MAC: Hey Rumple, do you think you could help me with a small problem?

RUMPLE: Sure luv, wot is it?

MAC: (points down to his hind leg, where Ripple has pretty much attached herself) HER!

RUMPLE: Roight! Uh, Ripple dear, ya wanna be in the chorus for the next scene of the parody?

RIPPLE: Can Oi stand next to Macavity?

RUMPLE: Sure ya can!

MAC: THANKS A LOT, RUMPLETEAZER! AUGH!

(So anyway, now that some of the hippies have introduced themselves, they start to sing about their "have-nots", which they'd probably have if they quit this hippie nonsense and came home and became good kitties again...but that's what their parents think, not them...so they sing...)

MISTO: I'm black, I'm black

POUNCE: I'm pink, I'm pink

MAC: Nah, that's just the catnip talking.

VICKY: I'm Rinso white

BILL BAILEY: I'm invisible...

ADMETUS: You can say THAT again! Such is the life of the background cat!

TUGGER: (picks up the song)

Ain't got no home

OTHER CATS: So

TUGGER: Ain't got no shoes

OTHER CATS: Poor

TUGGER: Ain't got no money

OTHER CATS: Honey

TUGGER: Ain't got no class

JULIET: No comment.

OTHER CATS: Common

TUGGER: Ain't got no scarf

OTHER CATS: Hot

TUGGER: Ain't got no gloves

OTHER CATS: Cold

TUGGER: Ain't got no bed

OTHER CATS: Beat

TUGGER: Ain't got no pot

OTHER CATS: Busted

TUGGER: Ain't got no faith

OTHER CATS: Catholic

TUMBLE: Ain't got no mother

OTHER CATS: Orphan

TUMBLE: Ain't got no culture

OTHER CATS: Man

TUMBLE: Ain't got no friends

OTHER CATS: Lucky

TUMBLE: Ain't got no schoolin'

OTHER CATS: Dumb

TUMBLE: Ain't got no shine

OTHER CATS: Bad

TUMBLE: Ain't got no underwear

OTHER CATS: Dirty

SKIMBLE: Of course, that last line is inoperative, since all cats are naked...

TUMBLE: Ain't got no soap

OTHER CATS: Dirty

TUMBLE: Ain't got no A-Train

OTHER CATS: Jump

TUMBLE: Ain't got no mind

OTHER CATS: Our director's lost it!

MATT: WHERE IS THAT IN THE SCRIPT??? Oy....

(Another hippie, Demionne, joins in the song)

DEM: Ain't got no smokes

OTHER CATS: Cripes

DEM: Ain't got no job

OTHER CATS: Lazy

DEM: Ain't got no work

OTHER CATS: Fine

DEM: Ain't got no coins

OTHER CATS: Broke

DEM: Ain't got no pennies

OTHER CATS: Beg

DEM: Ain't got no tom

OTHER CATS: In heat

DEM: Ain't got no ticket

OTHER CATS: Hustle

DEM: Ain't got no token

OTHER CATS: Walk

DEM: Ain't got no god

OTHER CATS: GOOD!

JENNYANYDOTS: And Matt ain't got no sanity...so we're all even!

MATT: JENNY, PLEASE?! I've got enough problems.....just get ready for the next scene!

(We are introduced to a politically active college queen, Sheilurina Franklin, but soon after, Claude's mother then comes out and starts giving her son the whole "no morals" bit because he wants to hang out with his hippie friends...something we have probably all dealt with at one point or another...)

JENNY: 1968! What have ya got, 1968? May I ask? What the heck you got, 1968, that makes you so superior?

MUNKU: Well, if ya really wanna know, 1948...

MATT: And this is one of my favorite songs from this show, so please, Munkustrap, DO NOT GOOF THIS UP!

JULIE: Relax! They're actually pulling it off...you wouldn't know by looking that they were all high on catnip!

(Pouncival staggers by, playing air guitar and humming something tuneless)

JULIE: Er, maybe I spoke too soon.

MUNKU: (sings) I got life, mother

I got laughs, sister

I got freedom, brother

I got good times, man

I got crazy ways, daughter

I got million dollar charm, cousin

I got headaches and toothaches and bad times too

Liiiiiike you!

(The music picks up, and the cats start dancing weirdly in time to it)

I got my fur, I got my head, I got my brains, I got my ears

I got my eyes, I got my nose, I got my mouth, I got my teeth!

I got my tongue, I got my chin, I got my neck, I got my ruff

I got my heart, I got my soul, I got my back, I got my tail!

I got my stripes, I got my mane, I got my front and my hind legs

I got my feet, I got my claws, I got my liver, got my blood.

(He reprises everything he just sang, then goes for the big finish)

I got my guts

OTHER CATS: I got my guts

MUNKU: I got my muscles

OTHER CATS: Muscles

MUNKU: I got life!

OTHER CATS: Life!

MUNKU: Life!

OTHER CATS: Life!

MUNKU: Life!

OTHER CATS: Life!

MUNKU: Life!

OTHER CATS: Life!

ALL: LIIIIIIIIIIIFE!!!!!!

(Well, after that big production number...Tugger gets thrown out of high school while one of the other hippies, Jeanteazer, admits she is expecting kittens but has a thing for Claude...)

MUNGOJERRIE: Aooowww, and 'ere I thought it wos me ya loved!

(...and she "Air"s out her dirty laundry, by singing a song about the air...why, I don't know.)

OLD D: Probably because back then everyone was so stoned no one even knew what their own name was, let alone what they were singing about...

(...but anyway, it's a cute song, so we're including it!)

RUMPLE: Welcome, sulphur dioxoide

'Ello, carbon monoxoide

The air, the air, is everywhere!

Breathe deep, whoile ya sleep, breathe deep

Bless you, alco'ol bloodstream

POUNCE: That reminds me...I could use some liquor to go with the catnip...(stumbles over to Admetus) Hey Admetus, buddy...think you could go to the liquor store and get us a booze-up?

ADMETUS: Uh-uh! You don't need it!

RUMPLE: (continues) Saive me, nicotine lung-steam

Incense, incense is in the air

Breathe deep, whoile ya sleep, breathe deep!

Deep, deep, d-deep! *coughs*

'Ey, 'oo's the one smaokin' the catnip? You're aonly suppaosed to in'ale!

(It turns out to be ALL the cats...apparently Ripple brought some more of her secret stash out. While they're tripping on catnip, they all sing...)

ALL: LBJ took the IRT down to 4th Street USA

When he got there, what did he see?

The cats of America on LSD!

TOMS: LBJ

QUEENS: IRT

TOMS: USA

QUEENS: LSD

TOMS: LSD

QUEENS: LBJ

TOMS: FBI

QUEENS: CIA

ALL: FBI, CIA, LSD, L..B...J!!!!!

VICKY: Wow. Maybe I shouldn't wish I had been around in the 60's. This whole play has songs that don't make sense.

PLATO: Sheesh, the spirit of the 60's is still here. We're cats, so we pretty much keep the "free love" thing alive.

VERONI: (walks in, afraid to even ASK what's been going on and puts in an HTML break before the High as a Kite cats can say anything else)