PROLOGUE
This is NOT a true story, but all of the events that occur in this tale did actually happen.
The story serves as a darling reminder that there are plenty of sick fuckos out there.
MIASMA MAN
Miasma Man slopped home from work in his body-lemgth hat which rolled over his
shoulders and down over his elbows, knees, ankles and feet and continued on underground,
annoying all the undergound organisms that lived underground under the pavement, under
the ground. The STUPID hat trawled through the soil horizons like some wafting great big
drift net, only there weren't any dolphins living under the pavement to get caught up in
the net and for people to get shouty about. People couldn't care less that Miasma Man was
hoover fishing away all the underpavement organisms. Well they probably would care
but they just didn't know, so it wasn't like they could do anything about it, was it?
Miasma Man seeped into his dingy fag wagon which he called home, and shook off all
the earthy little bugs into a big tray. "Hmmm," he thought, "I'll eat those beasts later",
he said, only he hadn't moved his mouth and no sound had come out. He lost the ability
to talk since before he could remember. "No one talks to me," his mouth DNA thought, "so
why should we bother evolving this mouth?" and with that they promptly sealed his oracy
portal shut . Miasma Man found his niche early on on life. He inhabited a vacant social gap
in life. He could live without the fuss of other people, allowing him to slipstream through
life amd concentrate on his higher functions. Hos job was Barry Basic, which didn't
encroach on his psychic space, enabling himto operate on a higher mind level most
of the time. He spent as little time as possible on the survival aspects of life.
Instead of getting hassled in a local shop trying to buy a drink, he'd sit in a river absorbing
the water subconsciously, not once dipping down into lower brain frequencies. Same with eating.
He'd dig out some old photos of fields of barley or chaff and look at them for a while, which
would satiate his hunger.