The ginger Tom stood before the panel with his front and back paws bound in chains. He looked up at the judge and said. "I plead innocent."
Old Deuteronomy smacked his paw on the car roof calling, "Order! Order in the court! Macavity: you have been charged of stealing one of the things, which we really didn't want to steal but you stole anyway."
"That's the point of stealing."
"Oh right. Er, also, you beat up Victoria and you tickled Jemima till she had asthma, dealing out illegal drugs such as catnip, attacked Alonzo, and you beat Jellyorum over the head with a stick and she's still in the vet's office."
"I didn't know she was hurt that badly. Boy, the vet's office... eh EW."
"Yeah tell me about it. But you are accused and you plead innocent." Old D. let out a loud roar; "This case has started! Who calls stand first?"
No one volunteered except Tugger who had nothing to do with this case, he just wanted attention, and maybe it would help his ego if he ended up getting some one convicted. Old D. shook his head and mumbled something about why he had a 'stud' in this tribe. "Who's Macavity's lawyer?"
The red-ish feline female stalked down the isle, rolling her hips, her eyes darting from side to side looking at the jury and such, her face almost completely emotionless but a corner of her mouth was pulled back a bit into a strange smile. "I am, sir."
"Ok. Bombalurina's client vs. the Jellicles. And Munkustrap is their lawyer. Now, court adjured for recess." Most of the group ran out screaming and played kickball and jump rope outside. "Darn! They started foot ball without me!" the wise and great Jellicle leader ran out to tackle some of his friends, as while poor Gus was delusional and began singing to a mop thinking it was his long dead sister.
Insanity is under-rated.
Macavity sighed and kicked his feet up on the table. "This will be a breeze. No one has proof I was there at all." He cackled.
Bom rolled her eyes. "You ands your male ego can go do this case. You know what I want. I need some catnip of tonight."
"I think you have an addiction probable, hon."
"I do not! I can quit if I want to!"
"I can't believe you. But since you pay me a good sum, I'll let you have a bit on the house. Only you can take catnip while here because then they'll know about my dealings."
Bombalurina groaned. How was she going to get through a huge case without her catnip to revive her? It'd be tough but she'd get through.
After everyone had a trip to the kitty box and finished up their game of tidily wings, everyone sat back inside the courtroom, practically bored out their minds. Munkustrap stood before Old Deuteronomy.
"Now we have evidence and witnesses to Macavity's crimes. I call Alonzo to the stand." The black and white male startled jerked up from his nap. "Alonzo, get up here." Munku tapped his foot impatiently.
Alonzo limped to the stand and looked nervously around. He felt like he was being watched. Well he was by the entire tribe to reveal whether Macavity was a horrible villain or a misunderstood Tom. "Hi?"
"Alonzo Tom, do you swear to tell the truth unless it's very necessary that you must lie under circumstances to convict Macavity who is very, very guilty that we can see by your band aids placed all over your body and such and now swear!" Munkustrap talked extremely fast that Alonzo only caught the last two words: now swear.
"Um…. Damn?"
"Wrong swear. Just say you'll be honest."
"Ok. I will."
"Mr. Jellicle: where were you on the night of the crime?"
"I was eating my Strasbourg pie. It tasted very nice and I put strawberries all over it and I was reading this really good novel on bloody, human romances which was sickly fascinating-"
"WE get the point." The tabby eyed his brother. "And what time of the day were you beaten up by some one?"
"That was after the part of the book when Toniario was drunk and he began to chase invisible pink elephants and his wife thought he was cheating on her and-"
"Then you were attacked?"
"Yes. He came a me with a big stick and he tried to beat my head in. He also tried to beat my mommy, Jellyorum, and then he punched Victoria… not that it matters about the last one."
Four witnesses and Seven hours later,
"Jemima get up here please." The little kitten trembling walked to the stand and collapsed in a chair panting. "You'll tell the truth and all that jazz and you know what to do besides you are too young to be lying so we're safe for now."
"Ok, sir. Can I suggest a breath mint for Macavity though? His breath stinks."
Old D. slammed his head against the desk. Now they were going to convict him of having not brushed his teeth in a long time?
"Honor, I object!" Bombalurina jumped up. She looked terrible but so did everyone else in this boredom of insanity and inhumane acts of punishments. Old D. moaned that it was over ruled and put sleeping pills in his glass of water. A little while later he was out clod on the desk.
Munkustrap didn't notice. He was the only one looking fresh still. He was very intent on bringing Macavity down because he had tried to take Demeter away and now Demeter wanted to go away with the Hidden paw. But this second in charge was not going to let it happen! (Music plays in the background trying to make him seem tall and brave. It fails to do so.)
Jemima's interrogation was beginning to have her interrogated. And the interview of interrogation began.
"Jemima, what's the matter?"
"I have asthma."
"But your health records from the vet don't say that you have asthma."
"Because I was tickled into an extreme state where I therefore caught asthma and my lungs hurt now form all this talking with out breaking." She paused a moment and took a deep breathe.
"And who tickled you into this state?"
"It was... it was him! Macavity!" She pointed a tiny paw the ginger tom. Macavity looked surprised and convinced many with that act.
Bombalurina jumped back up. "I object! It is impossible to catch asthma! It is something that people get mainly from allergies and such and cold weather and have a gene from when they are born."
Munkustrap shot back, "She might have had the gene but it remained hidden. When she was tickled so badly the gene could only take that much and was awakened. Now she has a bad case of breathing slash respiratory problems." He turned to the jury. "Now, this... this monster right over there caused this poor innocent, sweet Jemima so much pain. Jemima- the one who accepted Grizabella into our tribe more the Victoria did. The little kitten whom everyone just has to love because she so adorable!'
"Munkustrap. Please stop." The little kitten stalked off the stand and out the door to go get ice cream. The gray lawyer looked confused before saying, "No more questions."
Old. D. wasn't awake but Bombalurina took her place. "I call my witnesses to prove that Macavity is innocent as Jemima. Macavity is called to stand." She leaned against the bench and fell asleep till Etcetra poked her a few times. "Eh? What? Who how when ? Oh sorry." She paced in front of the podium, mad the Napoleon of Crime take his oath of truth and on to the questions.
"You are a notorious criminal, right?"
"Maybe, maybe not. Depends on your view of that notorious criminal. I'm just a tall, thin ginger male who is here." He said with a sly smile.
"Fine then. Did you commit these crimes? Did you tickle Jemima, and hurt Jellyorum, Alonzo, and Victoria?"
"No. The job is too easy and too sloppy for my tastes. Maybe it was Mungojerrie or Rumpleteazer…"
"Or could you have sworn that it might 'ave 'een both!" The calicos finished off. They looked at the starring eyes before Mungojerrie burst out. "No! It ain't us! We're inno'ent! We neve' worked for 'im. He threatened Teaser's lives and me. And we had to steal 'tuff 'or 'im. But we 'idn't do 'arm to anyone."
Old D. yawned and nodded. "I believe you. now go away so we can get done with this case." The two scrambled out of the courtroom. "Now let's take another recess." A loud bell rang, sending Etcetra and Electra throwing their books in the air screaming something about school being out while everyone else went to the litter box room and then began playing one on one basketball outside. Tugger lost to Deuteronomy.
Bombalurina was smacking her head hard against the wall. "Macavity! I can't! I need catnip, now! I'm losing it man… I'm losing it. Losing it. Please, ginger great one, give me that stuff!" She was on her knees and was about to cry.
The hidden paw sighed. "You weak hearted fool. I've been accused of beating others and stealing the car keys and you want your candy? Fine take it you brat!" He handed a small bag of a powder and Bomb took it right up. She sniffed it then nibbled on the contents, her eyes rolling back in pleasure. Then the red queen began coughing up a storm. Minutes later she was hacking up blood.
"Macavity… what.. hack hack, what is happening… hack hack…"
The tom laughed. "I put dognip in their too. You'll be dead or close to death in moments." That moment his lawyer was at his feet dead. "You were good to the last, honey, but I don't need an addictive."
Demeter walked in. "She's dead?"
"Sorry, dear but she is. I knew she was betraying us because I found that she loves Munkustrap but Munku wants you back. And you and I were meant to be together forever. Now let's go before the guards get back." Demeter took a key she had stolen from Munkustrap and unlocked Mac. "Now move! The others are outside!"
Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer buckled themselves into the car and warmed up the engine. 'here they come!" shouted one. The engine revved as Mac and Dem leapt into the seat. "Let's go!" And the old ford flew off as the other Jellicles caught them in the act.
Munkustrap kissed Bombalurina's head. So pretty and so devoted but now she was gone. "Now we will catch Macavity and then I will twist is tall and thin body into-"
"Macavity wasn't there. We can't catch him but we have to try and slow him up." Old D. patted his son on the head. "It's sad that Dem and Bom are gone but don't worry, they have to come back someday."
