Veroni: So, are we prepared for the next part of Skimblenel?

Exotica: Aside from the massive amount of mental scarring I can attribute to a pant-less Bustopher Jones, I'm great.

Veroni: I find that if you tell yourself that it didn't happen and focus on happy thoughts, you don't feel so bad.

Munku: Are you going to break into song now? Cuz I'd like to be an elsewhere.

Veroni: No... but now that you mention it! (sings)

When the dog bites!

When the bee stings!

When I'm feeling sad!

I--- (Pounce walks in and claps his paw over Veroni's mouth. The cats begin to applaud.... for POUNCE.)

Veroni: (breaks free) Alright, alright! Let's just start this thing, shall we?

(The curtain rises on Act 2 and we are at Lord Gusville's Ball. Cassurite is anxiously asking around for any info on the Skimblenel while Percy is entertaining guests with a poem that he wrote about the illusive Skimblenel. This is yet another ruse to throw the officials off his tail, and it works quite well.)

Skimble: (begins to sing) They seek him here

They seek him there

Those Frenchies seek him everywhere!

Is he in the Heavyside or is he in Hell?

That demned illusive Skimblenel!

He meddles with the Frenchie Revolution

Popping in and out each week

Spoiling every lovely execution

La, what cheek!

Skimble: I sound like a big idiot. You REALLY didn't get enough of makin' fun of me in "How to Succeed.." did you?

Veroni: Just sing, huh?

(The party guests get into the spirit and join him in the last refrain)

All: They seek him here!

They seek him there!

Those Frenchies seek him everywhere!

Is he in the Heavyside or is he in hell?

That demned illusive Skimblene-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-el!

(The song ends and Cassurite tries to reach out to her husband, only to have Munkauvlin intervene and snatch her away.)

Munku: Time runs short, my dear.

Cass: Alright already! I'm looking! I'm looking! Oy vey!

Veroni: You show me where that is in the script and I'll let you say it.

Cass: Er, uhm... I felt it needed a little something more to it. I simply revised the li---

Veroni: Revised. Of course. (reaches for her Alieve and motions for things to continue)

(Cassurite begins snooping in earnest and finally locates one of Percy's men and begs him to have the Skimblenel meet her at the footbridge outside at 1 in the morning. The uncovered member the Skimblenel's league informs Percy of what has happened and Percy agrees.)

Munku: He AGREES? Maybe someone needs to take Skimble aside and explain to him again what a 'secret identity' means.

(At 1 am, Cassurite is waiting impatiently when instead of the Skimblenel, her husband arrives. She is confused, but decides to use the opportunity to reach out to him once more and win his love again.)

Cass: (sings) I see you try to turn away

I hear the words you long to say

I feel how much you need to hide

What's happening inside you tonight

Come meet my eyes one moment more

Our eyes are different than before

This night, so beautiful and strange

This night begins to change who we are

Pounce: How many heart-breaking songs can one character sing? She's getting quite predictable here.

Jenny: SHHHH!!!! Pounce! I think they're terribly romantic!

Pounce: YOU would.

Cass: (jumps ahead to the last refrain) Don't be afraid! It's only love!

Only a touch that frees you

Let it release you!

Take the chance- It's only love

Let it come through you slowly

Open your heart and sho-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-ow me!

Bomb: Sheesh! Easy on the vibrado, Cass!

Cass: (softens her voice with a guilty look on her face)

Don't be afraid

It's o-O-only lo-o-o-o-o-ove.

(She finishes and turns back to her husband, only he isn't there anymore... the Skimblenel is though.)

Pounce: WOW! What a coincidence!

Veroni: Cute Pounce. Sarcasm is so a new thing for you, you know?

Pounce: Okay, NOW I'm sensing counter sarcasm!

Veroni: You asked for it.

(She explains how she has been blackmailed by Munkauvlin and begins to weep as she relays the whole story. She tells the Skimblenel to run from Munkauvlin, for he means to kill the mysterious tom. The Skimblenel tells her to go and that he and his men will take care of the situation and bring her brother back in one piece. She leaves and Percy is left in a state of joy. His wife was never a traitor and always loved him. Her betrayal had only stemmed from Munkauvlin's blackmail. Thrilled with this change of events, he---)

Cats: Sings, we know! Get on with it already!

Skimble: So many nights I have stood in the moonlight

Watching it fade into dawn

Wanting her back with me, warm in the moonlight

Knowing that moment was gone-

Out of mind, out of sight- Til' the moon

Rose.... Tonight...

Kittens: Pretty!

Jenny: *sighs contentedly*

Munku: Hey guys! Remember me? "Where's the Girl?" guy?

Kittens: Shhhh!!! Skimble's singing.

Munku: (gasps, overdramatically) I have been forgotten! My people---!

Griz: (emerges in her Norma Desmond outfit) Get used to it.

Skimble: (grins triumphantly as Munkustrap and continues HIS sexy song)

All at once I felt a chill

In a spill of moonlight... she was there

Though we both held very still

There was something pulling in the air.

When she whispered through the dark

I tried hard to hold my ground

I believed I had a choice

Til' the music in her voice

Turned my whole world around

Kittens: Ahhhh..... *purrrr*

Skimble: (ego inflating by the minute, continues...) I would like to understand

But the stars and I begin to blur!

If she never touched my hand

Tumble: Cats don't have hands.

Veroni: Trying to invent lyrics there would have wrecked the song!

Pounce: Whoa. Big loss.

Kittens: (jump on Pounce) LET HIM SING!

Skimble: (hisses and continues) Then what filled me with the feel of her?

In between us stood a wall

In a flash, it fell apart!

Is it possible she heard

Every last unspoken word

RACING OUT OF MY HEART!

(music swells and Skimble steps foreward to make things more dramatic)

She never TURNED to me, but SUDDenly

We HAD SO MUCH TO SHARE!

I never took her in my arms, but she was there!

Oh, she was there!

No, I never pulled her in!

Still, her tenderness was EVERYWHERE!

Oh, she slipped beneath my skin

Just as if she'd always been right there!

Has she been there all along?

Was I too far GOOOOOOOOONE to KNOOOOOOOW?

What a fool I must have been, for how could I pull her in

When I've never let HE-E-E-E-E-E-E-ER

GO-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O *GASP* O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O!!

Cats: *wildly applaud*

Skimble: (out of breath) Thanks. *thud*

Veroni: Quite impressive... except for the 'stopping to take in some air halfway through the last note' thing.

Skimble: YOU try to hit that note!

(That night, Percy and his men set out for France to rescue their comrad, Almand. Unfortunately, Cassurite decides to take off for France too, which further complicates matters.)

Toms: Just like a queen!

Queens: It's a queen's perogative to change her mind!

(She arrives in France and begins poking around for info, and lands in a bar where several soldiers are gettin' nicely snockered. Taking this 'intoxication' advantage, she disguises herself as a French tart and they sing a good old fashioned bar room number.)

Jem: CONFUSION! What's a tart?

Bustopher: Quite tasty if I do say so myself!

Vicky: I don't think they mean that kind of tart.

Veroni: (leans over and whispers in Jem's ear)

Jem: EEEWWWWW!!!! (whispers in Bustopher's ear)

Bustopher: Oh!! THAT kind of tart. Okay... definatly not tasty, then.

Cass: (sways to the music and begins singing to the drunken Cats)

Listen to me, I have beautiful dreams I can spin you

Dreams to linger within you

Close your eyes and we'll ride my carousel.

I'll sing you stories of lovers who's love used to fill me

And the lovers who will be

For you see, love is one thing I do well

Come, let's believe love can be just as sweet as it seems

Let's live on dreams!

(The toms slog foreward and begin swaying with her.)

Veroni: *sniffs the air* What's that juice made of Pounce?

Pounce: *HIC* I was *HIC* careful this time. The bottle said it was made from grapes! It's grape juice!

Veroni: *looks at the bottle* FERMENTED grapes! POUNCE, THIS IS WINE!

Pounce: *HIC* Whoops.... sorry! *HIC*

Cass: (skips ahead, cuz the wine's makin' her all foggy)

Come and wake me

Come be the love I can hold now

Storybook love leaves me cold now

Show me the way to stop dreaming

There is only one perfect storybook ending

That is the end of pretending

That is the moment I say, "LOVE ME NOW!"

Veroni: Eh-oh. Anyone here know how to sing in French?

Munku: I sang in France, does that count for anything?

Veroni: I need someone to sing this and Cass is lookin' a bit wasted.

Cass: (slurs her words as she runs foreward) I--eee--'ll si--eee-ing it!

Veroni: *sighs* Here goes everything.

Cass: (singing off key) Eat surf man!

Veroni: I think I'll be here offering as interpreter... "Et sur mon"

Cass: ORANGE!

Veroni: "manége"

Cass: Report missed my sandpit!

Veroni: "L'amour tourjours est chantant"

Pounce: *HIC* Why are you bothering?

Veroni: JENNY! Can you read French?

Jenny: Well, I could...

Veroni: GREAT! DO IT!

Jenny: I didn't say I wou--- Oh well.

(Jenny pushes the tipsy Cass out of the way and takes up where she left off.)

Jenny: (goes a little slow, but gets it)

De mes réves, c'est le commencement

Et j'espere une fin heureuse

Mais la fin de l'histoire ne vient pas trés

Doucement,

Pour l'histoire il faut faire semblant

Certes je n'embrasse que mes réves,

SEULS MES RÉVES!

(During this, the drunk cats formed a kick line and foolishly attempted something requiring actual coordination, which if you have ever been slightly snockered or just under Sudafed, you know is next to impossible. The end result is something to rival the conclusion of the first act of "Cat Miserables"---- the kick line slowly gave way to the domino effect when Pounce passed out in the arms of the cat to his left, causing THAT cat to fall into the next cat and the NEXT cat to fall into- well, I guess you get the picture. By the time Jenny got to the last line, everyone was sprawled out on the floor.)

Jenny: I'm guessing we need to take a break here.

Veroni: I hadn't wanted to, but I think this would be a bad omen for the 11 o'clock number, which is my favorite in the show, next to "Where's the Girl".

Jem: Eleven o'clock number? V, it's only 6:00.

Veroni: *groans* I'll explain later.