All: Just keeping in practice . . .

Continuing from the last installment . . . in which Misto dropped out from nowhere, Etcetera dropped in on the Slayerettes--

All: And the plot dropped waaaaaaay behind . . .

We continue the story as two majorly menacing Pollicles dropped in. (Due to cast shortages, it's going to be Macavity and the GRC--if only because they can look menacing without trying very hard)

Rumpus: What? Us?

Mac: I'm the baddie again?

Author: Baddie of the week--you get killed off quicker than you can say knife--

Mac: Why knife?

Author: Beats me . . .

Rumpus: Make this quick please?

"Okay, so we're these baaaddd guys who are in town and we're after Etcetera," said Mr M. "Come on, Mr R--we've got Slayers to slay . . ."

Tugger: This looks like an episode of Men-in-Black to me . . .

Mac: And that line was unforgivable . . . Can't you give us some better material here?

Authot: 'kay, 'kay, I'll *try* . . .

Meanwhile, in another part of the plot, Etcetera and Electra were attempting to do some Slayer-to-Slayer bonding.

"So what do you do Saturday nights?" Etcetera staked a Pollicle.

"What I do every night," Electra said as she took out another Pollicle. "Patrol, slay, save the world as we know it--the usual . . ."

"You don't have a life." Another Pollicle bit the dust.

Author: Make it quick! We're running short of Pollicles--and baby powder!

"You're going to have that problem too," said a tall dark, looming figure.

"Macavity!"

Demi: Hey, that's *my* line!

And they were jumped by even more Pollicle henchcats.

"Hey! Ever heard of fair play?"

"What use is fair play when you're the bad guy?" Macavity asked. "Although when you put it that way . . . Mr R.?"

"You've also got to consider the fact that being good guys automatically gives you more luck than us," said his number two. "And hench-Pollicles don't stand a chance at all so we've got to even out the odds."

"Easy for you to say!" Electra panted as she took out another Pollicle. "Etcy! I need some help here!"

But Etcetera was still occupied with her Pollicles.

"I hate to say this, but retreat sounds like a good option . . ."

"I hear ya girlfriend--run for it!"

"I meant we run together!" Electra hollered as she had to beat off a dozen Pollicles hanging onto her tail. After shaking them off, she hi-tailed off to Etcetera's place.

"Darn, we're sustaining losses again," Macavity sighed. "What do we do, Mr R.?"

"What we always do--make more Pollicles."

All: Big duh . . .

"Fine--make more so that we can hunt down that Slayer--even though no one knows why I'm chasing her . . ."

"I think the author has some explaining to do in the next bit of the story."

Author: Alright, more plot coming up!

At Etcetera's place--the E-Z Nites motel--our heroine finally finds her sister in arms in the middle of packing up.

"Why didja run?" Electra asked Etcetera. "I thought you weren't scared of anything?"

"He's bad business--anyway you don't have to worry about him any more! I'm leaving!"

"I can tell," Electra said, looking at her bags. "They'll just follow you. Why are you so scared of that guy? You gotta face your fears."

"Thank you, Yoda--but no thanks. I'm soooo gone!"

Electra wouldn't have minded Etcetera out of her life--

Electra: What? This town's too small for two Slayers?

--but being the good guy, she couldn't just let her go. So she went to her Watcher who normally did all the research work.

Munku: And do I get any thanks? No-ooo . . . I get pushed around by teenagers all day long . . .

"Ah, Macavity--a very senior Pollicle," Munkustrap said. "I just got a call from the Watcher's Council--seems that Macavity killed a Watcher last month."

"Ooo, ooo, I wanna guess! It was Etcetera's Watcher?" Electra asked.

"Why yes, how did you know?"

"Slayer instincts and that fact that the clues were staring me in the face? Duh. Okay, I need to do my duty as the good guy, whether I like it or not," Electra said and went back to find Etcetera. "Of course, knowing all this doesn't help me as the bad guys'll get there first . . ."

"Got that right, Slayer," said the villains, who were once again outnumbering the good guys ten to one.

"It would've been *nice* to be wrong for once . . . Oh well--Etcy, got any plans for Saturday night?"

"Just shut up and run!"

Electra: We've been spending a lot of time running, (pant pant) y'know . . .

Etc: Yeah . . . (pant pant) I can't run any more . . .

Author: Think of it as an exercise program . . .

Unfortunately for the Slayers, the evil guys were a little smarter than the average villain.

"To cut to the chase--"

All: Ha ha . . .

"--we chased the Slayers in a circle and trapped them."

"Okay, let's get down to the fighting--I haven't got all night . . ."

"Over-confident much?"

"No, just counting that one of you should be too paralyzed by fear too even fight back."

Electra: That was *mean* . . .

Mac: But it wasn't *dumb* . . . I still got the rap for killing someone though . . .

Author: I can't make *everyone* happy all the time . . .

"Thick-skinned, aren't you?" But as Electra soon found out, it was not just a figure of speech.

"There's a witty comeback that didn't quite go the right way did it?" he asked as Electra realized that stakes were not having any effect on his skin.

"Okay, Etcy--I know you're scared and all that, but HELP!" Electra yelled at her fellow Slayer. "I need HELP! Do I have to spell it out?!? H-E-L-P!!!"

Author: Your cue to do something heroic . . .

Etc: You've got to be kidding . . . but for the amount of catnip you're forking over--

"Alright, keep your tail on!" Etcetera said before she launched herself at the big Pollicle.

"Geez, what are you going to do? Talk me to death? But that still wouldn't work cuz technically Pollicles aren't alive," Macavity said before flicking her off like a pesky fly.

"Oh, look, there's a large fence post here--just right where I fell too . . ."

Etc: Fancy that . . . The chances of that happening are a million to one in real life and about one in two on TV . . .

And she staked him with the large fence post.

"Ow--I hate it when that happens," Macavity said and went poof.

Mac: Oh happiness, oh joy, I'm outta here!

Cassandra: Until they need a new villain . . .

Mac: Blast, I forgot about that . . .

"Well, time for a strategic retreat," said Mr R. and disappeared in the classic fleeing-when-the-main-villain-gets-killed-way.

Author: And so the heroes lived happily ever after--or at least until next week when a new threat shows up. Now we'll cut to . . .

Various sub-plots:

Bomb: Why do we need these?

Author: So that we can tie up loose ends and the readers can remember why they're still reading this spoof . . .

Munku: I think we all need it . . .

We even cover what the villains are doing--like in the case of the escaped Pollicles . . .

"Apparently I've got continuity now," said Mr R.. "Which is weird because I didn't get bumped off as villain of the week--"

All: But!

--But it turned out that the show's writer's had other ideas about him and sent a couple of menacing men in black to get him.

"The Mayor wants a word with you," said the menacing men in black and dragged him off.

Rumpus: I've still got a part in this fic?

Author: Like I said, we're running out of cats for the cast . . .

And even Misto! (No, we didn't forget about him!)

Who was back from the warm place underground and running around with just his pants on feeding off the local wildlife--

Misto: It's the back-to-basics-me--

--and had all the intelligence of a turnip.

Misto: Hey!

All this set the scene for a story when Plato as a werewolf and another bunch of monsters roamed around at night causing havoc.

Jemi: I can see it now--I Dated A Teenage Werewolf . . .

As this is probably not even important to the main story line, we're going to skip it and get to the juicy bits . . . Like when Electra finally finds Misto and Misto saves her from the monster of the week--who was not Plato.

Plato: Stake me--someone stake me please! I don't even get a *proper* appearance in this show!

We could go into detail with the bit where Electra traps wild Misto and chains him up--

All: Oooo, KINKY!

Author: I knew you were going to do that . . . I blame Rhee for encouraging you guys . . .

--but that would take too long. So we'll just bring you the ending bits where Misto finally regains his memory and they're having a reunion.

Electra: And what's so important about this scene?

Author: It's supposed to show how love is eternal and love redeems all, etc, etc . . .

Misto and Electra: It's so mushy we could use it for baby food . . .

And all they could do was stare at each other in a lovesick way.

"Misto!"

"Electra!"

"Misto!"

"Electra!"

"Misto--"

All: Get on with it for the Everlasting Cat's sake!

Moving along . . . After being reunited and after everyone else eventually found out that Misto was back, there was that bad business with a fake Watcher--which didn't do much except show that Misto was a still good guy and undermined Etcetera's trust in a lot of things . . .

Etc: Why do I have all the psychological trauma lined up for me?

Author: You'll see . . .

We suddenly have to break for an important event in every teen's life--Homecoming.

Electra: Waitwaitwait!

Vicky: Yeah! It says here in the script that Electra and Vicky compete for the title of Homecoming Queen! That's ridiculous!"

Electra: Yeah! What a waste of time! Not to mention sexist as well!

Vicky: I mean, I'd surely win!

Author: Alright, we put it to a vote and we decided that we won't do that--but we've got to do the scene when Pouncival and Jemima are trying out Homecoming party clothes.

Jemi and Pounce: Uh oh, she didn't forget that one . . .

Author: C'mon--it's short. It's just you two trying out the suit and dress until this--

"Ah, you look . . . beautiful . . ."

"Er, you look good too . . ."

And before they even knew it, they were snogging.

Jennyanydots: (faints)

Jemima: Oh no, Mum fainted . . . It was just one kiss.

"Oh no!"

"Clothes fluke! It was a clothes fluke! We've got to get out of these clothes now!" Pouncival paused. "No! Er, not that way!"

After they had a massive guilt-trip over their naughty little kiss, they had to have a double helping of angst to go.

"We're bad kitties?"

"We're bad kitties--and we deserved to be punished . . . Ah, I mean not in any kinky way!"

Demi: They look like they need to go see Dr. Mau about their personal problems . . .

Author: Let's bring in Dr. Mau!

All: Noooooooooooo!!!

Dr. Mau: Hi folks! Welcome to Therapy. Today, we're going to psychoanalyze why Pouncival and Jemima can't make up their minds.

Jemi: Too much angst! Too much angst already without the trauma of Therapy!

Dr. Mau: Clearly Jemima has always had a lifelong crush on Pouncival--except he thought she was always a friend--talk about typical male blindness. He only notices her now when she got pretty--

Pounce: I'm being painted to look like a jerk again . . .

Dr. Mau: And so they're going to pay the price for repressing their inner desires. End of Therapy.

All: Whew!

Author: And that was our eppy for this week!