Your fantasies get to come out in this one. Which MTV personality or artist would you like to go ten rounds with? No disqualifications--all out fight.
Twiggy: For this discussion, we have a special guest. Say "hello" to Jerry's friend, Choo-Choo.
Choo-Choo: What up?
Twiggy: How dare you take my line?
Choo-Choo: What? That's not your line. You don't have claim to any line.
Twiggy: Ass. Loyal visitors will know that I say "What up?" all the time.
Choo-Choo: Whatever.
Jerry: Get along, you two. Anyway. The topic for this breakdown is "which MTV personality or artist would you like to go ten rounds with?" Twig, let's start with you.
Twiggy: This is easy--Carson "Love me 'cause people think I'm cool" Daly.
Choo-Choo: Oh, hell yeah!!! I will beat his ass before Michael Buffer would be able to say his trademark line.
Jerry: Why won't you say it?
Choo-Choo: 'Cause I don't wanna get sued. He has that line trademarked.
Jerry: Oh. Well, yes. Carson is on everybody's hit list. He's on mine. I will also like to go ten rounds with Brian Mc"Fag"en. In fact, put him, Carson, and Dickhead Durst in the same ring and I will take them out at the same time.
Twiggy: Hell, yeah. I know Tae Kwon Do and I have a background in wrestling. I could hurt them.
Choo-Choo: You don't have a background in wrestling.
Twiggy: Yes, I do! An injury put me on the sidelines.
Choo-Choo: You are so lying.
Twiggy: Fine. Don't believe me. But I am telling the truth.
Choo-Choo: Whatever. But you are right about Durst. He's a slut and he needs to be taken out. I will do it. I will also like to take out Eminem.
Twiggy: Get in line.
Jerry: Are you sure you wanna do that? Eminem packs heat.
Choo-Choo: So? He will probably miss my ass. I'm too quick for him.
Twiggy: He'll probably get somebody else to whup your ass. He really can't do anything by himself. But, hey, you have to get behind all of the people who wants a piece of him. I agree with you all! Don't beat on him too hard! Save some for me!
Choo-Choo: Eminem is a punk. He has to say his insults in songs instead of to people's faces. Someone else to take out--that God-awful band, Papa Roach.
Jerry: Yo, Coby's crazy.
Choo-Choo: Not as crazy as me.
Twiggy: Or me.
Jerry: Who's crazier--Coby or Twig?
Choo-Choo: Me.
Twiggy: Me.
Jerry: Doesn't matter. Coby will probably hit you once and then scream at you the rest of the time.
Choo-Choo: Yeah. I'm down on the mat and he's standing over, screaming at me. I kick him in the nuts and he goes down.
Jerry: That's good. The same would go for Carson. One punch and he will go down quick.
Twiggy: Durst doesn't have the physical ability to keep up with me. Hell--neither of us.
Choo-Choo: If Wes tries to jump in, I will give him two shots to the head.
Twiggy: But let's not forget the real enemy--NSUCK! It will be an elimination match. I get each of them--one at a time. I want to have pleasure in beating them. I just might have an orgasm beating Justin.
Jerry: Don't you dare touch Lance.
Twiggy: Sorry. But he will be first.
Choo-Choo: Can I whup Justin? He's the one I hate the most. He is such a pretty boy.
Twiggy: Knowing him, he will probably stand outside the ring and file his nails, while his group mates--because they are not a band--get their asses kicked.
Jerry: Ooh! A curl is out of place! I need a mirror!
Choo-Choo: And he runs to the back and out of the arena to get a mirror. Will these bouts be televised?
Twiggy: No! They're gonna be on pay-per-view. I want to make money off of this.
Choo-Choo: You will probably make alot off the NSUCK fight.
Twiggy: That's the plan.
Choo-Choo: Yo! I just got a flash of me beating the evil, ugly troll out of NSUCK.
Jerry: That's Chris. He's not an ugly troll anymore. He cut those dreds.
Twiggy: Wannabe dreds. Those weren't real. Those were extensions.
Choo-Choo: You say he's not an ugly troll anymore. But is he still evil?
Jerry: He's not evil. I figured I answered the whole thing.
Choo-Choo: Right. Chris is evil and Lance isn't? Look at those eyes. Those are cat eyes. My cat has those eyes.
Twiggy: You have a cat?
Choo-Choo: I have a dog.
Jerry: But you just said you have a cat.
Choo-Choo: My sister has a cat. I have a dog. But it seems like the cat is mine. You've been to my house, Jerry. I take care of that cat. I should claim ownership.
Twiggy: I want to slap around Britney Spears for a bit.
Jerry: Too easy.
Choo-Choo: What do you want to slap her around for? To make her even more ditzier?
Jerry: That will be a quick fight. I think Christina Aguilera will put up more of a fight than Britney.
Twiggy: Yeah. Because she has a bit of Latin roots in her. Or so she claims. I saw her father. He does not look like the way I thought he would.
Jerry: Christina has to have dark hair because her parents have dark hair.
Twiggy: Duh. Her hair is white. Back when she was younger, her hair was a sandy blonde. Almost brown.
Choo-Choo: Maybe her mom dyed her own hair.
Jerry: No.
Choo-Choo: Yeah. Well, Twiggy shouldn't talk. Her hair isn't naturally red.
Twiggy: So, I dye my hair. I do it all the time. You do, too.
Choo-Choo: So? Everybody likes my new hair color.
Twiggy: Whatever. I wonder if I could get Puff Daddy in the ring?
Choo-Choo: No. He packs heat. Now, unless you come with some protection of your own, then you will be fine.
Jerry: Better yet, Jennifer Lopez will jump in.
Choo-Choo: Then her sister, Lynda, will jump in.
Twiggy: The Sisters Lopez will be barred from ringside. That's the same rule for whoever has a running buddy. When I whup Eminem's ass, Dre will have to stay in the back. When I whup Durst's ass, Carson, Mc"Fag"en, and the rest of the Limp Bizshit clan will have to stay in the back.
Choo-Choo: I wanna stomp a mudhole in Kid Rock.
Jerry: Another fight that Carson will throw himself into. Carson will probably try to distract you and Kid Rock will come up from behind.
Twiggy: Carson won't be able to come out. He'll be too busy being carried out by the EMT's after I beat him.
Jerry: Kid Rock will probably try to share a beer with you, Chooch.
Choo-Choo: Kid Rock will be too drunk to fight and I'll take him with one punch.
Jerry: Watch out for Joe C.
Twiggy: I'll have him tied up in the back. He won't interfere.
Choo-Choo: Wow. You're gonna help me out?
Twiggy: Yeah. Kid Rock needs his ass kicked! He is not a pimp!
Choo-Choo: What about his girlfriend?
Twiggy: I'll have her tied up somewhere, too. Kid Rock is so stupid. Pimps don't have girlfriends.
Jerry: How did he get a girlfriend? He likes to hang with porn stars with his friend, Dickhead Durst. Plus, he's nothing to look at.
Twiggy: Well, to sum things up--anyone that has anything to do with Carson "Dumbass" Daly should get a beating. Including Carson himself.
Jerry: Yep.
Choo-Choo: So--should Tara Reid get a beating for being with Carson?
Jerry: Isn't she a drunk? I heard she can't hold her liquor.
Twiggy: Makes sense since Carson has been promoting the joys of beer, lately.
Choo-Choo: To all the 10 year olds that watch Total Request Live?
Twiggy: Yep.
Choo-Choo: He is such an ass.
Jerry: Duh.