I thought she was going to forget about us!

DANI- Aww don't worry, we fanfic writers NEVER forget about our characters

VICKY- How is that a good thing?

DANI- Do you guys want to go back to MISTO?

VICKY- *Gulp*

MISTO- We'll be good

MUNKU- Let's just get this over with.

(Herr Asparaschutlz and Frauline Jellneider are talking about the party last night, Herr Asparaschutlz says he was drinking to much to really remember anything that happened. She's worried about getting married Herr Asparaschultz says it will all turn out alright)

GUS- And the old dispair

that was often there

suddenly ceases to be

and you wake up one day

look around and say

"Somebody wonderful married..."

(Tugger throws a brick through the window of the fruit shop, with a loud CRASH)

DEM- MACAVITY!

MAC- What?

DANI- No Dem that was just the window

DEM- Ooops sorry ( innocent smile)

GUS (spoken)- It is nothing! Kittens on their way to school, mischievious kitttens nothing more! I assure you! School kittens

CASS- Gee you think it was kittens?

GUS- young and full of mischief, you understand?

JELLY- (spoken) I understand

(Now Tugger goes on stage with a gorilla, actully Pounce in a gorrila costume)

POUNCE- I can't belive I'm doing this

DANI- Call it type casting

TUGGER- I know what you're thinking,

you wonder why I chose her

out of all the queens in the world

POUNCE- (muffled by costume) I'm not a queen! I'm not even a gorilla!

TUGGER- That's just a first impression

What goods a first impression?

If you knew her like I do

you would change your point of view

DEM- No I think the inter-species relationships would still be gross

TUGGER- How can I speak of her virtues

I don't know where to begin

She's clever she's smart ,she reads music

She doesn't smoke or drink gin ( like I do)

Yet, when we're walking toghter

They sneer if I'm holding her hand

But if they could see her through my eyes

maybe they would understand

(Spoken) Mein Damen und herren masdames et Monsiuers, Ladies and gentlemen

DANI- (shoots a glare at Victoria who whistle innocently)

TUGGER- Is to fall in love a crime?

Can we ever tell where the heart leads us?

DEM- This is actully kind of sweet!

DANI- Just wait....

TUGGER- All we are asking is a little understanding

Why can't the world Liben und leben lassen...

Live and let live

(sung) I understand your objection,

I know the problems not small

But if you could see her thorugh my eyes

(spoken) She wouldn't look jewish at all

DEM- " this is sweet" retracted.

DANI- you can always tell the sickos in the theater when the whole place is silent and like two people in the back actually laugh at that line.

(Cliff learns that Frauline Jellneider has cancled the engadgement to Herr Asparshutlz and confronts her about it)

MUNKU- Frauline Jellneider you can't give up like that!

CASS- Yeah, we have to grin and bear our way through these parodies why should she get to take the easy way out?

JELLY- Oh yes I can! it's easy for you to say! Fight! and if you fail what does it matter... you go to Paris

And if you do not like Paris, where? But if you were me

(sung) Time is rushing by

What would you do?

the clock is running out

What would you do?

Being Brave,

Being sure

and free imagine if you were me

Alone like me

This is the only world I know

some rooms to let

the sum of a lifetime even so

DEM- which is actully kinda pathetic

JELLY- I'll take your advice

What would you do?

Would you pay the price?

What would you do?

Suppose simply keeping still

means you manage until

the end

MUNGO- The end?

DANI- No!

CATS- Darnit

JELLY- What would you do my brave young friend?

With a storm in the wind

what would you do?

suppose you're one frightened voice

being told what the choice must be

Go on tell me

I will listen

what would you do

If you were me?

(Sally get offered her job back at the Kit-Cat club but with all this going on Clifford Munkshaw decides he and Sally are going back to the states even thoguh she doesn't want to)

MUNKU- The Party's over! it was fun but it's over!

MISTO- (blowing on a party favor and spinning a noise maker) Huh?

RUMPLE- Can't we just stay a little longer....

MUNKU- NO! You sit down and pack right now, when I come back you better be ready to go.

MUNGO- 'EY! Don' talk to Rumple loike that!

(Sally starts to back her bags and The Emcee goes up to the mike and sings)

TUGGER- I don't care much

go or stay

I don't care much

either way

Hearts grown hard on a windy street

Lips grow cold

with a rent to meet

So if you kiss me

if we touch

warnings fair

I don't care much

VICKY- I care if we ever finish this parody let's speed it up!!

TUGGER-

I don't care much

go or stay

I don't care much either way

Words sound false

When your coats to thin

Paws don't watlz

when roof cave in

if we touch

warnings fair

I don't care very much

(Cliff meets Mistwig at the Kit-Cat club and they have a huge fight that results in him getting his tail kicked)

JEM- An all to commom feeling for Munkustrap

MUNKU- I thought you were a nice kitten,

JEM- My theripist says that I shouldn't try to further people's misconcived notions about me

MUNKU- (scratches his head and walks off mudering about kittens now-a-days)

(Cliff goes back to the apratment to meet Sally but she's not there, she come in looking rather sick and without her cherished fur coat)

POUNCE- I'm glad she got rid off that thing, whenever I see fur I wonder if it's Uncle Lulu

DANI- (raises a eyebrow)

POUNCE- Don't ask.

(She says that she feels rather sick, and Cliff says she should go tot he docter. Sally tells him thats where she was and he figures out she got rid of the kitten because it was the only thing holding them together)

VICKY- *sniff*

(Cliff leaves and Sally goes to the Kit-Cat Club)

TUGGER- ( sadly) And now...Mein Damen und Herren...Mesdames et Mesiurs... ladies and gentlemen

VICKY- Toms and queens!

DANI- Good grief.

TUGGER- The Kit-Cat club is happy to welcome....back a old friend: I give you the tost of May-fair, Frauline Sally Rumples

RUMPLE- (sung) what good is sitting alone in your room?

Come 'ear the music play

Life is a Cataret old chum

come to the Cataret

CASS- Do we have a choice?

RUMPLE- Put down the knitting

the mop and the broom

Time for a holiday

POUNCE- Have yourself a merry little christmas...

DANI- ( rubs her head)

RUMPLE- life is a the Cataret, old chum

come to the Cataret

Come taste the wine

come 'ear the band

come blow your horn

MISTO- (blows on the party favor again)

RUMPLE- Start celebrating

right this way your tables waiting

No use permiting some profit of doom

to wipe every smile away

MUNKU- You know after this we're jus going to do another parody and another and another....

DANI- Hey quit that!

RUMPLE- Life is a Cataret old chum

come to the Cataret

I used to 'ave a girlfriend known as Elsie

with whom I shared

for sordid rooms in Chelsie

She wasn' what you'd call a blushin' flower

as a matter of fact she rented by the 'our

JELLY- Oh MY!

VICKY- We better finish up this parody soon before the older cats have heart attacks

RUMPLE- the day she died the neighbors came to snicker

"well that's what comes from to much pills and liquer"

But when I saw her laid out loike a queen

she was the 'appiest..corpse I've ever seen

LEC- Ewww morbid much?

RUMPLE- I think of Elsie to this very day

'ow she used to turn to me and say

" What good is sittin' alone in your room

come 'ear the music play

life is a Cataret old chum

Come to the Cataret

MISTO- I have a bad feeling that we're going to be doing this whole song

CATS- AHHHHHHH!!!!

RUMPLE- And as for me

well as for me

I made my mind up backin Chelsie

When I go? I'M GOIN' LIKE ELSIE!

Start by admitting from Cradle to tomb,

isn't so long a stay

Life is a Cataret old chum

Only a Cataret old chum

And I LOVE A CATARET!!!

CASS- Well she's the only one...

DANI- *glares*

MUNGO- Is that it?

DANI- Nope, just one more song

MUNKU- And Jellicle cats may now rejoice!!

CATS- YEA!!!!

(Cliff is on the train out of berlin when a officer played by the Emcee approches him)

Emcee/Officer- I hope you have enjoyed your stay in Germany, Mr. Munkshaw and you will return again soon

MUNKU- Not very likely

EMCEE/ OFFICER- You did not find our Country beautiful?

MUNKU- Yes I found it beautiful

EMCEE/ OFFICER- A good journey sir

MUNKU- (spoken) There was a Cataret, and there was a Master of cerimonies

JEM- And there was a insane director who was making us do her parody

MUNKU- And there was a city called Berlin, in a country called Germany

It was the end of the world an I was dancing with Sally Rumples

and we were both fast asleep

POUNCE- What ever kind of cat-nip he's on I want some!!

MUNKU- Wilkomen, bievenue, welcome

fremde, etranger, stranger

MISTO- Didn't we do this already?

VICKY- Another reprise! RUN!!

MUNKU/ TUGGER- Glucklich zu shen

juis suis enchante

TUGGER- Happy to see you

Bleibe, reste, stay

(Spoken like he's about to cry) Mein Damen und Herren, Mesdames et Mesuirs, Ladies and Gentlemen where are your troubles now? Forgotton? I...told you so. We have no troubles here.

VICKY- Except insane directors

DANI- Would you stop that!!!

TUGGER- In here...life is...beautiful....the girls are....beauiful...even the orchestra is beautiful

Auf Wiedershen

A bientot

(Drum roll and the Emcee takes off his jacket to reaveal he's wearing a concentration camp outfit with a yellow star, cymbol clash and black out)

RUMPLE- That was disturbing

DANI- Good it was supposed to be

TUGGER- ( back to normal) What are we waiting for let's amscray

CATS- (stampede out)

DANI- ( Starts cleaning off the stage) And there was a Cabaret and a Master of Cerimonies, and it was the end of the world, and we were both fast asleep.... for in here, life is beautiful

Aufweidershan

A bientot

Goodbye