(It's another beautiful day in the Jellicles' junkyard...and the cats are slacking off again as Matt and Juliet enter.)

MATT: OK, time for more parody fun!

MUNKUSTRAP: Fun?

MATT: Oh yeah! We're doing "The Wiz" this time around!

POUNCIVAL: Didn't we do this one already?

MATT: Nope, that was "The Wizard of Oz", this is "The Wiz".

POUNCE: And the difference is?

MATT: The music here is a lot hipper than in the MGM film.

VICTORIA: Given his other favorite musicals, I refuse to believe that.

MATT: Give it a chance, it'll be fun! You'll see!

(A very irate Mistoffolees enters)

JULIE: Awww. He's so cute when he's mad!

MISTOFFOLEES: GRRR! Matt, I've been fairly good about being in these parodies...but I am NOT playing a dog again! Remember what happened in "You're A Good Tom, Munklie Brown"?

MATT: Misto, you'll be great. Besides, you don't do as much in this one as you did in "You're A Good Tom, Munklie Brown". And you get to do a neat little solo dance in the first act.

POUNCE: Oh boy. I'm heading for cover if he starts spinning.

MUNKU: When he does that, he's a feline tornado!

MATT: Now you're getting into the mentality for "The Wiz"!

ALL: Nice going, Munkustrap.

MATT: And besides, Misto, what I've got you doing isn't nearly half as bad as what I have planned for Mac...(Macavity walks in at that very minute)...oh, HELLO, Macavity! So good to see you!

MACAVITY: Uh, what is it you have planned for me?

MATT: Nothing... (whispers something in Misto's ear. Misto starts howling with laughter.)

MAC: What are you laughing at?

MISTO: (trying to regain his composure) Oh, nothing. We have a nice little surprise for you in this play!

MAC: Great. When you have a surprise, I end up in a body cast!

MATT: Don't worry, Macavity, it won't be THAT bad.

MAC: That's what you always say!

MATT: But anyway...enough talk, ACTION!

(Our story begins in a small farm house in Kansas. A middle-aged queen, Aunt Jellyem, is putting clothes on a clothesline. Suddenly, a small dog, Mistoto, runs across the stage, barking.)

MISTO: *sigh* ARF! ARF!

(The other cats are laughing hysterically at this.)

TUMBLEBRUTUS: Who knew Misto could speak in a foreign language?

(Mistoto's owner, Demothy, a young queen, chases after him.)

DEMETER: Mistoto! Mistoto, you come back here!

JELLYLORUM: Demothy...

DEM: Mistoto! You hear me?

MISTO: Good Heavyside, I hear you, I hear you! A deaf tom could hear you!

MATT: MISTO!!!

JELLY: Demothy, I been needin' help all afternoon!

DEM: Soon as I get Mistoto, Aunt Jellyem. (she spots him) Mistoto! (she chases after him, as her Uncle Gusry enters.)

GUS: You and Demothy at it again, Jellyem?

JELLY: Everlasting Cat, I don't BELIEVE that kitten!

MAC: And I don't believe that this surprise you have for me is a good one!

(Gusry leaves as Demothy returns holding Mistoto...)

DEM: Misto, how much do you weigh anyway! You're givin' me a hernia!

MISTO: I'm not that big! You're just too small to be lifting cats!

GUS: You'd better hurry up, a big storm is headed this way.

POUNCE: A storm? Great, we can take shelter and forget about the parody!

MATT: HE MEANT IN THE SHOW, POUNCIVAL...oyyyyyyyy!

JULIE: Excedrin, anyone?

DEM: Now what was it you wanted me to do?

JELLY: (picking up the laundry) I did it myself!

DEM: Oh.

JELLY: I wanted a hand with these here clothes before the storm blew 'em all away!

DEM: I'm sorry, Aunt Jellyem. I didn't...

JELLY: ...THINK! No, you never do, child. Now we're fixin' for a twister, and you're playin' games with that dog!

MISTO: I PROTEST! I'm a cat! I'm too coordinated to be a dog! I'm just playing a dog because our insane director saw it fit to strip me of my feline dignity.

JELLY: (who hasn't broken character) ...And in your Sunday dress, too! Serve you right if you BOTH blew away!

DEM: I imagine it would.

JELLY: What was that?

DEM: Aw, I'm not much help around here for you and Uncle Gusry. Always daydreamin' and stuff. I bet it'd be a big load off your back if I did blow away, wouldn't it?

JELLY: (playing head games with Demothy) I imagine it would.

DEM: It WOULD?

JELLY: Demothy, you know how much your Uncle Gusry and I love you, don't you?

(sings)

Put your arms around me child

Like when you bumped your shin

Then you'll know I love you now

As I loved you then

Though you may be trying sometimes

And I'll need you and you're not there

I may get mad and turn you away

But still I care...

POUNCE: Excuse me while I go lose my lunch. This song is getting too sickeningly sweet for me.

JELLY: (hisses at Pounce and continues) But you shouldn't ask for more

Than can come from me

I am different than you are

And one day you'll see

ETCETERA: I see something all right. I see that watching Jellylorum trying to do a heart-wrenching R & B song is like...like...um...

POUNCE: Watching Vanilla Ice try to do a legit rap album?

CET: YEAH!

(Well, since the kittens have already taken away from the moment here, let's just skip ahead, and anyone who knows from the original story of "The Wizard of Oz" knows what happens next...)

MISTO: Now THIS I can do. (waves his front paws around to create a whirlwind which sweeps Demothy and her front porch up, up and away...and finally ends as Demothy and the porch land with a crash on the stage as our fearless backstage cats have changed the set.)

(We are now in the land of the Munchkits, and Demothy doesn't know where she is...)

DEM: Aunt Jellyem! Aunt Jellyem! Where are you? Aunt Jellyem! Aunt Jellyem!

(Three small Munchkits survey the wreckage)

TUMBLE: Aunt Jellyem?

POUNCE: Aunt Jellyem?

CET: Aunt Jellyem?

JELLY: YOU'RE not Aunt Jellyem!

CET: Who's Aunt Jellyem?

DEM: Where am I?

SKIMBLESHANKS: In the middle of a parody which should have been aborted the minute Matt thought of doing it.

TUMBLE: In the land of Oz, where the Munchkits live!

(Anyhoo, to make a long scene short, we'll just say that the three Munchkits notice a pair of legs sticking out from under the front porch...they've killed the Wicked Witch of the East! During all the commotion, there is a puff of smoke and a jovial queen appears...)

JENNYANYDOTS: What's goin' on around here?

TUGGER: Haven't you figured it out YET? We're doing another parody, and teasing Macavity with the surprise we have for him.

MAC: What is it already?!

(The Munchkits introduce the queen who has magically appeared...)

MISTO: Thank me later for the special effects.

(...her name is Jennaperle, the Good Witch of the North.)

DEM: The Good Witch of the NORTH?

JENNY: Maybe you know me better by my stage name, Jennaperle the Feel Good Girl!

DEM: Your stage name?

JENNY: Yes, I have a magic act!

TUGGER: Well, she really doesn't, but due to Matt's blocking, Misto's character stands behind her at all times so it looks convincing.

JENNY: (after hissing at the Tugger) I do tricks!

CET: Does she ever! (rolls her eyes because she knows the truth)

JENNY: You better cool it, or I'll turn you into somethin'.

MISTO: More like "I'LL turn her into somethin'".

JENNY: Misto! Shut up and do something doglike, huh?

CET: Jennaperle, this kitten here, she done gone and set her house down on your sister Examene!

EXOTICA: WHAT?! ME??!!!

TUMBLE: That is old Examene, ain't it!

JENNY: (examining the wreckage) Oh, I'd know those tacky pantyhose of hers anywhere! THat means there's only three witches left in Oz...me, the Good Witch of the North, my sister Grizda, the Good Witch of the South...

MATT: Get ready, Mac, here comes your big surprise!

JENNY: Oh, you oughta see HER act, honey! And then there's...(grins at Macavity) MACAVILLENE...

ALL: MACAVILLENE!

MAC: WHAT???!!!!!

JENNY: The Wicked Witch of the West! Better watch out for her, she's a real downer!

MAC: Let me get this straight. I'M the Wicked Witch of the West!

MATT: That's right! *stifles a chuckle*

MAC: So that means...

MATT: Yep. Julie's got your costume.

MAC: How come I always get roped into the cross-dressing thing? I gotta get out of playing this part!

ALL: GOOD LUCK! (everyone laughs hysterically)