(When we last left off, we went to a commercial break after an interview with Judge Deutiver Wright...)

BOMB: Matt, this is NOT going to work.

MATT: Why?

BOMB: It was "the five F's" in the movie during this part!

MATT: Fine, fine... (scribbles on Bomb's script) Happy?

BOMB: It's going to sound awkward...but I guess it works.

(gets into character. We see she is dressed like a professor, in a cap and gown, with glasses.)

MAC: HER?! Dressed like a professor?!! HA!

MATT: Macavity? Do you mind? You already made this hard enough as it is!

(So Bombacy Struthers is wearing her prof's outfit, and is sitting among a group of kittens. She taps a pointer on a blackboard and begins the commercial...)

BOMB: Okay kittens, let's hear the...er, one M and four F's for today! M for...

KITTENS: Munkley!

BOMB: F for...

KITTENS: Flavors!

BOMB: F for...

KITTENS: Fabulous!

BOMB: F for...

KITTENS: Fast!

BOMB: And F for...

KITTENS: Food!

ADMETUS: (who has announcer duties and is talking into a trash can, something that's been done WAY too many times in these parodies) First and foremost, Munkley Flavors' fabulous fast foods feed and fortify families for a fabulous future!

MUNKU: I'm impressed, Admetus! That was one heck of a tongue twister!

ADMETUS: I don't know how you do it for "Pekes & Pollicles", Munkustrap! How many "F" words did I say, anyway?

TUGGER: HA! You only need to know one "F" word in life...

BANDERSNATCH: Watch your mouth, Tugger! (resumes chasing Pouncival)

(Meanwhile, Cassie and Deutiver are walking towards the coffee stand, as our faithful floor manager/techie, Mistoffolees, calls out orders.)

MISTO: Stand by for Marriage Maze. Strike Catton Dossier!

CASS: Thank you so much, Judge Wright, for another wonderful interview.

POUNCE: (running out of breath) More like another boring interview!

OLD D: (rolls eyes and gets back into character) Judge Wright? Oh, come on, Cassie. First name terms surely, huh?

CASS: My name's Cassandra, not Shirley!

MATT: Cassandra, where was that in the script?

CASS: Sorry. The opportunity was just SO there.

SADIE: You've been hanging around Pouncival, haven't you?

POUNCE: (after looking back and seeing that Bandersnatch is gaining on him) HEY!

CASS: (back in character) Oh Deutiver, you're so tolerant. Time for a coffee break before you rush off?

POUNCE: COFFEE BREAK!!!!

JEMI: It's about time!

CET: There's no coffee!

SKIMBLE: No coffee??? AAAAHHHHHHH!

(sings)

If I can't take my coffee break...

MATT: WRONG SONG! WRONG SHOW!!!!! AURGH!!!!!!!

OLD D: Mmm, I'd love to, that is, if you don't mind being seen with an older tom.

CASS: Why, Deutiver, since Ralph and I separated, maturity is something I look for in a tom.

(They are quickly accosted by Jemeely...)

JEMI: Hi Cassie.

CASS: Hi Jemeely.

JEMI: You keep up that high standard of interview and I'm gonna have to include you in Munkley's documentary. You're so probing!

OLD D: A free thinker?

CASS: Everything's free there.

(At this point, they've reached the coffee stand. The owner--played by Quaxo--serves them.)

QUAXO: Hi Cassie. The usual?

CASS: Plus one.

QUAXO: Here ya go. (turns to Vance Pouncer, the security guy) Hi Vance. Are you gonna be watching Marriage Maze?

POUNCE: (who has recovered from his chase with Bandersnatch and quickly got into character) Sure am. This could be Bert Guschnick's finest hour.

MISTO: Yeah.

QUAXO: Yeah?

POUNCE: Yeah. This could be a major step forward for him.

MISTO: Yeah, a leap in the dark. I better go check on Bert, otherwise...

GUS: What does he mean by a leap in the dark?

MATT: Well, Gus, your character is supposed to be blind.

TUMBLE: And given his performance in "Kiss Me, Cat", this part isn't too much of a stretch for him.

JELLYLORUM: Tumblebrutus! Respect your elders!

(Anyhow, we see Bert Guschnick getting ready to walk out on stage. His show is about to start.)

ADMETUS: And here to bring you your just desserts and a recipe for a perfect marriage, is that gorgeous gourmet, tossing the uproarious salad of life...

BUSTOPHER: But I thought I was playing Janet's dad in this one!

MATT: Not you, Bustopher!

ADMETUS: (after rolling his eyes) ...Marriage Maze host Bert Guschnick!!

(Bert Guschnick dances out onto the stage.)

GUS: Hoopla, Catton!

AUDIENCE: (including Macavity's henchcats) Hoopla, Bert!

MAC: Shaddap! Whose side are you guys on, anyway?

NUNZIO: Hey, WE weren't the ones who filed that big lawsuit! WE aren't the ones who aren't getting paid for not being in this parody...SO LET US GET INTO IT, OK?!

MAC: I knew I shouldn't have made that lawsuit... Vinnie takes me to the cleaners, my henchcats want parts in parodies...so here I am bankrupt and grouchy...

(Mac cannot be heard over the extra cats cheering Bert Guschnick. He speaks in a mild German accent.)

GUS: Thank you. Velcome. Thank you. Before ve start I vant to say von or two vords about tomorrow night's great new show "The Faith Factory Show". Und as a matter of fact, ve have in de studio audience tonight de host und his lovely co-host. Give a big hand please to Ralph Hapskimble und de vivacious Bombacy Struthers!

(Ralph and Bombacy stand up. They're sitting one row in front of Brad and Demnet.)

MUNKU: Hey, Ralph!

DEM: Brad!

(Meanwhile, Cassie and Deutiver are watching by the coffee stand...)

CASS: Bombacy Struthers with my husband. Everlasting Cat, I must have been blind. Still, the weaker the tom, the dumber the blonde.

SKIMBLE & BOMB: HEY!!!!

OLD D: Isn't that Brad and Demnet Munkus sitting in the audience? What an ideal couple they are. You know more than anyone else in Catton they represent the old values. Ike would've been proud of them.

(Back on stage...)

GUS: And now, vould de first couple who seem to have made hash of their marriage und cooked their goose, step this way please. YOU! (points to Brad and Demnet)

DEM: That's us, Brad!

GUS: Come on. Vat's cooking up there? Come on down you guys!

POUNCE: You're the next contestants on "This Parody is Wrong"!

BANDERSNATCH: Pounce, do you want a repeat visit to the soundproof booth?

MUNKU: I'm not going, Demnet.

DEM: We've got to. Everyone is watching.

(Misto leads Brad and Demnet to the stage.)

GUS: Face the cameras. Face the cameras. Now introduce yourselves.

(As the introduction is being made, we see Munkley... well, in this case it's a mannequin in Munkustrap's OTHER costume for the sake of continuity...watching from his office. We quickly go back to the set.)

DEM: I'm Demnet Munkus and this is my husband Brad.

GUS: Hey Brad, we've been hearing some bad things about you. Haven't we, Demnet?

(the crowd laughs)

Haven't we, Demnet?

DEM: Uh, uh yes, he needs help.

SADIE: (reading ahead in the script) He IS going to need it after what Matt's going to have him do later on!

MUNKU: And that is?

SADIE: Um, never mind.

MUNKU: GRRR!

GUS: Help? Let's face it, Demnet, Brad's an emotional cripple!

DEM: I know, I know, it's jus--

GUS: It looks like the rest home for this stupid old marriage, hey?

POUNCE: And it looks like we'll abort this stupid old parody, hey?

GUS: Tell me, Demnet, you vatch Cattonvale?

DEM: Uh, yes, I've caught it once or twice.

GUS: That's right, CTV's most popular hospital series, featuring those perennial favorites Grizion and Rumpmo McKinley, neuro-specialist par excelance. I recommend, if you pardon my French, Demnet, that you send Brad to them for treatment.

DEM: Oh, uh, well, uh, I know he's a little boring...

TUGGER: A LITTLE boring? MUNKUSTRAP! THAT'S an understatement!

MUNKU: HEY!!!

DEM: ...but, uh, neuro specialists? That sounds a little drastic.

MAC: (thinking about a lobotomized Munkustrap) WELL...

MUNKU: HEY! When did it become "make fun of Munkustrap" day?

(Meanwhile, back at the coffee stand...)

OLD D: McKinley. McKinley.

CASS: Bert brought them over from Europe.

OLD D: Oh?

CASS: They had a very popular series together. It's still rerun in a lot of countries. You must have seen them on "Cattonvale".

OLD D: No, I never watch that.

(Well, in the interest of time, let's just say that Bert has sealed Brad's fate and he's going to Cattonvale, although he doesn't want to...)

MUNKU: Demnet, I'm...I'm not going.

DEM: What do you mean you're not going? You'll ruin the show. Bert's made all the arrangements.

MUNKU: But I don't need treatment. (knocks a pitcher of water over)

DEM: MACAVITY!!!!

MAC: How could I do that all the way up here? Besides, MUNKUSTRAP knocked it over!

DEM: Sorry. Old habit.

GUS: But you do need glasses, hey, stupid? Doesn't he, customers?

DEM: I am sick of being humiliated by you. Bert's right, you're going!

VERONI: Speaking of going, Angelfire demands an HTML break now...

POUNCE: And ALSO speaking of going.... (trots off to the little Tom's room, holding his legs together, only to find it locked) HEY!!!! Who's the commedian who locked the door?

VERONI: (twirling the key ring around her finger where he can't see it) Oh. I haven't seen it ANYWHERE.