Veroni: **groans**

(We rejoin the action now with Misnoopy sitting on his doghouse in a long scarf and cap and goggles. You guessed it! Time for the famous flying ace stuff!)

Misto: (making airplane noises, clearly enjoying himself) Vrrrooom! Here's the World War One Flying Ace flying high over France in his Sopwith Camel, searching for the infamous Red Baron!

Pounce: If you wanted the pizza Misto, you could have just asked.

Misto: Huh?

Veroni: Red Baron as in the PERSON, not the frozen pizza brand!

Pounce: All the same to me.

Misto: (shrugs and continues) I must bring him down! Suddenly, anti-aircraft fire, Archie, we used to call it, begins to burst from beneath my plane. The Red Baron has SPOTTED ME! (stands up and wags a finger at a pretend airplane) NAH-NAH-NAH-NAH-NAH!!! YOU CA-AN'T HIT ME!!! Actually, tough flying aces never say "Nah-Nah"... I was just... eh... (sits down) OH drat this fog! It's bad enough to have to fight the Red Baron, than to have to try and fly in weather like this! Alright Red Baron, where are you? You can't hide from me forever.

Backstage Cats: (sing) Ah!

Misto: Ah, the sun has broken through. I can see the woods of Montsec below....

Pounce: Actually, buddy? That would be the stage floor.

Misto: (icy glare) But what's that?

Pounce: A piece of wadded up gum stuck on the floor!

Misto: (more glaring) IT'S A FOKKER TRIPLANE!

Pounce: It all looks the same to me....

Misto: (throws Veroni a "help me" look) HA! I've got you this time, Red Baron! (makes machine gun noises) AUGH! He's diving down out of the sun! He's tricked me again! I've got to run. Come on Sopwith Camel, let's go! Go, camel, go! GO!

Cats: (emerge in disco-type clothing) GO GO GO JOSEPH!

You know what they say!

Hang on now Joseph, you'll make it someday!

SHA-LA-LA Joseph you're still in your prime

You and your Dreamcoat ahead of your time!

Veroni: CUT IT OUT!

Misto: (groans and continues as best he can) I can't shake him! He's riddling my plane with bullets! CURSE YOU RED BARON! Curse you and your kind! Curse the evil that causes all this unhappiness! (the lights flicker and Misto makes crashing noises.... after a moment, he gets up and brushes himself off) Here's the World War One Flying Ace back at the aerodome in France. He is exausted and yet he does not sleep, for there are several cats sitting in the wings, still dancing to a disco song from an Andrew Lloyd Webber show.....

Veroni: HINT HINT! (shakes the curtains and several disco-dressed cats fall to the floor)

Pounce: We heard a word we knew! Sheesh!

(Scene change now.... thank the lord.... and Demally is standing, glaring at a report with a big red "D" written on it.)

Dem: OH YEAH?? That's what YOU think!!

Bomb: Dem, dear. This is no time to be difficult. I know you were an excellent student back in school, but---

Dem: THAT WAS IN THE SCRIPT, BLOCKHEAD!!!

Bomb: Oh. Then... never mind.

Cori: (walking by, stops) What?

Dem: That's my new philosophy! "OH YEAH?? That's what YOU think!"

Cori: Well, why are you telling me?

Dem: Huh?

Cori: WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME?

Dem: "Why are you telling me?"... I LIKE IT! That's a good philosophy! "Why are you telling me?".. "WHY are you telling me?"

Tugger: I certainly hope this is setting up a song, because otherwise I may have to declare a new winner of the weirdest conversation EVER award.

Dem: (sings) "Why are you telling me?"

My new philosophy!

The teacher gave a "D" on last week's homework!

She said, "Miss Demally Brown,

Your grades are going down!"

I COULD HAVE TOLD HER!

Cori: Your new philosophy?

Dem: My new philosophy!!

Cori: (skips ahead in the song just to keep life interesting) That's great Demally, but I have to go practice Chopin's Nocturne in B flat Minor.

(She blocks his way)

Dem: NO! (smiles) I like it! That's a good philosophy! NO! NO! NO!

Cori: That's your new philosophy, huh?

Dem: YES!! (Cori grins and she smacks her head) I mean, NO!

(sings again) Just like the busy bee,

Each new philosophy can fly from tree to tree

And keep me moving!

When life's a busy maze on alternating days

I choose a different phrase!

Cori: Your new philosophy?

Dem: MY NEW PHILOSOPHY!

Cori: Demally, some philosophies are simple:

"Man cannot live on bread alone"

Some philosophies are clear:

Dem: Get me out of this fic before I hurt someone?

Veroni: DEMETER!!!

Dem: Alright, alright!!

Both: Some philosophies pick and choose

Deciding what goes in it

Cori: SOME TAKE A LIFETIME!!

Dem: MINE TAKE A MINUTE!!

Cori: (sighs and speaks) But Demally! Anything that takes only a minute can't be very lasting! For instance, Beethoven took over two years to complete his brilliant "Ninth symphony"!

Dem: NO!

Cori: I CAN'T STAND IT!!! (races off)

Dem: "I can't stand it!" (thinks for a moment) I LIKE IT!

(sings again)

It's like a guarantee

My new philosophy!

And things are sure to be

A whole lot brighter!

"Oh yeah? That's what YOU think!".... "Why are you telling me?".... "NO!".... " I CAN'T STAND IT!!"

Now life is free and easy

Much more philosoph-easy!

With my brand new...

(speaks) You know, someone has said that we should live each day as if it were the last day of our lives!

Jenny: (overhears and runs across the stage in a panic) AHHHHHHHH! This is the last day?! I only have twenty-four hours left! HELP ME! HELP ME! This is the last day! AHHHHHHHHH!

Dem: (watches her run off) Clearly, some philosophies aren't for all people.

AND THAT'S MY NEW PHILOSOPHY!

(silence)

Dem: Uh guys? I took SO long to prepare that and you can't even applaud?

Veroni: I taped their mouths shut so they couldn't say anything during your song, which just happens to be one of my favorites.

Kel: I kinda like the quiet around here. Nice goin' V.

Veroni: Great. And to top it all off, a cameo by my annoying little sister.

Kel: Calm down! Calm down! I just came to see what's goin' on.

Cats: (muffled complaints)

Kel: Thanks. That made it ever so much clearer.

(Next scene, the gang is gathered on the baseball bench, preparing for the big game... There's some really fun dialogue that we'll skip in favor of a really cool song.)

(The stage is silent once more)

Veroni: OH! RIGHT! I better take that tape off...

(Makes a quick circuit with a pair of scissors and soon everyone is free)

Misto: (ala Yosemite sam) Oh I hate that director....

(The gang runs out in baseball gear and begin the game.... soon, the fate of the game rests squarely upon Munklie Brown's shoulders)

Munku: Typical. When we get in a spot, we call the TOMMY AWARD WINNING Munkustrap in to save the day!

Veroni: Yeah, but in this scene you're NOT HIM! In this you're "blessed-with-a-lack-of-coordination-and-any-skills-whatsoever" Munklie Brown!

Munku: (sings, clutching the bat anxiously) Two toms were on

With two outs and me with one strike to go

Others: (whispering) One strike.... one strike....

Munku: Then I saw her,

This cute little red-furred queen I know

Firmly I vowed I would win it for her

And I shouldered my bat and I swung!!!

(He swings and misses completely)

Others: AWWW!!!!

Munku: (pouts and kicks at the dirt) Dear Pen Pal

I'm told where you live is really quite far

Would you please send directions on how I can get where you are?

(takes out a piece of paper and signs it)

Jelly: OH ENOUGH WITH THE AUTOGRAPHS ALREADY, MUNKUSTRAP!!!

Veroni: Calm down! IT'S IN THE SCRIPT!!

Gus: Ack! My ears! Would you two stop yelling quite so loudly?

Veroni: You're a fine one to talk, Gus! You and your hearing aid...

Gus: I do not need a beer and maid!! THE IDEA!!! (storms off)

Veroni: Further illustrating my point.

Munku: (as he writes) Your friend, Munklie Brown.

(There is a cute little "crabbiness survey" scene that we'll skip since I can already see about a thousand ways for Jenny to mess with it. Instead, we cut ahead to Cori trying to gather the gang to sing a song for their school assembly the next day. He is explaining things to Demally when the rest of the gang storms in one by one.)

Jenny: (races in after Pounce) GIMME BACK MY PENCIL YOU BLOCKHEAD!!

Pounce: NO! Not until you give me back my crayons!

Jenny: That's my best pencil!! If you don't give me back my pencil, I'll telll Demally what you said about her!

Cori: STOP THAT! We have to rehearse!

Dem: WHAT DID YOU SAY ABOUT ME LINOUNCE??

Jemi: Sheesh! Dem, calm down!! I'm sure he wasn't THAT cruel about it.

Veroni: Jem... that was in the script!

Jemi: Whoops! My bad... (as she walks off) Well, it sounded like a normal enough arguement between those two...

Munku: (walks in with Misto in tow) Sorry I'm late. Misnoopy was--

Cori: NO TIME TO BE SORRY!

Dem: WHAT DID HE SAY??!!

Cori: QUUIIIEEET!!! Now, remember, this is a mood piece. We must paint a picture with music and words.... and CONCENTRATE!! Remember, adagio con brio!

All: (sing) Oh give me a home where the Buffalo roam

Where the deer and the antelope play...

Jenny: (singing in tune) Gimme my pencil!

All: Where seldom is heard a discouraging word...

Pounce: Not on your life!

All: And the skies are not cloudy all day.

Dem: If you don't tell me what you told Jenlucy I'm just going to SCREAM!

Jenny: Gimme my pencil you BLOCKHEAD!!

Tumble: And the sad thing? This actually sounds like one of our famous interrupted parody songs without anyone offstage having to say a darn thing.

All: HOME, home on the range....

Pounce: NO!

All: Where the deer and the antelope play

Pounce: Not until you promise not to tell her!

Jenny: What are you trying to do? Stifle my freedom of speech?

All: Where seldom is heard....

Jenny: GIMME MY PENCIL!

(They bop back and forth for a few more verses until Dem steals the pencil from Pounce and Corhoeder catches on...)

Cori: SING!!!

All: Flows leisurely down the stream!

Munku: (to Pounce) Why did you take Demally's pencil?

Pounce: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrgh! (storms off)

All: (despirately trying to keep the song going) Where the graceful white swan goes gliding along....

Dem: (to Jenny) WHAT DID HE CALL ME?

All: Like the maid in a heavenly dream.

Jenny: He said

He said you were an ENIGMA!!!

All: Home... home on the range...

Dem: AN ENIGMA??

Munku: An enigma?

Misto: An enigma?

Dem: BOY THAT MAKES ME... WHAT A TERRIBLE THING TO CALL A... What's an enigma? NEVER MIND! (storms off too)

Munku, Misto and Cori: Where the deer and the...

Jenny: What's an enigma?

Munku, Misto and Cori: Antelope...

Munku: What's an enigma?

Munku, Misto, Cori and Jenny: ..play.

Misto: What's an enig--

Jenny: HEY!! He's still got my PENCIL!! (she storms off like the others)

Munku, Misto and Cori: Where seldom is heard a discouraging word....

(Munku sees he is the only one left and sneaks away too.)

Cori: (sings, Misnoopy staring at him) And the skies are not cloudy all (sees EVERYONE'S gone)

Day.

Misto: Awwwroooo-ooo-ooooo-ooooo!

(Misnoopy gives Corhoeder a smirk and throws him a kiss. Corhoeder storms off)

Veroni: Nice job! That's one of my favorite songs!

Cori: YOU ALL MESSED UP MY SONG!!

Veroni: Calm down, Cori! It was just in the play... and anyway, now you know how I feel in these parodies!

(He storms out of the room after everyone else who already left when it said their character stormed out)

Veroni: HEY! WAIT!! We're not done yet!!!! COME BACK HERE!!!!! (chases after them)