(Macavity approaches Old Deuteronomy, with Ripple still practically attached to his hind leg.)

MAC: Old Deuteronomy, I know I normally should be kidnapping you, but I got a bit of a problem and you're my last hope in helping me solve it.

OLD D: What is it?

MAC: (motions to Ripple) A certain calico kitty who won't get off my hind leg! How do I get her off my case?

OLD D: Let me handle this...(to Ripple) Come now, child. You don't want to fall in love with a cat like Macavity...

RIPPLE: (looks at Old D) The heck I don't! You look like Jerry Garcia...AND I LOVE THE GRATEFUL DEAD! You're GORGEOUS! (latches on to Old D)

OLD D: Eep.

MAC: Thanks, Old D! Now she's YOUR problem!

OLD D: (sarcastically) Gee, thanks, Mac, I owe you big time. (rolls eyes)

(But back to the parody at hand! After a brief musical interlude, we find out that Claude has been drafted, and he gets rid of some of his prize possessions...including a picture of Mick Jagger, which he gives to Mistwoofolees...and Mistwoofolees loves it and talks suggestively to it...)

MISTO: Okee, that's it. Next time I say I'll play a part, I'll RESEARCH it! First my song gets cut, now THIS? I'll never live it down!

(...and we go to another day in the life of the hippies. They sing a song about black and white toms which we'll skip...but needless to say, Tugger comes along and starts passing out the catnip, and soon the other cats are walking in space...)

RUMPUS: Song cue if I ever heard one.

JULIE: And since Betty Buckley sang this song in the film version of "Hair", we'll be hearing the whole thing, and guess who'll be singing it!

(Griz comes back out, and now she's wearing a tie-dyed dress)

GRIZ: (sings) Doors locked

OTHER CATS: Doors locked

GRIZ: Blinds pulled

OTHER CATS: Blinds pulled

GRIZ: Lights low

OTHER CATS: Lights low

GRIZ: Flames high

OTHER CATS: Flames high

GRIZ: My body

OTHER CATS: My body

GRIZ: My body, my body

OTHER CATS: My body

GRIZ: My body

My body is walking in space

My soul is in orbit with the Everlasting Cat face to face

Floating, flipping, flying, tripping

Tripping from Potsville to Starlight

RUMPUS: Right about now, wouldn't Tumblebrutus be singing the title song from "Starlight Meows"?

MATT: Yeah, but he's so high right now I bet he doesn't even know his own name.

GRIZ: Tripping from Starlight to Moonville

On a rocket to the Fourth Dimension

Total self-awareness, the intention

My mind is as clear as country air

I feel my fur, all colors mesh

Red, black, blue, brown,

Yellow, crimson, green, orange

TUMBLE: Oh wow, man, the colors, the colors...

GRIZ: Purple, pink, violet, white

White, white, white, white, white, white...

POUNCE: Oh man, I see the whiteness!

RUMPUS: Actually, that's Victoria's tail in your face.

JELLY: Yeah, she's so high on the catnip that she fell asleep.

OTHER CATS: (who now notice this) Awwwwww. How cute...

GRIZ: (continues) All the clouds are cumuloft, walking in space

Oh my Everlasting Cat, your fur is soft, I love your face

How dare they try to end this beauty?

How dare they try to end this beauty?

To keep us under foot, they bury us in soot

Pretending it's a chore, to ship us off to war

In this dive we rediscover sensation

In this dive we rediscover sensation

MUNGO: Aooowww, Oi can taiste me sensaitions! Oi'm trippin' ooouuut!

GRIZ: Walking in space, we find the purpose of peace

The beauty of life, you can no longer hide

Our eyes are open, our eyes are open

Our eyes are open, our eyes are open

Wide! Wide! Wide!

(Juliet applauds, since she's one of the few who isn't too nipped to do so. Griz just likes hearing the applause, she doesn't care how many are applauding...so we move on, and we get a first-hand look at what Claude sees when he trips out...he sees cats dressed as General George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, John Wilkes Booth, Ulysses S. Grant, Calvin Coolidge, and Scarlett O'Hara fighting a war against Native Americans...then a group of cats led by Hudlebrutus, dressed as African warriors, "kills" everyone except Mr. Lincoln, and they begin to sing...BTW, the African warrior cats are played by Tumblebrutus, Alonzo, Asparagus Jr., the Rumpus Cat, and a few of Cass's relatives...and they pay their homage to Mr. Lincoln...)

ALONZO: Yes...I's finished on y'all farmland with your boll weevils and all and pluckin' y'all's chickens, fryin' Mother's oats in grease...I's free now thanks to your Mr. Lincoln, emancipator of the slaves...

TUMBLE: Yeah Yeah Yeah

Emanci-mother...

JELLY: TUMBLEBRUTUS!!!! Watch your mouth!!!

MATT: Tumblebrutus, do you really want to see me get hacked to bits by Veroni for blowing our PG rating?!

TUMBLE: Uh, whatever, man.

(So this song segues into a commentary about the war in Vietnam...which we'll skip because the lyrics to THAT song would REALLY blow a PG rating and Veroni would have a hissy-fit, so we'll go to the song they sing that signals the end of their trip, with lyrics by Shakespeare...)

OLD D: (still trying to pry Ripple off of him) So in other words, James Rado and Gerome Ragni basically set a poet's words to music, like what Andrew Lloyd Webber did with us?

MATT: Precisely.

MISTO: Will you let me sing?

(sings) What a piece of work is cat

How noble in reason

How infinite in faculties

In form and moving

How express and admirable

In action, how like an angel

In apprehension how like a god

The beauty of the world

The paragon of animals

VICKY: I hope all the dog lovers out there are hearing this!

(Old Deuteronomy takes up the melody...)

OLD D: I have of late

But wherefore I know not

Lost all my mirth

This goodly frame

The earth

Seems to me a sterile promontory

MISTO AND OLD D: This most excellent canopy

The air--look you!

This brave o'erhanging firmament

This majestical roof

Fretted with golden fire

Why it appears no other thing to me

Than a foul and pestilent congregation

Of vapors

What a piece of work is cat

How noble in reason...

(So to make an already long act short, there's another discussion between Tugger and Claude about what they plan to do with their lives...and then they bring out a bed and sleep under the Jellicle moon....and Claude gets Sheilurina to go to bed with him...but not before she sings...)

BOMB: Good Morning, Starshine

The earth says hello

You twinkle above us

We twinkle below...

Good Morning Starshine,

You lead us along

My tom and me as we sing

Our early mornin' singin' song...

(It goes on like this, and some of the lyrics make no sense, so we'll just cut to the final scene...)

ALL: THANK THE EVERLASTING CAT!

(Claude wakes up, and appears before a very dramatic and harsh light...at least he did until Fortune, who was in the lighting booth, screwed something up and the light ended up nearly blinding him. Once she got everything back to normal, the dramatic moment was spoiled. The rest of the hippies call for Claude, but he's nowhere to be found...until he appears before them in an Army uniform...)

MUNKU: Jeez, you really don't give us enough time to do quick changes.

MATT: Just say your lines...

MUNKU: (to his friends, who don't see him) I'm right here. Like it or not, they got me.

(...and sings Manchester, England one last time...)

POUNCE: And that's it and we can get more catnip?

MATT: Nope! There's the big finale!

POUNCE: Oh wow, man...

ALL: (sing) LET THE SUNSHINE

LET THE SUNSHINE IN

THE SUNSHINE IN...

LEEEET THE SUNSHINE

LEEEET THE SUNSHINE IN

THE SUUUUNSHINE IIIIN...

LEEET THE SUNSHINE

BOMB: LET THE SUNSHINE..

ALL: LET THE SUNSHINE IN

THE SUNSHINE IN...

LET THE SUNSHINE...

MUNKU: LET IT SHIIIIINE!

ALL: LET THE SUNSHINE IN

THE SUNSHINE IN...

LET THE SUNSHINE!

TUGGER: OOOOWWWWWW...

ALL: LET THE SUNSHINE IN

THE SUNSHINE IN...

LET THE SUNSHINE...

GRIZ: LET IT IIIIN...

ALL: LET THE SUNSHINE

THE SUNSHINE IN...

JULIE: Matt, this song really doesn't have an ending, does it?

MATT: Nope.

OLD D: I'LL SOLVE THAT!

(he raises his front legs, and the other cats turn to him...)

OLD D: SOOOO THIS IS THIS AND THAT IS THAT

ALL: AND THERE'S HOW YOU AD-DRESS A CAT!!!!!

MATT: Okay, what the heck was THAT?

OLD D: You needed an ending. That's the only ending I know how to do.

VICKY: (just waking up, after yawning, stretching, and cleaning herself) What did I miss?

MUNGO: Basically, ya roight missed the second 'alf of a VERY bizarre parody.

VICKY: Oh. So I missed nothing out of the ordinary.

RUMPLE: Well...ya did miss one thing...

(Ripple walks by, clinging to Old Deuteronomy)

RIPPLE: So...ya knaow "Casey Jones" or "Truckin'"?

OLD D: For the last time...I AM NOT JERRY GARCIA!!!

*THE END*

VERONI: (looks at the rather large collection of stoned kitties milling about) Oh lord. This is PERFECT! Just PERFECT!

POUNCE: (skipping around with a tablecloth tied around his waist) LEEET THE SUNSHINE....

VERONI: What was that?

POUNCE: (bounces around and puts a lampshade on his head) LEEEEEET THE SUUUUUNSHINE....

VERONI: Hmmmmmm. I think I may need to go have a talk with Matt...

Bustopher, Cori, Munku and Skimble: (singing from "But Mr. Adams" in 1776) HOMICIDE!!

HOMICIDE!!

We may see murder YEEEEEET!!!

VERONI: Funny.