Listen to that Cat-time! - part I

Victoria: How did we get roped into another parody?

Bombalurina: Just put on the dress. It'll be over soon.... I hope!

Veronikitty: C'mon you guys! Let's start. This is gonna be great!

Gus: Huh?...... His mother can rake?

Jellylorum: Never mind, dear.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The stage is dark and suddenly a shaft of light slants across the stage. Pouncival emerges wearing a white sailor suit.

Pounce: I look like an idiot!

Pounce: In 1902, Father Munku built a cardboard box at the crest of the Broadview Avenue Hill in New Junkpille, New York. And it seemed for some years thereafter that all the family's days would be warm and fair..

The curtain rises and we see the Cats of New Junkpille. They all wear white.

Munku: Let's not sing the whole thing, PLEASE! Just skip to the dialogue.

Veroni: Fine, spoilsport!

Munkustrap: Father Munku was well off-- very well off. His considerable income was derived from the production of catnip and scratching posts. He was also something of an explorer..

Jennyanydots: The cardboard box on the hill was Mother Jenny's domain. She made the men help out in the kitchen and clean the dishes and....

Veroni: And where do you see that in the script, Missy?

Jenny: But she sounds so incredibly anti-feminist!

Veroni: Deal with it.

Jenny *says it right*...

Tugger: Mother Jenny's Younger Bro worked in the catnip factory.. He was a genius at explosives!

Tugger: YEESSS!

Gus: Gusfather had been a professor of acting. And I once played Growltiger.. Could do it again.... Could do it again......

Veroni: Wrong show, wrong song!!

Gus: (either ignoring the comment, or never heard it) Now retired and living with his daughter and her family, HE WAS THOROUGHLY IRRITATED BY EVERYTHING!

All: (mild applause)

Gus: You don't think I overdid it, do you?

Veroni: (rubs ears in pain

We now quickly move on to Carlem....

Tumblebrutus: In Carlem, Toms and Queens of darker colorings danced and reveled to the music of Tumblehouse Jogger!

Misto: Again with the puns!

Tumble: *I* actually think it's a pretty cool name......

Cassandra: One young cat thought Tumblehouse played just for her. Her name was Cassie!

Bustopher Jones: Looker N. Garbagecan was one of the most famous darker-colored cats in the world. He promoted friendship between the breeds.

The immigrant cats now come on stage.

Skimbleshanks: In Scotland, a Tom dreamed of a new life for his Little Jemi. His name was Skimbah.

Veroni: Scotland?

Skimble: With this brogue, do you think that anyone would really believe that I was from Latvia?

Veroni: Point taken.

Pounce: Mistini! Look it's Mistini!

The cats ooh and ahh in unison, (that is except Gus, who has forgotten and does it a full second after everyone finishes) as Mistini lowers himself from the ceiling and escapes a straight jacket.

Mistoffelees: Hairy Mistini was an immigrant who made an art of escape and became a headliner in Vaudeville!

Bomb: Ich bin die Mutter Katze des grossen Houdinis!

Tugger: Wow Bomb! Did I ever tell you that cats who speak German really turn me on?

Veroni: TUGGER! Younger Brother absolutely never hit on Houdini's mother!

Tugger: Sorry.

Misto: (sees Pounce) Hello, sonny!

Pounce: Warn the dude!

Misto: Huh? Wait, who's the dude? Wait up!

He is interrupted by the industrial cats who march in and cut him off....

Old Deuteronomy: Certain cats make a junkyard great!

Alonzo: They can't help it!

Old D: Like the Everlasting Cats reincarnated! Stood, O.D. Morgan.......

Alonzo: ... and Lonzy Ford!

Old D: All cats are born equal...

Alonzo: But the cream rises to the top!

The anarchist storms in.....

Electra: Everyone together now....... Ooooh. I, am, so, scared.

Demeter: Quiet! You're spoiling my entrance!

Demeter: Oohh, let me at those sons of *beep*.

Veroni: (paw on censored button) Did I mention that this is a G-rated fic?

Demeter: These cats are demons, and not to mention extreme egotists!

Old D: Someone should arrest that cat!

Demeter: The radical anarchist Demeta Goldfur fought against almost anything organized and that would remotely gain a profit from its work...

Veroni: Stick to the script!

Demeter: I've never understood anarchists anyway....

An insipid La-La-ing is heard from above them. A kitten swings in on a trapeze.

Etcetera: Whee! Whee!

Demeter: But the country was watching another drama.

Cetera: Cetera Nesbit was the most beautiful kitty in America! If she curled her fur, every queen curled her fur.

Coricopat: Her lover was the architect, Coriford White.

Cetera: Whee!

Plato: Her husband was the eccentric and extremely jealous millionaire, Platus K. Paw. HE WAS A VIOLENT CAT!!!!

Cetera: After her husband shot her lover, Cetera became the biggest attraction in Vaudeville!

Female Cats: La La La La La!

Males: Bang! Bang!

Veroni: Now play dead.

Cori: Very funny.

Cori: (does his best flop onto the stage)

All of this commotion has knocked Cetera off the trapeze and landed her splat on the stage. She is jacked up just in time for all the cats to sing....

All: It was the music of something beginning. An era exploding. A century spinning in riches and rags and in rhythm and rhyme. The felines called it Cat-time! Cat-time!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jenny: I thought part of the agreement was we wouldn't have to sing!

Lectra: I suppose it was really necessary in order to finish out the scene....

Tugger: I need a break!

Misto: We just started, and anyway.... YOU BARELY DID A THING!

Veroni: You're in luck! I ordered out, so no one has to leave! We can get back to work all the faster this way....

Cetera: (really sarcastic) Whee!