JEMI: Veroni looks excited.

POUNCE: Well, we know it's not because this thing is almost over. She gets misty everytime we finish a parody.

MUNKU: Hey! I do too!

TUMBLE: YOU?

MUNKU: Yeah, after all the suffering I've been through in a parody, I can't help but cry.

CATS: (all nod in agreement)

VERONI: Oooooooooo!!!!! ME FAV SONG IS NEXT!!!

MUNKU: Thought your favorite song was "So In Love"?

VERONI: I have many favorites. So sue me. At any rate, where are Mac and Mungo?

JELLY: Taking a last tap dance session. After Bustopher's disasterous attempt at dancing I wanted to make sure that in the future all cats performing in a parody have proper training.

VERONI: But Mungo's a great dancer!

JELLY: It's Macavity I'm worried about.

JEMI: Yeah, all he usually has to do is stand around and go "BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"

MAC: Not a bad likeness, Jem. Take it more from the chest next time.

VERONI: You two ready?

MUNGO: We'ya "STOKE"D!

VERONI: Ooooh. Inside joke. Gotta love it.

(Our gangster buddies inform Fred that "his" debt has been nullified since the big boss is currently six feet under. Fred is too depressed to really care and heads off to prepare for the finale with Jenni's understudy.)

MAC: Ah, he's depressed. His doll took a powder. Rotten shame.

MUNGO: Yeah. She 'ad breedin'... an' culcha'.

MAC: She was a real classy broa-- (gets 'the look' from offstage) queen.

MUNGO: Jest 'member what de immortal Bard once said: "All da woild's a stage. An' da men an' women? Meerly playas." Unquote.

MAC: And remember this....

BOTH: (sing) The queens taday in society go for classical poetry

So ta win their hearts one must quote with ease

Aeschylus and Euripides.

MUNGO: One must knaow Homa' and b'lieve me, bo,

BOTH: Sophocles, also Sappho-ha.

MAC: Unless ya know Shelley,

MUNGO:--- and Keats

MAC: ---and Pope,

BOTH: Dainty debbies will call you adope.

MUNGO: But da poet of dem all

MAC: Who will start 'em simply ravin'

MUNGO: Is da poet all cats call

BOTH: "Da bard of Stratford-on-Avon"!

POUNCE: Avon? I had a few of those Avon-queens come to my box once. I wound up buying a bunch of soap that I never WILL use. I mean, tell me, who in their right mind needs soaps in the shape of every planet known to man?

VERONI: (fuming)

TUMBLE: You picked a bad song to interrupt my friend.

POUNCE: Run?

TUMBLE: And how!

(Veroni chases them into a closet and locks the door)

BOTH: (slightly ticked off) Brush UP your Shakespeare

Start quoting him now

Brush up your Shakespeare and da queenies you will wow.

MAC: Just declaim a few lines from "Othella"

And they'll think you're a heck of a fella!

MUNGO: If ya blonde won't respond when ya flatta 'er,

Tell 'er what Tony told Cleopaterer!

MAC: If she fights when her clothes you are mussing,

BOTH: What are clothes? "Much ado about Nussing"!

Brush UP your Shakespeare and dey'll all kowtow!

(They start moving around the stage)

BOTH: Brush UP your Shakespeare,

Start quoting him now

Brush UP your Shakespeare and the queenies you will wow!

MUNGO: Wit da wife o' da Brittish embessida

Try a crack outta "Troilus and Cressida"

MAC: If she says she won't buy it or take it,

Make 'er take it once more "As You Like It"!

BOTH: If she says your behavior is heinous,

Kick her right in the "Coriolanus"

Brush UP your Shakespeare and they'll all kowtow!

(Music stops for a moment and the cats begin to applaud)

BOTH: (sing again) Brush UP your Shakespeare!

Start quoting him now

Brush UP your Shakespeare

And da queenies you will wow.

JEMI: I thought they were done!

VERONI: Ah, the art of fake endings. Gets 'em everytime.

MAC: If yer gal is a Washington Heights dream,

Treat the kid to "A Midsummer's Night's Dream".

MUNGO: If she den, wants an all-boi-herself noight,

Let 'er rest ev'ry 'leventh or "Twelfth Noight"

BOTH: If because of your heat she gets huffy

Simply play on and "Lay on, Macduffy!"

Brush UP your Shakespeare, and they'll all kowtow!

MAC: Forsooth!

BOTH: And they'll all kowtow!

MUNGO: Thoinkst thou?

BOTH: And they'll all kowtow!

We trou!

And they'll AAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLL KOOOOOOOWTOOOOOOOW!!!!

VERONI: (jumps out of the director's chair) WHOO-HOO!!!!! (whistles)

CATS: (stand up and applaud)

VERONI: Standing ovation! Great job you two!

MUNGO: Wow! A standin' O!

JEMI: (whispers to Veroni) Should I tell him that you and I put something on each seat in the theater so they COULDN'T sit back down?

VERONI: (whispers back) SHHHHHHH!!!! (voice back up to full volume) Time for the finale!

(Some very Shakespearean music strikes up and we are at Deutiste's house.....)

OLD D: Senor Petruchio and my daughter Caterine!

(Only Munkustrap walks out)

OLD D: Where is my daughter? (drops character, whispers) Fred??!! Where's Jenni?

MUNKU: (whispers) Right about now she should be flying over Newark.

OLD D: (improvises) Where is the maiden? (calls out to a servant) YOU! (Alonzo comes out onstage) Go thee to mistress Caterine and command her to come to me at once!

MUNKU: I know that she will not come. A fouler fortune mine and there an end. (whispers to Old D) Leccy's going on.

LEC: I AM???? AHHH!! Someone get me a script! WARDROBE!! (rushes off to the stage, but is held in place by Veroni's hind paw on her tail)

VERONI: Your name fit the script. But you don't ever have to appear onstage.... Now hush!!

OLD D: (struggling to come up with anything) Servant!! Where is my daughter?

MUNKU: (walks offstage) Where's Leccy?

GUS: I don't know! She WAS dressed.

JENNY: (walks out onstage) What is thy will sir?

MUNKU: (spins around, can't believe his eyes)

JENNY: (repeats) What is thy will, sir that you send for me?

MUNKU: (comes back onstage, gawking)

JENNY: (whispers) That's your cue, Fred. (raises her voice) What is thy will sir?

MUNKU: Kate, I charge thee, tell these headstrong women what duty they do own their lords and husbands.

JENNY: (sings, calmly) I am ashamed that queens are so simple.

To offer war where they should kneel for peace.

Or seek for rule, supremacy and sway,

When they are bound to serve, love, and obey

CATS: (jaws hanging open) Is that Jennyanydots out there?

JELLY: I think I'm going to faint.

JENNY: Why are our bodies soft and weak and smooth?

Unapt to toil and trouble in the world.

But that our soft conditions and our hearts,

Should well agree with our external parts.

So wife, hold you temper and meekly put

Your paw 'neath the sole of your husband's foot

In token of which duty, if he please

My paw is ready.... READY.... May it do him ease. (winks at the audience)

CORI: I knew it. She was putting all that on!

TANTI: But she's learned how to give Fred exactly what he wants, without completely giving in herself, so we've got 'em together with little bloodshed. Which calls for a major cheer from me. If I have to patch up one more injury in this parody....

JENNY: (mouths to him) Fred?

MUNKU: (whispers back) Jenni! (back in character) Now there's a wench! COME ON AND KISS ME, CAT! (scoops her up into his arms and carries her around the stage)

(sings) So kiss me, Cat!!

JENNY: Caro!

MUNKU: And twice and thrice!

JENNY: Carrissimo!

MUNKU: Ere we start----

JENNY: Bello!

MUNKU: Living in paradise!

JENNY: Bellissimo!

MUNKU & ENSAMBLE: So kiss me, Cat! Darling, angel devine!

MUNKU: For now thou shalt ever be

JENNY: Now thou shalt ever be

MUNKU & MALES: Now thou shalt ever be

JENNY & FEMALES: Now thou shalt ever be

MUNKU: Mine!

JENNY: Mine!

BOTH: Darling, mine!

And I am thine and I am AALLLLLLL.....

ENSAMBLE: (at the same time) And she is thine and she is AALLLLLLL....

ALL: THI-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-INE!!!!

VERONI: Good job one and all! (applauds)

JENNY: Set me down NOW Munkustrap!

MUNKU: (drops her like a sack of potatoes) Alright! Alright!

(Everyone gasps and prepares to run for it as Jenny hits the floor)

JENNY: (looks like she's about to explode, but bites her tongue and stands with a chuckle) Wonderful show all of you! We must have a cast party over at my house!

CATS: (stare in disbelief)

JENNY: Well, don't just stand there! Make haste! Make haste!

(All the cats scamper off for the cast party)

VERONI: Jenny. What a turn around!

JENNY: Don't bet that I've changed too much, Ms. Veronikitty!! I just know when to hold my tongue now.... to keep the toms happy. The less they whine, the faster these parodies can go!

VERONI: (stands there shaking her head as Jenny leaves) Well, some things will never change.