Krazy Kat: I'm ba-a-a-a-ack, and I've got Part 2 all ready to inflict on you. Here's the updated cast list:

Plato: Wait a minute, I thought I was off when my character was killed in episode one.

KK: You pathetically naive fool. Surely you didn't think I'd let you off with one episode.

Plato: I was kind of hoping...

KK: Anyway, we need a big guy to be the Cyberleader, to better throttle the Doctor in episode three.

Skimble: What's this? Mo< KK: Nothing you need concern yourself with for now. To your places, everyone. Now, last time, Sarah had been force-fed American beer by a frog-shaped Cybermat. The Doctor tries to rid her of the beer by sending her through the teleporter, but the wossitium drive has been removed by an unknown person.

Kellman: Unknown? Allow me to introduce myself...

KK: Scratch that. It was removed by Professor Kellman, a planetary surveyor and the station's official Obnoxious Civilian. Knowing that Stevenson and Lester are coming for him, he prepares by getting out his own SMG. But let's get back to the Doctor and see how he's going to get around using a teleporter without a wossitium drive.

Doctor: And it's a real humdinger, in the spirit of MacGyver but with that Doctor Who touch. In place of the wossitium drive, I have placed a wad of Jelly Babies which have been given a charge from...

FANFARE

Doctor: The Sonic Screwdriver. This should do just fine.

Harry: I still think if you're going to teleport us onto an asteroid, we should get a couple of spacesuits.

Doctor: Nonsense. Oxygen is for losers. Off you go. (Presses a few buttons. Jelly Babies explode in his face.)

Doctor: Argh!!!!!

(Looks up. Sees Sarah and Harry teleport away.)

Doctor: Jelly Babies! Is there nothing they can't do?

KK: But let us go check on Vorus. You may recall from last time that he has planned a trap to destroy the remnants of the Cyber-Pekes. But we really have no idea what this plan is.

Vorus: Well, I'll tell you. Our agent up on the station has contacted the Cyber-Pekes and told them of our location. When they arrive, we shall fire at them a rumpusium warhead missile we've been quietly building. The reason we've been building it quietly is because those pansies on the Council would disapprove of the whole thing.

KK: What about the other people on the station?

Vorus: They get blown up, too.

KK: Isn't that a bit cruel?

Vorus: Pardon?

KK: Oh, never mind.

Magrick: Er, Vorus. We've got a problem.

Vorus: What is it now?

Magrick: Someone botched the requisition for the hydrogen to be used as fuel and we're stuck with 47 tubs of whipped cream.

Vorus: Anything else?

Magrick: Um, the Missile Builders' Union has gone on strike.

Vorus: Dammit, can't a power-hungry nutter get decent help anymore? You know what to do. Hire some scabs and see if you can get the thing to run on whipped cream.

KK: But let's check up on the search for Kellman. Stevenson and Lester have split up and it's Stevenson that gets the privilege of running into Kellman.

Kellman: Oh hi!

Stevenson: Put your gun down and you won't get hurt too much.

Kellman: Fat chance!!!!! (Attempts to switch off SMG's safety. Hits clip ejector instead.)

Kellman: Whoops!!!!!

KK: Now that that's resolved, let's go see what's happened to Sarah and Harry.

(Switch to cave with teleporter pad. Sarah and Harry appear.)

Harry: I could have sworn that asteroids didn't have atmospheres.

Sarah: (awakens) Ugh. What am I doing on a fake cave set on a sound stage?

KK: Look here. I'm not tolerating any lip.

Harry: Well, the Doctor had teleported us to Nepeta to remove the American beer from your system.

Sarah: I thought this was Doctor Who and not Star Trek.

Harry: Well, it worked anyway. (looks around) Say, isn't that catnip growing there?

Sarah: Catnip growing in an asteroid? That's daft!

Harry: Well, no more daft than an asteroid having an atmosphere. Let's see if it really is catnip. (Grabs some. Crushes it and sniffs.) Wowowowowowowow!!!!!

Sarah: Are you all right?

Harry: Yeah, just reminded of my days at UC-Berkeley.

Sarah: You never attended UC-Berkeley.

Harry: Anyway, I think I'll swipe some before we go back up.

Sarah: Did you hear something?

(They're suddenly surrounded by a bunch of guys with rifles.)

Harry: Er, I know it looks like we were stealing this catnip, but we weren't really. We were... um...

Sarah: Making crop circles.

Harry: Yeah! (sotto voce) I don't think they're buying it.

Edgar: What do you think, Chauncy?

Chauncy: I say they're making it up, Edgar.

Edgar: Why?

Chauncy: It's the wrong time of year for crop circles.

Edgar: Yeah. Guess we'd better take them to Vorus.

(They're taken away.)

Harry: Aren't you even going to read us our rights?

KK: But we'll leave them for now and check up on what's happening on the space station.

Stevenson: Before we go on, I have a question.

KK: Yes?

Stevenson: What gives with this Planet of Catnip stuff?

KK: Er... Well, for that, I shall turn you over to the all-knowing Doctor for an explanation. Doctor?

Doctor: Huh? Am I on already? Hmm... catnip... (flips through script) Ah, here we are. Right, Nepeta is the greatest source of catnip in the galaxy and it's for this reason that the Cyber-Pekes fear and hate it. This is because catnip fumes are toxic to them.

Stevenson: That's it? No mystical stuff?

Doctor: They're borgs! Of course there's no mystical stuff. Now let's get back to the point and get Kellman to tell us what he did with the wossitium drive.

Kellman: You'll never get anything out of me!!!!! Ahahahahahaha!!!!! (gives two-fingered salute)

Stevenson: What about that remote control thingie we found in your room that the Doctor says controls Cybermats?

Kellman: It's a Tetris game, for relieving the monotony of long space flights.

Lester: I say we torture it out of him. Let's make him watch Manos.

Kellman: I'm a fully qualified MiSTie. Not even Coleman Francis makes me quail.

Lester: Coleman Francis? He's tough.

Frog: bud... bud...

Doctor: Don't shoot, Commander. It's not going for you.

Kellman: You can't scare me with that. I'm immune to the effects of American beer.

Doctor: Oh, I wasn't going to use it in that manner. (Fiddles with controls. Cybermat goes up Kellman's trousers.)

Kellman: Aack!!!!! Alright, it's in my left coat pocket!!!!! Getitoffme!!!!! Getitoffme!!!!!

Doctor: How lovely. See what you can do when you hit in the right place.

KK: Which is a good point to abruptly switch scenes to Nepeta where Vorus is interrogating Sarah and Harry.

Vorus: Alright, tell me who you are and where you're from, and I might refrain from using the Iron Maiden.

Harry: Well, we used a Time Ring to take us from a discussion concerning storyline continuity with the BBC.

Sarah: Taking us to the space station orbiting above, which had been attacked by a killer frat party.

Harry: Said frat party went and attacked Sarah here.

Sarah: So we teleported down here because it always works on Star Trek.

Vorus: (to guard) They're obviously nutters. Better take them to a padded cell.

(They're taken away)

(phone rings)

Vorus: I'm sorry. You must have the wrong number. Bye. (phone rings again)

Tyrum: Vorus, I know it's you, so quit fooling around. I have something to discuss with you, so get down here pronto.

KK: So we shall leave Vorus as he goes to meet Tyrum while muttering expressions that won't be printed here, and go see what's happening with the Doctor.

Doctor: Your teleporter's fixed, good as new. That'll be two hundred quid.

Stevenson: What????? Two hundred quid just to stick a wossitium drive back in?

Doctor: Well, consider the fact that I'm the only person within fifty light years that could properly perform such a task. Also, I'd like some compensation due to the fact that the unethical method used to divine the drive's location will hurt my reputation as a good guy.

Stevenson: Alright, here's your two hundred pounds.

Lester: Commander, we've got an incoming ship.

Stevenson: Without having filed a flight plan in triplicate three months in advance? Ridiculous.

Lester: This is space station SM34. I'm afraid you can't dock here for the next ten days as they're having problems at O'Hare. (static) This is space station SM34. Are you even paying attention?

KK: While they're having their one-sided conversation, let's go check up on Vorus.

Vorus: You wanted to see me?

Tyrum: Yes. I've received reports that two aliens have been spotted in the upper levels your men patrol.

Vorus: Um, swamp gas, maybe a weather balloon. You really should stop watching The X-Files.

Tyrum: We don't have swamp gas or weather balloons. Since you've been slack in upholding our isolation policies, I've sent my own troops to relieve yours, by force, if necessary.

Vorus: (gives two-fingered salute) We'll see about that. (leaves)

KK: So he rushes back to his headquarters to find a firefight started. He manages to sneak through and give Magrick orders.

Vorus: Make extra sure that they don't discover the missile. As for the prisoners, have them shot.

Magrick: Do we have to? I've just gotten the pincers heated up.

Vorus: Tyrum's troops might get them and who knows what they'll blab. Anyway, it'll put them out of their misery.

KK: Speaking of which, let's go check on said twosome.

Sarah: I've got an idea for getting us out of here.

Harry: Yeah?

Sarah: Ask the guard for some water.

Harry: Um, right. (to guard) Water... thirsty... sick man.

Guard: (opening door) Aw hell, I never was any good at these Tri-bonds. Um, things found in a prison, things found in a hospital, things used to trick a jail guard.

(Sarah kicks Guard in the Voonerables)

Sarah: Right, let's scarper.

KK: But just seconds after they're gone, the shooting squad arrives. They've found that Sarah and Harry have left the cell, so let's pick up The Chase!!!!!

Randomly Forming Quartet: Oooooh, The Chaaaaase!!!!!

KK: Okay gumshoes, each correct answer is worth five Acme Cri- wait, we're digressing. The whole procession went through countless tunnels, over the river and through the woods, up the long ladder and down the short rope, to hell with King Billy and- sorry, we're at it again. Anyway, all good things must come to an end. But so does this chase scene, as Sarah and Harry hit a dead end.

Harry: I could have sworn we were suppose to turn left at that last intersection.

Sarah: I told you we should have stopped and asked for directions. But did you listen? Nooooo.

KK: But just as they're cornered by Vorus's troops, the latter end up being cornered by some of Tyrum's troops, capturing both parties. We'll leave them and go back to the space station, where things are picking up.

Stevenson: They're docking, and in a handicap space!!!!!

Doctor: There's only one bunch with enough gall to do that. Well, two actually. But since the Polleks aren't suppose to be in this sketch, it must be Cyber-Pekes.

KK: They head for the airlock to find them entering already, so Stevenson and Lester open fire.

Cyber-Pekes: Ka-pwing. Ka-pwing.

KK: The Cyber-pekes then mow down that twosome with their nifty head-mounted blasters. The Doctor then attempts to bullshit his his way out of all this.

Doctor: Hello there. Don't mind me, just looking for the can. I'll just leave you to taking over this station. Err... (pauses) Would you like a Jelly Baby?

KK: But he ends up getting shot by the Cyber-Pekes as well. Will the Doctor have to waste another regeneration? (Don't be daft, of course not.) What fate awaits Sarah and Harry? And what Fiendish Plan (TM) do the Cyber-Pekes have in mind? Find out next time!!