VERONI: And if you don't cool your "interpretation", what you'll be experiencing is called UNEMPLOYMENT.

(After that unexpected trip into the hot and steamy..... let's change the scene to where Munk and Vicita are taking some time off for a swim in the diving horse tank. Nice, cool and relaxing---)

BOMB: And semi-nude Munkustrap! WHEE!

JEMI: Guess Bomb hasn't QUITE come down from her song yet, huh?

VERONI: (rubs her head and reaches for the asprin)

(But first, some background. Mack has planned for Munk and his wife to fall in love and get "married"--- great publicity, he explains. A marriage on the dance floor will win them those all-important ratings. He also plans to have a quick post-marriage divorce between the two-- even better. But unbeknownst to him, the two really ARE falling in love. This is why we suddenly find our leads down swimming in the horse diving tank, in case you were starting to wonder about their mental health.)

VICKY: Think of all the pleasures you'll get when you're all WET!

Not a trouble you can't forget when you're all wet!

Some folks say that being happy is having barrels of cash,

But I believe that being happy is

Here a splash!

There a splash!

(stops) You're kidding, right? WET? Good luck getting me to do THAT.

SKIMBLE: (sitting in the fourth row) As long as it's not ME.

VERONI: There's no real water involved here! I swear! Now come on! It's a cool song!

VICKY: I don't care if it's a chart topper! I remember what happened to Skimble in "Catrousel"! I'm not stupid!

LEC: Not THAT stupid.

VICKY: (hisses)

VERONI: Fine! Fine! No getting wet! Next scene. I think I feel a migrane coming on. (pauses) Yep, here she comes now!

(After their quick little swim, they rush back to the dance floor where the Harmonica Specialty is in full swing.)

OLD D: (wails on the harmonica) First line of the blues is always sung a second ti-ime!!

VERONI: To coin a phrase that has been used to death--- WRONG SONG!

(After the dance, Mack announces Vicita and Munk's engagement. Munk proposes, umprompted and a celebration begins at once with Vicita singing her signature song. This triggers a flashback----)

POUNCE: Which means, SMOKE MACHINE TIME!

TANTI: (rushes backstage) On it!

VERONI: You sure you can keep an eye on it AND be on the stage?

TANTI: It'll be as easy as falling off a log!

VICKY: (sings as the smoke drifts onstage) Love bird... I'm feelin' blue....

Love bird, we should be two.

How can we have love seed to grow,

When I'm alone and feeling so low?

Solo....

Love bird, come on, be there.

Love bird let's make a pair.

If you stay away from the world I'm dreaming of...

I'll be a love bird with no one to love.

(The smoke starts to REALLY roll in as Munkustrap and Plato rush onstage)

PLATO: Come on! The plane's all fueled up!

MUNKU: Plonny, look! I got the winning ticket!

PLATO: You're going up NEXT, Munk!

MUNKU: No- It's not my turn!

PLATO: They changed the schedule!

MUNKU: Shhhh! Listen...

VICKY: (climbing higher and higher on the mainstand to be seen above the rising fog)

Nobody buys one shoe,

(Realizes she can't go any higher and cringes, knowing what's coming next)

Nobody wants one glove.

Some things natually come with a mate.

That's why I'm crying when I state..... (coughs loudly as she's completely consumed in the fog)

PLATO: Smoker's cough?

VICKY: (throws a shoe at him) I'm TRYING to sing here.

MUNKU: (flailing in the fog) I can't see ANYTHING....

DEM: (screams) The sky is falling!

VERONI: TANTOMILE!!

PLATO: Come on, Munk!

MUNKU: (sighs happilly, or at least that's what the script says... what comes out is more of a wheeze) Look at her!

PLATO: Let's go!

MUNKU: She's the one, Plonny. This is it!

PLATO: (shaking his head) Hey! Do you want this to be your last air show?

MUNKU: There must be some mistake.

PLATO: I'm telling you, the order changed!

MUNKU: Hey! I want my dance!

PLATO: So you'll come back later! Let's go flytom!

BOMB: Oh, he'll be back later alright.... MUCH later.

VERONI: No foreshadowing!

VICKY: (who, is singing somewhere in the pea soup fog) Lovebird, come on be there!

Love bird, let's make a pair!

If you stay away from the world I'm dreaming of!

(coughs) I'll be a lonely love bird with no one....

To looooove..... (crashing sound)

VERONI: (cringes) Eh-oh... TANTOMILE!!

TANTI: The pushbutton for the smoke effect is kinda.... stuck.

VERONI: Kinda?

TANTI: Alright, so I was kinda leaning on it, happy now?

VERONI: Oh goodie. Any chance of turning that thing, oh, I don't know... OFF?

TANTI: We're working on it! We're working on it!

(We're whisked back to the present with the beginning of The Sprints.)

MAC: Oh goodie. Now I get the long speeches... why did I want this part again, exactly? (gets a dirty look) I-I mean...

Ladies and Gentlemen! Take a good look at our boys and girls. After 338 hours, do they truly have what it takes to make it to the end of... THE SPRINTS? For ten minutes, around the floor, our couples must run. To our last two couples to make it to the finish line-- and to anyone else who falls-- we must bid a sad-- but final-- adieu. Or, as the French would say-- oor-yay out-ay!

POUNCE: You mean as the Pig Latineese would say?

JEMI: Pigs speak Latin?

VERONI: I'll pretend you two DIDN'T just interrupt like that...

MAC: (sings) When you feel the

World is sitting on your shoulders...

Not THIS song again! Can't they come up with anything else?

VERONI: Keep singing!

MAC: (hums along sarcastically)

VERONI: I can't HEAR you!

MAC: (screams at the top of his lungs)

WHEN YOU FEEL AN ANGER DEEP INSIDE THAT SMOULDERS...

DANCE!

VERONI: (rolls her eyes)

(Couples start to stagger and couples number 3 and 18 are disqualified. Just as the end appears in sight and it looks as if Munk and Vicita have once again survived to the next round--- she falls and everything freezes)

TANTI: (backstage) I DIDN'T DO IT!!

VERONI: Nice to know you're so willing to foist the blame onto someone else, but it's IN THE SCRIPT!

VICKY: Although it's so foggy up here, I think part of that WAS actual fall. (moans) Ooooo... my back.

MUNKU: (is the only one unfrozen) No! You can't fall now! I still have more time left---

(He gently helps her to her feet and touches her cheek. Magically he waves his paw and time starts to rewind. When it has reset to the time just before she fell, he waves his paw and things start back at normal speed)

MUNKU: Go on. (waves his paw) FLY!

CATS: Whoa.

MISTO: (rubs his paws together) You amazement is all the thanks the special effects department needs.

KITTENS: (swarm Munkustrap) WOW!! HOW DID YOU DO THAT?! COULD YOU TEACH ME TO DO THAT?!

MISTO: Uhm.. yoo-hoo? Ladies?

LEC: Can I have your autograph?

MISTO: (jumping up and down) Hello?!

ETCY: Can you do that thing with the spotlight too? Just like Misto can?

MISTO: (slumps) I think I'm talking. I'm moving my lips... sound is coming out...

VERONI: It's alright, Misto. We all know you're the real conjurer here.

MISTO: (whimpers) I feel so unloved right now. I do the hard work and HE gets the glory!

JELLY: Poor Cyrano.

MISTO: HUH?

(LOOOONG pause)

JELLY: Cyrano deBourgerac? Famous novel? Wrote love poems for his best friend to give to a girl and his friend got all the credit? (sighs in frustration) Am I the only one who reads around here?!!

VERONI: I read.... (grins mischieviously) scripts for musicals.

JELLY: AURGH!!!

(We'll push right on into act two now..... On a 15 minute rest break, Vicita is sleeping on her cot. Munk appears in her dreams in his aviator gear.)

MUNKU: Come on! Wake up!

It's time to go,

Up where the eagles fly!

Where we can feel

The four winds blow

And watch the clouds roll by....

When your earthly cares are a grind,

And you're left with no peace of mind,

Things work out, you're sure to find

When you leave the world behind!!

(The cats assemble a makeshift airplane out of trash, ala the railroad train, overseen by Skimbleshanks)

MUNKU & GIRLS: Behind..... Behind.....

GIRLS: (doing a little dance on the "wings") Come on and wake up, we're flying!

The feeling's electrifying!

Up where the eagles....

Just take a breath! It's death-defying!

Just feel the four breezes blowing!

No need to know where you're going

Watching the clouds roll---

VERONI: Fog getting a bit.... HEAVY?

TANTI: We're working as fast as we can back here!

LEXIE: We've had to readjust the settings on everything. Sorry if it's taking too Gnol...

(The song and dance continues for WAY more HTML space than we can afford to sacrifice right now and be under a five part fic. Vicita joins them on the wings and they sing and tap dance---)

JENNY: (pops out in her flapper outfit from "The Old Gumbie Cat") Squad salute!

VERONI: JENNY!

JENNY: Sor-RY.

(Suddenly the plain tips and starts to go into a simulated nosedive)

MUNKU: Hold on, Vicita! Hold on! Grab my paw! Don't look down! Come on, hold on! I've got you....

(Vicita miraculously gets the plane started again so that the song can continue....)

MUNKU and VICKY: When your earthly cares are a bind..

And you're left with no peace of mind...

MUNKU: Fly and leave the world behind..

Climb aboard and leave the world.....

Behiiiiind.....

(He vanishes into the mists and Vicita wakes up. The mist should dissapear too, but oh well, that's the way it goes...)

LEXIE: (bellows) WE'RE WORKING AS FAST AS WE NAC!!!

(Meanwhile, the young farmer from Utah named Happy MunGuire has dropped out of the competition in hopes that it will convince his wife Rumprecious to come home with him. He has grown sick of the city, but she has other plans involving fame and fortune. As he sits on the pier alone, mourning his wife's indifference towards him, Bomby Stephens, who has sincerely fallen in love with the young tom, offers to take Rumprecious' place as his wife.)

BOMB: Happy, take me with you.... We'd make a great team.

(sings gently and sweetly) Somebody older can teach you things,

Somebody older can show you how.

Someone who's seen it all,

Can help you get through

What you're going through now.

Somebody wiser who's been around

Can probably send you safely on your way.

Listen and hear what somebody older might say.

Someone who'd probably be

Someone a lot like me.

MUNGO: (shaking his head) 'Alfway there, ya'd be wonderin' wot ya got yourself into. An' once ya got there, ya wouldn't fit in.

ALONZO: He doesn't SOUND like he's from Utah...

VERONI: Shhhhhh!! There's a reason they call it ACTING.

BOMB: Yes, I would!

MUNGO: It's a different world, Bomby!

BOMB: You'd be ashamed of me. Is that it?

MUNGO: Woll, yeah.....

VERONI: MUNGOJERRIE! Say it RIGHT!

MUNGO: (rolls his eyes) Naw. You'd be ashamed of ME.

BOMB: Well, that much is probably true......

VERONI: Can't you two get through ONE meesly little scene together? Am I asking too much?

BOMB: Yeah, actually.

VERONI: RHETORICAL question, Bomb dear. (moans)

MUNGO: Goodbye Bomby. (leaves)

BOMB: (working really hard to try and look heart broken, but not succeeding very well)

Sombody wiser who's been around,

Can probably send you safely on your way.

Somebody young needs somebody older,

It's clear.

Someone who'd probably be

Someone a lot.... like.... meeeeee... (breaks down into fake sobs)

TUGGER: That's my Bombs. Saving the scene.

VERONI: Which she almost RUINED in the first place.

TUGGER: Just a technicality.

TANTI: (rushes in, covered head to tail in soot) Speaking of technical problems..... the machine is kinda..... (makes an exploding sound)

VERONI: (holds her head in her paws) I'm coming... I'm coming....