(Down in a dark cellar, Graymaulkin was busy building a maze and keeping an eye on her cast)
Gray: Tugger, have you got those pants on yet?
Tugger: Are you kidding? I think David Bowie had to stave himself for a month before he got in these things! How can I
get them on?
Gray: Wet down your fur and then slid them on, easy! (A huge crash was heard and a lot of shouting followed) What's
going on now?
Pounce: I want to be the head!
Alonzo: No way! I'm being the head!
Gray: Look guys you can't both be Lodo's head! Pounce your way to heavy for Alonzo to carry so you have to be the legs.
Pounce: I'm NOT that heavy.
Munkus: Gray do we really have to do this?
Gray: Yes for two reasons. One because I am a big fan of Labyrinth, Two because I said so. SO let's get this show on the
road. BOMBALURINA your on.
Bomb: This is so not me!
(the scene is in a park were a little red cat with flowers in her fur comes in.)
Bomb: Though dangers untold, and hardships unnumbered, I have...... God this character is so
deem.
Gray: BOMB!
Bomb: o.k......I
Gray: Bomb, this is a U ratting, so watch your mouth.
Bomb enters her home (o.k it's a cardboard box) were she is greeted by her step mother Grizabella.
Griz : Thank the everlasting cat this is the only thing I'm doing in this parody.
Gray: don't go anywhere Griz, we may need you as an extra in the battle.
Griz: Darn. Knew it was to good to be true.
Bomb: Get on with it, I want to get these flowers out of my fur.
Griz: Why are you late?
Bomb: I am sorry.
Griz : It just that---
Bomb: I said I was sorry.
Griz : It's just that me and your father have very little time to go out and..
Bomb: You go out every weekend and I am always stuck baby-sitting!
( Bomb sulks up stairs to her room and no soon had her father and step mother gone, Macav----)
Gray: Where's Macavity?
Dem: Macavity not there.
Munkus : Wrong show Dem.
Mac: I don't wont to do this, I'm the hidden paw, you can't make me!
Gray: Stop whining, you'll make a great Tody. Now get the nappy on.
( Macavity starts crying, not quite realising that his sister is in a bad mood.)
Mac: WAH, WAH, WAH!
Bomb: Have to say this but Gray's right. You do make a good kitten, Mac.
Mac: Shut up.
Gray: Come on guys stay in character. Misto, Coricopat, Tantomile get ready.
(misto, corico, tanto in goblin outfits enter the stage)
Bomb: Come on stop crying, here I'll tell you a story. One day there was a young queen who was always made to stay at home and watch the kittens. But no one knew that the king of the goblins had fall in love with the girl and he had given her special powers. the goblins came night after night and offered to take the baby away, but the young girl knew that the king of the goblins would turn young kitten in to a goblin. So the queen remained silent until one day........she could take it no more.
Misto: Listen
Bomb: I wish.......
Misto: Listen she's going to say the words.
Bomb: ....I wish.....I wish....I wish this fic would end....
Coric: Say it.
Tanto: Did she say it yet?
Misto, Coric: SHUT UP!
Tanto: Excuse me for breathing
Bomb: I WISH THE GOBLINS WILL COME AND TAKE YOU A WAY RIGHT NOW.
Gray: Misto I need some lighting. Tugger you're on.
( After a loud bang and the smoke clears in comes Tugger with extremely tight pants and a really bad hair do)
Bomb: You're him ain't you? You're the Goblin king! What happened?
Tugger: Shut up I am having a bad fur day and these pants ain't helping.
Gray : Can we please get on with this?
Tugger: If you wont your brother back, you must journey thought the Labyrinth and get to the centre to my castle. You
have 13 hours to solve this, or your baby bother becomes one of us forever. Can I get out of these
pants now?
Gray: No you'll be needed in a minute to do your song and Dance number.
Tugger: Drat!
(Bomb enters the Labyrinth. with the help of Moggle the dwarf. actually it's Mungojerrie on his knees. he help her get in but won't go any further)
Bomb: Thanks for nothing Hoggle.
Mungo: me name's Moggle. Ain't don't try to tell any one I didn't warn ya.
(Bomb goes down a long stone hall finding no doors she bangs her fist on the wall)
Bomb: That hurt.
Rump: E'llo? What's wrong?
Bomb: You're a worm ain't you?
Rump: yeah, thats right! Now whats wrong?
Bomb: I need to get out of here!
Rump: Well, ya not looking right, there is a door right in front of ya. It's just that you can't see it.
Bomb: Like that makes sense. Where?
Rump: It's right there in front of you, things ain't what they seem around here,so ya ain't got to take them for granted!
(Bomb thanks Rump and go down the left wing.)
Rump: Don't go down that way!
Bomb: I beg your pardon?
Rump: I said don't go that way! Never go that way.
Bomb: Oh Thanks!
Rump: Well if she had carried on that way she would have gone straight to that castle.
(At the castle, Tugger is really bored so he sings to Mac who is really crying because he's got a nappy rash.)
Mac: HEY!
Gray: Sorry
Tugger: Can I do my song now?
Gray: Yes go on Tugger, Mac let Jenny have a look at you.
Tugger: I saw Macavity, crying hard as he could cry. What could I do?
Mac's Butt is red and he's hollowing like a loon, and nobody knew,
What kind of cream we have to use?
Dance magic, Dance magic ,Dance Magic,
Don't put that Macavity spell on me.
Jump magic, Jump magic, Jump magic.
Slap Macavity and make him scream.
I saw Macavity weeping as hard as he could weep.What could I do?
Mac's Butt is red and he's hollowing like a loon, and nobody knew,
What kind of cream we have to use?
Dance magic, Dance magic ,Dance Magic,
Don't put that Macavity spell on me.
Jump magic, Jump magic, Jump magic.
Slap Macavity and make him scream.
Gray: Tugger! those are not the words.
Tugger: I know, but it was funny.
Gray: I can't disagree with you there, just don't do it again. Now where were we?
Munkus: You were about to end this story!
Gray: Nice try Munkus, but no such luck! Now Bomb is still in the hole and lucky Moggle was there and with abit of
persuasion agreed to help.Unfortunately they bump in to Tugger who's in disguised
Tugger: Well, well, what have we here?
Mungo: Uh....nothing!
Tugger : Nothing... (pulls off disguise) NOTHING tal laa!
Mungo: Your majesty what a pleasant surprise.
Tugger: Hello Mogwort.!
Bomb: Moghog!
Mungo: Moggle!
Tugger: Moggle can it be your helping this young girl? Because if you are I would have to throw you in to the Bog of eternal stench.
Mungo: NO!
Tugger: And you Bomb, how are you enjoying my labyrinth?
Bomb: It's a piece of cake!
Tugger: It's a peice of cake is it? Well lets see how you handle this little slice.
(Tugger whistles and sets the cleaner after them. Truthfully it was Coricopat and Tantomile on a bike with spikes. They get out of the hole, Moggle tries to go back on his word to help her. Bomb has to steal Moggle's catnip to make him agree to stay and help her.)
Mungo: Hey I'm the thief here, not her.
Gray: You're a bad influence Mungo.
Mungo: says you.
Gray: Now shut up or I'll throw the lot of you in to the labyrinth and make sure that you can't get out until I've come up
with a new story.
Cats: AAAAAARRRRRHHHHH! We'll be good!
Gray: Right then lets start with Old D's entrance. Misto are you ready to be his head?
Misto: Must I? I have already been a goblin, I'm doing the special effects and ....
Gray: JUST DO IT!
(Old D comes on with a hat with a lead coming out to a loud speaker so Misto could be heard.)
Bomb: Can you help me?
Old D: I'll try. Now the only way forw..
Misto: I' wouldn't listen to this crap if I were you.
Gray: Misto, U ratting remember?
Misto: Sorry!
Old D: The only way forward is to go back.
Misto: Like that makes any sense!
Old D: (makes loud snoring sounds)
Misto: I am afraid thats your lot.
(Bomb and Moggle continue thought the maze until they hear a horrible cry. Moggle runs off. While Bomb rescues a big hairy beast called Alodo)
Alonzo: can we make it quick, it's really hot in this costume.
Pounce: And Alonzo's feet stink!
Alonzo : Hey I wear oda eaters.
Gray: come on guys your on.
(Bomb and Alodo come to to strange doors and go thought one of them)
Alonzo: Alodo scared!
Bomb : Take my hand then. Imagine a big thing like you getting scared! There is nothing to be afraid of!
Alonzo: I've got an idea that can keep us cool in this costume!
Gray: What?
Alonzo: You have a freezer haven't you? We'll use ice!
Gray: If you'll think that would work, but be quick your be on again in a little while.
Alonzo : Thank the everlasting Cat!
(Alodo disappears and Bomb gets attacked by the kittens, Jem sings a song about what and who they are.)
Jem: When the sun goes down, and the bads are back again.
The bothers come round, I get out of my dirty bed.
I shake my pretty little head, I tap my pretty little feet.
We are brighter than sunlight,louder than thunder, Dancing like a yo-yo.
Ain't got no problems, ain't got no suitcase.
Ain't got no clothes to worry about.
Ain't got no real estste or jewelry or gold mines binding me, yeah!
Chilly down with the fun gang, think small with the fun gang.
Bang hipswith the fun gang, When you think it's wild, chilly down .
Chilly down with the fun gang, think tall with the fun gang.
Good times, bad food. when you think it's wild ,chilly down, chilly down
Jem: My god what was that all about?
Gray: How should I know? It's just part of the film! In the mean time... Tugger, this seems to be the perfect time to do your
scene with Mungo. Tugger get your tight fitted butt over here.
(Tugger appears before Moggle)
Tugger: Where's the girl?
Moggle: uh.....Ah the little lady gives me the slip, and I was about to go and finds her.
Tugger: Wait! I've got something better. Give her this.
(Throws a catnip at him)
Moggle : What is it?
Tugger: a present! I want you to give it to Bomb.
Moggle: I wont do any thing to harm her.
Tugger: come come Hogbrain I am surprised at you losing your head over a queen.
Moggle: I ain't lost me head.
Tugger: If you don't give it to her I'll dip you in the bog of eternal stench. Now get going.
Jennyanydots: Bog of eternal stench. How does she think of these things?
Gray: Jenny puh-lease!
(Moggle runs and saves Bomb Form the Fun gang. She rewards him with a kiss. Tugger used his magic powers and sent them to the Bog of eternal stench,where they land on Alodo)
Bomb: This place smells.
Moggle: It's the bog of eternal stench, don't go ne'r it. You'll never get it o'f.
Alodo: Smell bad.
Bomb: I think I see a bridge, lets go!
(The only way out is to cross the bridge that is guarded by Sir Mudymus.)
Munkus: I feel like a right fool!
Gray: Oh I don't know I think you look kind of cute.
Dem: Gray and Munkustrap sitting in a tree, K.I.S.S...
Gray: Hey Demeter you wont to be in this?
Dem: Uh .....no it's o.k, I'v....got to help Macavity.
Mudymus: No one can pass this brigde with out my permission.
Bomb: Can we please have your permission then, We'll like to finsh this before tonight.
Mudymus : Well since you put it that way, go ahead.
Gray: Munkus your suppost to go with them.
Munks: Drat I hoped you wouldn't notice.
Gray: Fat chance.
( All most at the enterence of the goblin city, Moggle gives Bomb the Catnip and she falls in to a deep sleep. Moggle runs off ashamed of what he's done.)
Bomb: Mungo, you poisened me!
Mungo: Not for real!
Bomb: It tasted like it.
Tugger: Bomb can you just get over here? This is Gray's favourite part.
Gray: yeah so if either of you cox it up I'll send you both to the real Bog of Stench.
Tugger and Bomb: We'll be good.
Tugger: There such a sad love, deep in your eyes a kind of pale jewel.
I'll place the sky within your eyes.
As the pain sweeps through Makes no sence for you.
Ever thrill he's caused wasn't too much fun at all.
As the world falls down.
I'll paint you mornings of gold.
I'll spin you Valentine evenings, though we're stangers till now.
We're choosing the path between the stars.
I'll leave my love between the stars.
As the pain sweeps through makes no sence for you.
Ever thrill he's caused wasn't too much fun at all.
As the world falls down.
(Tugger and Bomb dance to his song untill Bomb relizes the time and runs off to save Macavity. Sir Mudymus and Alodo were waiting for her at the gates at the goblin city.)
Mudymus: I shall fight them all to the death.
Bomb: Sir Mudymus calm down and help us get inside.
Mudymus: Yes, my lady.
Alodo:Me open door!
Bomb: That was smart.
Gray: Bomb!
(they enter the court yard were they are attacked by a metal monster (really it's Plato in silver foil) Where all seems lost, here comes...)
Moggle: Moggle to the rescue.
Bomb: Moggle be careful!
(Moggle beats the metal monster and.....uh)
Gray: Um....Mungo you can stop now, you've beaten him.
Mungo: Ow but it was fun!
Plato: Says you!
Bomb: Thank you for saving us Moggle.
Moggle: I'don't ask to be no he'o. Tugger told me to gives you that catnip.
Bomb: I forgive you Moggle, but now we've got to get into the castle!
(others relising that she trying to spead things up and follow her lead. They think I haven't noticed, but I'll teach them a lesson at the end. ha ha ha)
Moggle: Oh no, Tugger called up all his goblins to stop us.
Mudymus: Oh right, lay dowm your weapons and I'll see that your well treated.
Bomb: Alodo call the rocks.
Gray: Everyone cover your ears!
Alodo: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Mac: I think I've gone deaf.
Gray: I did warn you!
( From Alodo's cry a buch of rolling stones came craching in to the city squishing any cat in there path.)
Misto: Aahh run for your lives!!
Jenny: I've had enough of this I'm going to bed! ( Stones follow her) AAAHH get out of my house.
( A stone hit the Rumpus Cat)
Rumpus: Something hit me! Yes...no?
Gray : It's o.k Rumpus go back to sleep.
Bomb: I have to go alone now guys! I'll miss you!
Mudymus: If that's the way it is good luck!
Gray: Munkustrap!
Alodo: Bye, Bye Bomby
Moggle: Yeah, and if ya need us..
Bomb: I'll call, thanks.
(Bomb enters the castle and enters a room with stairs that are upside down and they side many other ways. In the center
of it all is Tugger who was waiting.)
Bomb: Sorry, but Misto keept getting in the way!
Misto: HEY!
Gray: Can we please get on with it?!
Tugger: How you've turned my world you preciuos thing. Your starve and near exhaust me. Everthing I've done I've done
for you. I move the starts for noone. You run so long you run so far, your eyes can be so cruel, just as I can be so cruel.
Though, I do believe in you. Yes I do. Love without the sunlight. Love without your heart beat. I...I...I can't live within you.
Gray: Beautful Tugger now throw the crysital so Bomb can follow it to save Macavity. How are you
feeling Mac?
Mac: A bit sore and I.......
(Tugger throws the crysital and hits Mac on the head.)
Mac: AAHHH, Now I've got a headache.....I'll get you for this Tugger.
Tugger: Sorry Mac, wasn't looking.
Gray: FOR GOODNESS SAKE, GET ON WITH IT!
Mac: Wah, Wah,Wah.
Bomb: I'm coming Tody. (with a great leap of faith she jumps off the edge of the stair case and lands on Munkustrap)
Munkus: BOMB GET OFF ME YOU WEIGH A TON.
Gray: Some one get me the pain killers.
(ending scene. Tugger cames before Bomb dressed all in white, still in tight pants and he's finally done something with
his hair and decides to give her her dreams.)
Bomb: I thought you said this was a U rating!
Gray: It is!
Bomb: Well if Tugger is going to grant me my dreams, you better change this to a 15.
Gray: BOMB, Get on with it, I do have homework to do.
Jenny: You should have done it before you started this young lady.
Tugger: Bomb look what I am offering you, your dreams!
Bomb: Through dangers untold and hardships unnumbered, I have fought my way here.....This
sounds familiar.
Gray: You did it at the begining of the story now move it!
Bomb: To the castle beyond the goblin city to take back the child that you have stolen,
For my will is as strong as you's and my kingdom is great.....
Tugger: I ask for so little just let me rule you and you can have everthing that you want.
Bomb: For you have no power over me.
(Tugger gives a scream and everthing turns to the way it was)
Tugger: GET ME OUT OF THESE PANTS!
Bomb: I'll help you Tugger.
Elec: No I'll will.
Victoria: No I will.
Tugger: It's o.k girls Mac, said he'll help me.
(Girls go off in a sulk while Macavity cuts Tugger out of the pants)
Munk: Looks like we finshed early. Veroni won't be here for another hour.
Gray: Didn't you learn anything from this? Don't ever say things they may just come true. In fact, I've got a new idea for a
spoof.
Cats:NNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOO!
Standard Disclaimer: No profit has been made in the creation of this parody. It's meant for pure enjoyment by the readers
and we are not infringing on any copywrite laws... PROMISE!
This fic is © Graymaulkin
