TUMBLE: Jeez, Matt, aren't we done with this YET?

MATT: Well, let's see...Bustopher Jones has a bruised stomach, the Tugger nearly had to be put in the intensive care ward, and V and I are working on two more parodies by ourselves outside of this one, so...no we're not.

CET: Let's get on with it then!

MATT: Fine by me.

(There is still much call for Munkus to be crucified, so he is put on trial before Macavilate. A bargain might be made here...)

TUGGER: Much like the one you and Veroni made for my other big number...

MAC: And so the king is once again my guest

And why is this? Was Deuterod unimpressed?

RUMPUS: We turn to Rome to sentence Nazareth

We have no law to put a tom to death

We need him crucified--it's all you have to do

We need him crucified--it's all you have to do...

MUNKU: CRUCIFIED?! Maybe I did push it with the diva stuff...I'll leave all that to Griz, JUST DON'T CRUCIFY ME!!!

MAC: Talk to me, Munkus

You have been brought here, manacled, beaten

By your own cats, do you have the first idea why you deserve it?

POUNCE: Oh, just let me count the ways...

(Since Mac's concentration was broken, Munkus picks right up...)

MUNKU: I have got no kingdom in the world, I'm through, through, through...

JULIE: Let's HOPE he's through being King of the Divas!

(So anyway, the trial goes on for a long while, with the angry mob demanding that he be crucified...so finally Macavilate comes to a decision)

MAC: I see no reason, I find no evil

This tom is harmless so why does he upset you?

He's just misguided, thinks he's important

But to keep you vultures happy, I shall flog him

OTHER CATS: Crucify him!

(And so Macavilate gives Munkus thirty-nine lashes...)

MAC: I'm gonna enjoy this!

(and so he thrashes Munkus thirty-nine times with his tail, then sings again)

Where are you from, Munkus? What do you want, Munkus?

You've got to be careful, you could be dead soon, could well be

Why do you not speak when I have your life in my paws?

How can you stay quiet? I don't believe you understand

MUNKU: You have nothing in your paws...

POUNCE: ACTUALLY, he does have his tail in his paws...

MUNKU: (whacks Pounce on the nose with HIS tail, and continues)

Any power you have comes to you from far beyond

Everything is fixed and you can't change it

MAC: You're a fool, Munkus--how can I help you?

OTHER CATS: Macavilate! Crucify him!

Remember Caesar--you have a duty

BUSTOPHER: Caesar salad? Where?

OTHER CATS: (continuing) ...to keep the peace, so crucify him!

Remember Caesar, you'll be demoted, you'll be deported

Crucify him!

MAC: Don't let me stop your great self-destruction

Die if you want to, you misguided martyr

I wash my hands of your demolition

DIE IF YOU WANT TO, YOU INNOCENT PUPPET!

(breaks character) You don't think I overdid that last line, did you?

MATT: (rubbing his ears) Nooooooo.

(And we see Judas's spirit, along with three background queens--Bombalurina, Tantomile, and Juliet, wearing the Little Junkyard of Horrors doo-wop queen outfits only with 70's Afro wigs--and the background cats, wearing costumes that look like they were from King Deuterod's number. The Tugger is back in top form after his near-death experience, and starts to sing...)

GRIZ: Knock 'em dead, Juliet!

OTHER CATS: HER?!

MATT: And why not? She's got talent, beauty, and genius!

TUGGER: Quit kissing up and let me sing!

MATT: I AM NOT KISSING UP...it's the truth!

TUGGER: (hisses at Matt and starts to sing)

Every time I look at you I don't understand

Why you let the things you did get so out of hand

You'd have managed better if you'd had it planned

Why'd you choose such a backward time and such a strange land

If you'd come today you would have reached a whole nation

Israel in 4 BC had no mass communication

Don't you get me wrong, I only want to know

TANTI, BOMB, JULIE: Everlasting Cat, Everlasting Cat

Who are you? What have you sacrificed?

Everlasting Cat Superstar

Do you think you're what they say you are?

VERONI: (races in) Hey Matt! You started without me and the others!!

TUGGER: Where exactly WERE you?

VERONI: Finishing up a few things on the set of "You're A Good Tom, Munklie Brown". I sent Munku on ahead since he's kinda the lead here, but the others had to tie up a few loose ends.

MUNKU: Hey Cori.. how's the head?

MISTO: Don't say anything about that... PLEASE!! As it is I have to clean up his house until I'm 75 and detail his car...

TANTI: Cori doesn't have a car.

CORI: Oh, right! Uhm, Misto? You can get me one of those too while you're at it....

MISTO: Yes your majesty.... (aside) Sheesh! A guy does a few little tuck spins with cats manacled to his wrists and you brand him a criminal for life!! It could have happened to anyone..

VERONI: Aside from the fact that you're the only cat who does them whenever he gets excited?

MISTO: (starts to move off) What about this song here! Must do now!! No more delays!!

CATS: (join in the refrain as the choir) EVERLASTING CAT! EVERLASTING CAT!

Who are you? What have you sacrificed?

Everlasting Cat Superstar

Do you think you're what they say you are?

TUGGER: (pushing through a pretty large group of kitties cluttering the stage now)

Tell me what you think about your friends at the top

Now who d'you think besides yourself's the pick of the crop?

Buddah, was he where it's at? Is he where you are?

Could Mohammad move a mountain or was that just P.R.?

Did you mean to die like that? Was that a mistake or

Did you know your messy death would be a record breaker?

TANTI, BOMB and JULIE: Don't you get me wrong!

TUGGER: Don't you get me wrong!

TANTI, BOMB and JULIE: Don't you get me wrong!

TUGGER: Don't you get me wrong!

TANTI, BOMB and JULIE: Don't you get me wrong now

TUGGER; DON'T YOU GET ME WRONG!!!

TANTI, BOMB and JULIE: Only wanna know

TUGGER: Only wanna know now!

TANTI, BOMB and JULIE: Only wanna know

TUGGER: Only wanna know now!

TANTI, BOMB and JULIE: Everlasting Cat... Everlasting Cat

Who are you? What have you sacrificed?

Everlasting Cat... Everlasting Cat...

Who are you? What have you sacrificed?

TUGGER: EVERLASTING CAT!!!!!! I only wanna know!!!! WHOA!!!!

(The techies are bouncing around in the booth and eventually abandon the booth to come dance in the aisles....)

TECHIES: TELL ME!!! TELL ME!!!

VERONI: (grabs Matt) DANCE TIME!!!! (sings) I ONLY WANNA KNOW!!!!

(All of Cassandra's relatives file out from backstage and start struting around)

RELATIVES: EVERLASTING CAT SUPERSTAR!!

ALL: Do you think you're---

TUGGER: (same time) Are you who they say---

ALL: --what they say---

TUGGER: Who they say---

EVERYONE: ----- YOU ARE???!!!!!!!

MATT: Wow! That was probably the most elaborate number done in a parody since "The Felinehood of Toms" in H2$! And it was all on...how much cash do we have?

TANTI: (looks in a tin carrying case) $3.99 and a catnip mouse.

MATT: Talk about stretching a dollar!

(So anyway, despite the big production number, Munkus ends up crucified as a result of the mob mentality...like you couldn't figure that out...)

MUNKU: Uh uh! No way! I AM NOT DOING THIS SCENE!

MATT: Relax, Munkustrap. It's not like the hanging scene. You'll be perfectly safe.

(So Munkus goes up on the cross...)

MUNKU: Everlasting Cat forgive them, they don't know what they're doing

Who is my mother? Where is my mother?

My Everlasting Cat, my Everlasting Cat, why have you forgotten me?

I am thirsty

BUSTOPHER: Well, I'm hungry!

MUNKU: It is finished

POUNCE: The parody's finished?! 'Bout time!

MUNKU: Father into your paws I commend my spirit

(Munku kicks the bucket...)

POUNCE: Actually, that was me. That dramatic lighting makes it REAL dark back here and one of our techies left their metal pail laying around.

VERONI: Probably was asking for that joke....

MUNKU: Alright. I'm dead. Now what?

VERONI: We have a sad end of show scene where your body is put in a tomb and stuff while the orchestra plays a slow version of "Gethsemane".

POUNCE: Eh heh. Silly me thinking we'd finished.

DEM: Yeah. Heaven forbid our invisible orchestra not get their chance to have their invisible glory.

VERONI: They are not invisible!!! They just.... don't..... choose to be seen....

MUNKU: Lameness.

(The orchestra plays sadly as we see the tomb closed and the lights fade to black)

(LOOOOOOOOOONG moment of silence)

VERONI: Guys? We could bring up the lights again, here!

TANTI: No can do. Fortune was on the lighting booth and kinda broke off the switch.

VERONI: Oh great. Beautiful.... feels something REALLY furry... Matt? That you?

MAC: NO! IT'S ME!!! And by the way, V, YOU'RE STANDING ON MY TAIL!

MATT: Oh boy. Hey Misto...think you could fix the lighting switch so we can all get out of here?

MISTO: (whose jacket lights up) Sure can. (zaps the lighting booth and the switch reattaches. The lights go up again...)

POUNCE: FINALLY! The parody's over!

MUNKU: And I had a blast!

JULIE: Er, Munkustrap, if I were you, I'd run NOW before your ego makes the other cats want to reprise Tugger's death scene.

MUNKU: Eep.

TUGGER: Follow me!! I've had plenty of practice making a break for it with those crazy kittens.....!