Italian TV Film Magazine
7 - 13 April, 2002
By Alberto Crespi
Translation by Luciana Piazza
The Fiennes are the classic "art-house" family. But if Ralph is a great actor, Martha is a discreet director and little is known about Magnus and Sophie, Joe should have become a gamekeeper like his twin Jacob.
Joseph Fiennes should blame his mother. For two reasons. The first is that she made him with his eyes too close, giving him a permanently stupid face: when, in "Killing me Softly", he should adopt the look of macho murderer, the theatre thunders with laughter. The second reason is that this lady gave birth, eight years before him, to a remarkable actor named Ralph, condemning Joe to the eternal "parenti serpenti" syndrome. Joseph is like Serse Coppi, Rolando Thoeni [Gustavo's cousin, not brother], Beppe Baresi, Ferruccio Mazzola: it's hard to have a brother, or a relation anyway, more or less your age, with an immensely superior talent. But Joseph beats all the models: Serse Coppi has won a Paris-Roubaix, Rolando Thoeni has won a medal in the olympics; Beppe Baresi, in spite of everything, has played in the Inter and been to the (football) nationals before his brother Franco. Joseph Fiennes has managed not to win the Oscar for "Shakespeare in Love" a film that resulted in statuettes even to the props. Maybe only Ferruccio Mazzola was as much of a fraud as he is.
When we reviewed the above mentioned "Shakespeare in Love", we wrote that Joseph Fiennes was the only living English who couldn't act. We are afraid we have to confirm this, which makes his life even sadder: if you have seen "Gosford Park" you know what we are talking about, the English have the best actors in the world. An English who acts badly is like a Scot who spends a lot of money, a Portuguese who always pays his ticket, someone from Florence who's ashamed to swear. What race of DNA is that, poor Joe? Perhaps he should have stayed with his twin Jacob, the only one in the family who's not into the arts. Also, do you know that the Fiennes are six siblings? More prolific than the Baldwins, the Phoenix, and the Arquettes, and almost as terrible: the yankee dinasties have thrown themselves to the sets, but in the Fiennes family, the "artists" are five out of six. Ralph (class '62) and our hero (from '70) are actors; Martha ('64) has directed only one film, not too badly, "Onegin" (99) starring Ralph. Magnus is a musician and Sophie is a producer, or so they say. Only Jacob has chosen a laudable career: he's a gamekeeper! ~Maybe he has taken after his father Mark, a photographer. The mother - Jennifer Lash - is [sic] a writer who must have passed the art bug to her children.
After his participation in the disaster of "Killing Me Softly", a film that would have been better not made (by everyone, starting by the director Chen Kaige and finishing with the ignorant audience), you will be able to admire Joe in "Dust", a Macedonian western by Milcho Manchevski who, after opening the Venice Festival in 2001, had to wait for six months to get a theatrical release. Little Fiennes confirms all his lack of talent.
Anyway, dear fans of Joseph Fiennes (for you must exist somewhere, and Wwf should protect you), stay calm: in 2003 the star will give us other dreams. He will play two legends like Martin Luther and Leopold Bloom (the anti-hero from "Ulysses" by Joyce). Where is the genius who has similar ideas? We can only say that "Luther" will be shot in Germany with the direction of Eric Till, and "Leopold Bloom" is currently being worked on by the director Mehdi Norowzian. Maybe these are all nicknames for Jacob, who might as well have decided: "If they let him act, and still pay him for it, why shouldn't I try to do it as well?"
[In case someone wants to send an email regarding this article to the magazine: filmtv@hditalia.it]
