We're gonna turn "teeny" for this little discussion. Me and Twiggy are gonna talk about wrestlers--the hot ones.
Jerry: All right. Name a wrestler that you think is hot, Twig.
Twiggy: Fine. I have two--Matt and Jeff Hardy.
Jerry: No! Jeff's mine! Girl, I will fight you for him.
Twiggy: Bring it on, then! I will fight you to the death for him.
Jerry: You can't have Matt. He's with Lita. And remember, Lita is your girl.
Twiggy: I know. I can't do anything to her. I'm so happy she won the Women's Championship. It was a long time coming. Now, your guy, Jericho--
Jerry: What? What do you have to say about Chris Jericho?
Twiggy: Nothing. He's great and funny. Wish I was there when he did that "Man of 1004 Holds" thing in WCW where he named all 1004 of his holds. That had to be funny when I read about it and laugh. He was naming the holds and they went to commercial. When they came back from commercial, he was still naming the holds. I'm laughing just thinking about it.
Jerry: Yeah. Jericho's great. And he's hot, too.
Twiggy: And married.
Jerry: Not just "married". He's a newlywed! He got married without being with me first. I saw the pictures. He looked great on his wedding day. I really couldn't see a good shot of the bride. I just know it wasn't me!
Twiggy: Calm down, girl. First, you freak out about not getting the TV Guide with Jericho on the cover. Now you're freaking out about his marriage. Leave him alone.
Jerry: Which cover did you get?
Twiggy: The Kat.
Jerry: See?! You got a good one! Why not me?
Twiggy: What if I had Jericho? What would you do?
Jerry: Go to your place and take it. No one would notice it missing.
Twiggy: Now, you have a pretty shameful--in my opinion--crush. Actually, you have two but we'll get to the other one later. Right now, it's---
Jerry: Shane McMahon. Another married guy, might I add. Why is it that every guy I think is hot is married?
Twiggy: Shane?! Ewwww! Every time I see him, I wanna kick him in the stomach. Why?!
Jerry: Why Jeff? Why Matt?
Twiggy: You are not blind, girl. Come on.
Jerry: No. For real. Why Matt? I don't think he's very attractive.
Twiggy: He might not be Jeff, but there is something to him. Maybe it's the high risk manuevers? Or the way he protects his brother? Or the fact that he's older than Jeff? I don't know. Maybe it's the multi-colored hair. Guys with multi-colored hair turns me on.
Jerry: Hey! We gotta keep this PG!
Twiggy: I'm sorry. But when I see Matt and Jeff, I just feel funny. I get turned on! They're such hotties!
Jerry: Ooh. I gotta write this down. Twig totally turned teeny. Whoa. Try to say that fast ten times.
Twiggy: At least I turn teeny for guys that are worth it, Miss I-think-Shane McMahon-and-Lance Bass-are-hot. Don't think I was gonna let you get away with that!
Jerry: I think Lance from NSYNC is hot and Twig hates me for that.
Twiggy: Of course I hate you for that! I'm on an "End NSYNC" Campaign and you think Lance is hot! I'm close to disowning you, girl.
Jerry: Give me another chance!
Twiggy: I almost disowned you for admitting you have a crush on Shane McMahon and now you are admitting to a crush on Lance. I'm gonna give you one more chance.
Jerry: Thank you!
Twiggy: Don't blow it.
Jerry: I'll try not to.
Twiggy: Any hotties in WCW?
Jerry: Billy Kidman. I go nuts for that guy.
Twiggy: You like the short men.
Jerry: What?!
Twiggy: In height.
Jerry: Oh. PG, Twiggy. PG.
Twiggy: Whatever. You think Billy Kidman's hot?
Jerry: Sorry he's not Matt and Jeff.
Twiggy: He will never be Matt and Jeff. Leave them alone.
Jerry: I didn't say anything. I love Jeff, too.
Twiggy: Let's close this discussion. To sum it all up, you, Jerry, have horrible taste in men.
Jerry: Jeff is horrible taste?
Twiggy: Other than Jeff and Jericho, horrible taste.
Jerry: I think other people out there will agree with my choices.
Twiggy: Mm-hmm.