All: Yes ma'am . . .

When we left off again--Electra's pals had came to pull her out of hot soup . . .

"Hey thanks guys."

"Sure--saving your life is part of the sidekicks job."

"But I have to save your furry rears whenever you're in trouble!"

"We're there for each other--let's have a group hug!" And then some catchy music started up again and they were singing . . .

(Sung to "I'll Be There For You" by the Rembrants)

So no one told you life was gonna be this way--

Your night job's a joke, you're broke, your love life's D.O.A.!

It's like you're always stuck in bad-plot-land--

When it hasn't been your day, your week, your month, or even your year!

But we'll be there for you--

When the blood starts to pour!

We'll be there for you--

Like we've always helped you move the bodies before!

We'll be there for you,

'Cuz you pretty much need all the help you can get . . .

Alonzo: That last line didn't fit in.

Author: So?

Alonzo: Nuthin' . . .

"Hey, how did you know that my love life's dead?" Electra asked.

All: Bad pun! Baaaaaaad pun!

"Lucky guess?" Pounce said.

"TV fact--love lives always suck for the heroes," Munkustrap said in his patented dry, Brit-Librarian-manner. "Believe me, it'll still suck even after three seasons--"

Demeter: There goes the plot-line again!

Pounce: Didn't we already do this in the Star Wars parody?

Munkustrap: The Author's running out of lame jokes to use--

Author: I will be mature about this--deep breath, take deep breaths . . .

Alonzo: Watch your back, Munku . . .

"I'm doomed for the rest of my life?"

"Yeah--if you live that long, you love life will still suck."

Munku: Wait, a Brit Librarian saying *suck*?

Author: Novelty value--just think of some guy in tweed with a Brit accent saying *suck*. Can you see it? *Su-uck*

Munku: Much too clearly--which is why it looks silly and stresses the PG-rating as well.

Author: Spoilsport . . . What about "rot" then?

Munku: Okay . . .

"Yes, if you lived that long, you're love life will still rot," said the tweedy librarian. "Now you'd better go back home to bed--you've got school tomorrow."

"I save the world on a daily basis and I have to go to school--UNFAIR!"

Misto: And that was the author pointing out fundamental irony--can you say that real fast ten times?

So grumbling about the unfairness of her life--school, sucky love life, horrible hours, etc, etc . . .--our heroine had to go home to prepare for yet another wonderful day at school. Naturally, she was late and forgot her homework.

"Detention again," Electra moaned as she joined the usual crowd in detention class. There were the usual teenage high-spirits--cuz the students didn't listen to teachers any more than they usually did in normal classes. But then the principle came along because it it was his job to make life as miserable as possible for all the kids at Junkyard High.

"Pipe down! And quite playing that loud Enya music!" Principle Skimble barked. "I swear the students these days are goin' from bad to worse these days!"

Electra: Hang on--what's the point of all this?

Tugger: Looks like the author wants to do another song! Head for the hills!

The students started singing and displaying amazing feats of choreography that they normally would drop dead first rather than admitting to.

(Sung to the tune of "Gee, Officer Krupke")

Dear Principle Skimble, you gotta understand--

It's just that our upbringing has an unfortunate fumble,

So we're kinda outta hand!

Our mothers ain't Martha Stewarts,

Our dads don't really care,

Well, duh, yeah--naturally we're jaded punks!

Gee Principle Skimble--we're so very upset,

We never had the love that every kit oughta get!

We ain't no delinquents--we're just misunderstood--

Deep down inside us there is good!

Dear Principle Skimble, we're really distressed!

With all the violence on TV and peer pressure to boot!

We're probably mental--we gotta see shrinks!

Golly cheese whiz--no wonder our life is a mess!

Oh Principle Skimble, what do we do?

Hey Principle Skimble--

Author: We got to stop now--

Alonzo: First good news I've heard today!

"Give the singing and dancing a rest you juvenile delinquents!" Skimble sneered. "I need you bunch of young criminals to volunteer for Community Clean-up Week!

Skimble: I'm mean now?

Author: No one in their right minds will believe it for an instant--don't you worry about a thing . . .

Pounce: Yeah, Unc Skimble--we all love you!

All: Awwwww!

Author: I think that's enough of mushy good feelings for now . . .

"The night shift too," Skimble said, ignoring the moans and groans from the students who knew what "voluntary" meant in the principal's book. "You can go and prove your *goodness* by helping to do something useful for a change.

Naturally, this was just a convenient excuse to swing the plot off to the dark streets at night . . .

"Look at this way, Lecky, you're still patrolling and keeping the streets safe," Pounce said to her later that evening.

"Yeah right," said the Slayer, who was lugging her trash collection bags to the collection center. "Safe from the hazards of stray litter!"

"Psst!"

"You hear anything?"

"Nope."

"*Psst*!" It was Mistoffelees, lurking around in the shadows as usual.

"Still not hearing anything!" Electra said brightly. Misto sighed and stepped out.

"Uh, excuse us for a second?" Misto asked.

"I think they want to be alone," Jemima said slowly.

"No way am I leaving her with him!" Pounce exclaimed.

"Uh, yeah, but then she'll have to protect you too--"

Pounce: This is sooooo humiliating!

"Look, 'Lectra, I know I should've told you," Misto said after the other two had left reluctantly. "But stuff like that ain't what you tell your date in the first few months of a relationship . . ."

"What relationship?!?" Electra exploded. "I can't even bring you home to show my Mom!"

"We can't even go on a normal date--you always have to go off and save people!"

"You and me, aren't we supposed to be on opposite sides?" Electra asked, almost in tears.

"I wish it could be that simple--but it's not," Misto said. "I never felt this way about any other girl . . ."

"I missed you--I hate it when we have to admit our feelings like this," Electra sighed. "I hate it when we get angsty over each other--but that's the way love goes . . ."

"And I hate it when I can't even be with you every moment, every day . . ." And they had a nice, soft, mushy, huggy moment.

All: We hate to say it--but that made us all teary!

"So much for normal life, huh?" Electra said after a while.

And this was underscored by the predictable sudden yells and screams.

"Pollicles--" Pounce and Jemima yelled as they came running back down the street. "One street over!"

Bomb: Like we all didn't know?

"Misto--" Electra said helplessly. "I have to--"

"I understand . . ." And he disappeared as quietly as he came--though we all know he'll follow secretly to make sure Electra's okay.

When the Slayer and the Slayerettes got to the scene, they saw that the victim of choice was Vicky.

Vicky: Nooooo! Why should I get dragged in at this stage!

Author: You were always so quiet--

Vicky: I was trying to make you forget I ever existed!

"Must I save her?"

"Much as we'd like to say no . . ."

"Oh well . . ." And so Electra performed her Slayer duties, in platform soles, no less--

Electra: Hey Author--you wanna try doin' those high kicks in *these*? How wouldja like to be brained by one of these clunkers--

Misto: Don't--she just might lose whatever grip on sanity she has . . .

Electra brained the Pollicles with her heavy-duty platforms.

Electra: You've really run low on catnip-induced inspiration, haven't you?

"Wow!" Vicky gasped. "Are those Prada?"

"Wha--?"

"I mean, if they were Prada, you shouldn't go around kicking people like that--you could damage the heel!"

"If she could be any more ditzy, we would have to eliminate her to save the world," Pounce whispered to Jemima.

Vicky finally realized that "Hey, you're that new weird girl--and they're the geeks who always hang out with you!"

In situtations like this, there was only one thing to do--Electra took a bow. "Duh--thank you . . ."

"What are you doing out this late--don't you guys have homework to do?"

"Er, you might not have noticed, but Lecky just saved your life," Pounce said sarcastically. "From Pollicles--you know, the ugly shoebox wearing guys that no one ever sees?"

"Oh yeah . . . Well, I won't be ungrateful--just tell me when you need any fashion tips or anything and I might be able to--"

"Thanks, but no thanks."

"As you know what we do, we either have to kill you or you can join us as a Slayerette," Pounce said--and he was really joking.

"Slayerette? But I'm already a cheerleader--"

"No, Vicky, we don't wave pompoms--we pass stakes," Jemima stated patiently. And they did the little song they had been saving for moments like this.

"We're the Slayerettes!

You can be one too!

Cuz saving the world from Pollicles is the thing to do!"

Jemima and Pounce: Ha ha, Author--very funny . . . How many people got this joke?

"Does this involve any, like, rough work? I wouldn't, like, wanna break any nails or anything . . ."

Vicky: I'm an airhead--I'm leaking rapidity!

Author: Well don't you fret--we just got to the end of this installment. You can break a nail in the next epi . . .

Vicky: Thank you--that was meant to be sarcastic, by the way . . .

Author: And now the token appearance by the villains before we go . . .

"Aww, a happy ending . . . Don't that make you sick?" Bomba asked Tugger from where they were watching the scene from their car.

"Revolting, ducks. And apparently our staff haven't a chance against that Slayer girl . . . We need a more convincing plot-- something to do with destroying the world would be good."

"And getting Misto to our side."

"That too."

Tugger: And with that sort of ending, you know there will be a next part--unfortunately.