Bal Lofy
The amazing new wonder product from Incorporated Inc.
What is Bal Lofy The Amazing New Wonder Product?
Bal Lofy The Amazing New Wonder Product is great! Bal Lofy The Amazing New Wonder Product is wonderful! Bal Lofy The Amazing New Wonder Product is the best thing you'll ever use!
What can Bal Lofy The Amazing New Wonder Product do for me?
Bal Lofy The Amazing New Wonder Product can do many things!
Why is Bal Lofy The Amazing New Wonder Product so wonderful?
Bal Lofy The Amazing New Wonder Product is so wonderful because it is made by little magical elves which we captured threatened to kill if they didn't put a little bit of their magic in every bite!
Will Bal Lofy The Amazing New Wonder Product work for me?
We are sure that Bal Lofy The Amazing New Wonder Product will work for you. In fact we are so sure that Bal Lofy The Amazing New Wonder Product will work for you because we tested it on cows and three-toed sloths who then quickly shot up the corporate ladder and now are the proud owners of that great coffee shop chain, Starbucks.
How do I use Bal Lofy The Amazing New Wonder Product?
STEP 1: Once you have your tube of Bal Lofy The Amazing New Wonder Product, quickly apply everything that's in the tube before it's too late!
STEP 2: Run back to the store and purchace another tube or buy our convenient six pack.
STEP 3: Repeat steps 1 and 3 until you are out of money.
STEP 4: Go on Oprah and talk about how well Bal Lofy The Amazing New Wonder Product worked for you so we can use what you said in a commercial.
What is the secret ingrediant in Bal Lofy The Amazing New Wonder Product?
Tomato Sauce.
If you have any questions about Bal Lofy The Amazing New Wonder Product, feel free to E-mail us
OR
If you have AOL Instant Messenger you can talk to us with the screenname ballofy
Your questions will eventually be posted here so keep checking back.
Brian M. of Lower Slobovia asks: How do I apply Bal Lofy to my sick aunt's bedpost? Are there any strings attached? Can I get it at Wal Martian?
Wow, Brian M. of Lower Slobovia, you're just full of questions. First of all, to apply Bal Lofy to your sick aunt's bedpost, play basketball, chase a weasel, and play that great game: Barrel of Monkeys. Yes, there are strings attached but they can easily be cut and do not worry, they WILL NOT attack you in your sleep to get revenge for being cut and they WILL NOT kill all of your family and friends and they WILL NOT chew bubble gum. Yes, you can purchase Bal Lofy at Wal Martian just as soon as someone figures out what that is you freaking idiot. So, Brian M. of Lower Slobovia, I hope we have answered your questions. After reading your letter Brian M. of Lower Slobovia, I believe I have successfully concluded that you are very, very stupid. You're the kind of person we need in management. Thanks for your questions!
Flutie and Evil of Bahcukkabahmunga ask: Can Bal Lofy help me find my missing spot?
No, but it might give you a new one, just as long as you don't eat it. If you eat it, make sure you don't drink pickle juice or play the piano. Also, be sure to cancel your subscription to Flamingo Water Polo Monthly. As for the rest of your letter, seek help. You two need immediate medical attention. Will somebody please give me a map and tell me where the shmegma Bahcukkabahmunga is? There is a little place near where you live where you get to sleep in a nice padded room, you get a nice new coat, and the people will treat you so well. You should also look into going back to first grade to learn how spell you freaking idiots. Thanks for your question!
Bret D. of Bingydale ask: If I put Bal Lofy on my grandmama will she sneeze? What happens when I put Bal Lofy on my grandmama's kentucky fried cookies? Will they sneeze? Can I apply Bal Lofy to a watery kangaroo who's just boxed a lemming? Does Bal Lofy taste good on food, especially tacos?
Yes, sadly, your grandmama will sneeze when you put Bal Lofy on her. SNEEZE INSANELY. I'm sure you're amazed to find out, but Bal Lofy is already on your grandmama's kentucky fried cookies. I mean really people, what's a good kentucky fried cookie with out Bal Lofy? It's just an iodized recalibrated fashionable slice of fish meat. Yes, they will sneeze. SNEEZE INSANELY. Yes you can apply Bal Lofy to a watery kangaroo who's just boxed a lemming. In fact, they prefer it. Yes, nice cool Bal Lofy after a tough lemming fight is very refreshing. It also goes well with pigeon feathers. Of course Bal Lofy is good on food, ESPECIALLY tacos. It is so good on tacos, that you will immediately go out, purchase a gibbon, construct a football stadium, use a public restroom, and play ping pong. You freaking idiot. Thanks for your questions!
A DIFFERENT Brian M. from A DIFFERENT Lower Slobovia asks: What can Bal Lofy do about my non-existant superfly? How do I know that you're not just rubbering a biftek? Huh? Do you remind me of someone? Does Bal Lofy require flossing or rinse and repeter?
Well, different Brian M, let me just start off by saying, you freaking idiot. With that said, let's get down to business. Bal Lofy can do many things for your non-existant superfly. Yep... That's right... lots of things. I'm not just rubbering a biftek because if I was rubbering a biftek, you would have spelled it correctly. Right after the Spam stopped doing squat thrusts. Your third question is a tough one...hmmm... I'd have to say that the little toy model of a flying speed bump is so outdated that it just won't pick up radio signals or icky tasting copies of fifty year old banjos anymore. Yes, I do remind you of someone. I look exactly like that guy one the show with the thing. You know, that guy. Bal Lofy requires minimal flossing and no rinse and repetering. You only have to floss Bal Lofy 53 times every 2.586 days. It's really not that much. And that's the complete flossing. None of this new fangled incomplete flossing. When I was your age, I had to floss the urban turtles... THE HARD WAY! Yeah you durn kids these days got it off easy. Thanks for your questions!
Bal Lofy: "The Amazing New Wonder Product" from Incorporated Inc. A division of Company Co.
