THE RAT PACK REMEMBERED
By Rufus Twine
Showbiz reporter and socialite Rufus Twine writes exclusively for The Mandrill, recalling the Golden Age of Las Vegas, and the fifteen swinging playboys that made up The Coolest Gang In Town... The Rat Pack
'Jeez, that was a time! I was there pretty much every step of the way. Frankie was there, and Dino, and Sammy and the other ones. They'd been out drinking one night, and it was gettin' kinda late, and the'd been kicking Sammy around, and stealing his glass eye, and rolling it down alleyways, and all the crazy gags they used to do, boy they cracked me up, when Dino, who'd had a skinful, stumbled into this backlot behind some gin joint or other. Anyways, Frankie was about to goose him, when they saw this goddamn rat! Huge goddamn rat. Carrying a backpack. And Sammy, who'd cleaned off his eye, said "Hey, you guys! I think there's a show in that!" And they all stopped, and looked at each other, and picked Sammy up by his shorts. Later in the hospital, when Sammy was havin' all this dog doo cleaned out his eye socket, Sammy just laughed at that, yhey came around to the idea of all of them doing this show. You know, songs, a few jokes, Dino could do his balloon animals, all that shit, with that rat from the backlot as the finale!
'Couple of days later, Frankie was in his hotel room, doing his exercises, he used to do this exercise where he'd put his putz on the stove and do scales, to see if he could keep a note with his prick on fire, which was a situation he'd always feared might arise, when Dino and Sammy and the others arrived. Rather, they burst in when Frankie was, shall we say, al fresco. Frankie was fuming. He started cursing and throwing shit at them across the room. After that, Frank started to get guys in to look after him, Sicilian guys, if you know what I'm sayin'. But anyways, Dino had booked the Copa Rooms for that night, so they had to get some kind of show ready, seeing as he'd just bought a consignment of balloons from a Dutch connection. So Frank put out the fire with Sammy's new jacket, and he turned round, and I'll never forget this, he said "OK, let's do some kind of show!"
'So it's about 6 in the evening, showtime's about 11, half 11. Sammy and Peter Lawford had worked out this kinda plate spinning act, and Dino was gonna do this little bit with this balloon cow, and then sink a gallon of martinis. Frankie was still kinda undecided about what he was gonna do. He'd been toyin' with reading out this poem he'd written about his little cat, while Dino flashed different coloured lights at these giant shoes he'd had made up that looked like a cat's nostrils. Either that or he'd just get really, really drunk and stub cigars out on his ass.He was in two minds about the whole thing. It was the first time I'd ever seen Frankie in such a state.
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