Cori: She threatened it and she finally did it.
Bomb: What?! Why?! How?!
Skimble: Three excellent questions.
Veroni: Let's hustle cats! We've been away from this thing for entirely too long.
Tugger: Does this half go any faster than the first?
Veroni: It's faster-- but if you keep babbling it could be EVEN LONGER!
Cats: Eeep!
SCENE 8
The curtain rises on our long awaited Act 2. Reb Munkevye shows up once more to greet us and fill us in on what's happened in the past few months, (both in the story's time line and in real time!).
"Mistotel and Tzeitalurina have been married for two months now and have a child...." Munkevye begins.
Tanti: Hold the phone! doesn't it take like, nine months for a kid to be ahem, made?
Veroni: I'm quoting directly from the script---- hee hee! They screwed up!
Tugger: Or those two were busy before they even asked to be married.
Veroni: I quote Cetera-- "Gutter Brain!"
"They are as poor as can be, but they are so happy, they have no idea how miserable they are!" Munkevye says and then goes about his dairycat duties as the curtain rises on our two other lovebirds-- Demdel and Corchick.
"Please don't be upset, Demdel!" Corchick yelled as Demdel plowed onto the stage and sat down in one rather large hissy fit.
Tugger: I'd say it's a bit late for that.
"If you must leave *one really large stage sob* You must! Goodbye!" Demdel said in her customary over-acting thing. Corchick comforts her and then looks really lost.
"Sweetie... I haven't looked at the script in months so I can't remember what I'm supposed to say next, but I remember enough to ask... "Will you marry me?"."
"SURE! But you're going away... how the heck do we manage a long-distance marriage?" Demdel said with concern.
"We'll---- um... Think of something! For now, just let me sing."
Veroni: You notice how it's been months and we still have this thing for revising whenever the heck we feel like it?
Cori:
I used to tell myself that I had everything
But that was only half true.
I had an aim in life, and that was everything,
But now I even have you!
I have...
Something that I would die for
Something that I can live for too!
Yes now I have everything!
But only everything....
I have a little bit more.
Besides having everything, I know what everything's for!
They hug and kiss and all that jazz until Munkevye arrives. We have another scene where poppa has to think about another daughter breaking tradition that we'll skip cuz after awhile they all seem the same. He agrees to let them marry at long last and then and only then does he remember once more his lovely stormcloud of a wife who'll have a real yen to hurt him when she finds out what he's done this time. He calls her out from the house and they have a heart to heart...
"I'll kill you!" Jelly screamed as she chased Munkevye around the house with a rolling pin.
Munku: OUCH! Jelly! Not so *realistic*, huh?
Veroni: We need to keep him in one piece until this fic is over.
Munku: (hiding behind Veroni) Yeah!
Veroni: (walks away to her director's chair) THEN you can kill him.
Munku: HEY!
Somehow or other, our two leads sit down to discuss this as rash adults would.
"Oooooo if I could reach you right now!" Jelda screetched from her position-- tied to a chair.
"Jelda..." Munkevye decided to try following the script again. (singing)
Do you love me?
Jelly: What?
Munku:
Do you love me?
Jelly: I'm tied to a chair... whaddya think?
Munku: Okay, bad. But.... (singing again)
Do you love me?
Jelly:
(Weather or not I like it) I'm your wife!
Munku:
Then you love me!
Jelly:
I suppose I have to.
Munku:
And I suppose I have to, too....
Both:
It doesn't change a thing,
But even so, (make it sound VERY sweet here)
We had to sing!
Veroni: That was SUPPOSED to be a sentimental moment.
Jelly: Do I look like I CARE???!!!! UNTIE ME!!!!!!
Pounce: Boy, that's not an act is it?
Jelly: You're lucky I'm tied up.
SCENE 9
Back in the villiage, the Matchmaker is spreading rumors and gossip--
Jenny: I'm the original Tabloid!
Eventually through a really cute song, everyone in the villiage finds out that Corchick has been arrested... or something resembling that story. It's kinda like a bad game of telephone.. the end product is something like this...
Alonzo:
Listen! Terrible news!
Remember Corchick? Who started all the trouble?
Cats: YES?!
Alonzo:
Well I've been told by someone who should know...
That Jelda's been arrested,
Demdel's gone to Kiev,
Mistotel studies dancing,
Munkevye's acting strange,
Cetza has the measles,
Bielctra has the mumps!
Jenny:
And that's what comes from Toms and Quee-eens...
Singing.
Vicky: WHOA! Brain overload.
SCENE 10
Meantime, Demdel has decided she has to go join her lover in Kiev.. leaving her family and friends here in the home she loves....
Dem: You're song segues haven't gotten any better either...
Dem:
OH! What a melancholy choice this is!
Wanting home...
Wanting him....
Closing my heart to every hope but his,
Leaving the home I love.
Yet.. there with my love
I-----IIIIIEEEE--'M HO-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-OME....
The two bid a tearful farewell to each other and Demdel boards the train for Kiev.
Queens: *sobbing uncontrollably*
Toms except for Pounce, who is sobbing along: *GAG!*
Misto: Sissy.
Pounce: *snif* That was beautiful!
SCENE 11
Munkevye is torn up by the departure of his middle child, and is still in mourning when Rumpava comes to him with the Russian soldier, Mungoyedka.
Mungo: Oi'm gettin' thrown inta this rather loiate, eh?
Veroni: I realized I hadn't even mentioned Fyedka.. be a good kitty and stand in, huh?
She has fallen in love with the Russian and ran off to marry him. Since this is technically illegal according to Jellicle tradition, he is forced to disown her. She cries bitterly in a scene that you may want to put in some earplugs for....
"NO RUMPAVA!" Munkevye reached for his milkcart and trudged off.
"Papa!! Papa!!! PAPA!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" Rumpava wailed at being disowned.
Tant: Sheesh. Easy on the ears! They're the only one's I've got.
Rumple: Sorry 'bout dat.
Munkevye sings a sweet little song as the curtain closes....
Munku:
Little bird...
Little Rumpavala...
You were always such a pretty little thing...
Everybody's favorite child.
Gentle and kind and affectionate
What a sweet little bird you were Rumpavala....
Rumple: Oi ain't no bird!
Veroni: Well, since using the name Rumpava really throws off the whole beat of the song anyways.. let's go on.
SCENE 12
There is a large commotion in the village. Word has come that the Russians have been given orders to empty Catatevka of it's Jellicles in three days time. Macavity has come in inform the Jellicles and Munkevye faces him.
"Get off my land!" Munkevye bellowed, still heart-broken, but managing okay.
"YOU HAVE THREE DAYS!" Macavity yelled and departed from them.
The Jellicles began to toy with the idea of starting a revolution like in Les Mis, but decided that they first of all-- valued their health, and second of all, wanted this fic to be over with sooner and a revolution would just take up more HTML doc. They don't want to go away empty pawed however, and decide to sing (yet another) heart-breaking song to fill in the void.
All:
Catatevka... Catatevka
Intimate, Obstinate,
Catatevka.
Dear little villiage, little town...
Of, mine.
They depart sobbing with their luggage and children in tow. Munkevye boards up his house and begins to leave with his (remaining) family and worldly posessions.
Cet: Depression is setting in.....
Lec: All the fics done today have been depressing, Veroni! Jellicle & Hyde, (everyone croaks), Little Junkyard of Horrors,
(everyone's eaten) and THIS (everyone has to leave).
Tugger: Family entertainment is hard to come by these days without someone dying, being eaten or evacuating.
Welcome to the 90's... just in time for it to become... hey V? What will the slang be once we hit the big Y2K?
Veroni: Easy! It'll be.... um, it'll be....
Misto: You're so close to being done, V! Don't stop now!
As the villiagers leave, Munkevye turns to hear the kazoo player from before playing again, minus the roof. He waves for her to come along and the picture fades to THE END. As everything goes to black, we hear Reb Munkevye ask the kazoo player a question...
"If this is the 90's... what will it be when we hit Y2K?"
Vicky: Oh puh-LEASE!
Veroni: It's a good question... but I don't have time to think about that right now. Gotta go take in a flick.
Asparagus: Flick?
Veroni: Movie? Sheesh!
Bomb: Okay.. I'll just be over here checkin' to make sure everyone's brain is Y2K compliant.
Veroni: What'll happen if they're not?
Bomb: Come January 1st, we'll all revert to a state of sanity.
Cats: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!! THE HUMANITY! OR IS THAT CAT-ITY?? NEVER
MIND!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
Leave this Place and Prepare for Y2K! Guaranteed scarier than anything fic you'll find here!
