This is a story that was written by I, The Twig, Jerry, and our gal pal, Baby Hugs. There's also an appearance by our good friend, Choo Choo. The subject is what would happen if we ran into NSUC--I mean, NSYNC. What would we do? What would we say? Read on, and you will find out...
It's a windy and cold night as Jerry, Twiggy, and Baby Hugs are walking down the street. Jerry and Baby Hugs are walking ahead of Twiggy, who is dragging behind.
Jerry [turning around]: Come on, Twig!
Twiggy: I don't want to do this.
Baby Hugs: Why not? You know you're slowing us up, right?
Twiggy: That's the point.
Jerry [walking up to Twig and pulling her along]: I know you wanna see NSYNC.
Twiggy: Yeah! They ruinied music and for that, they must pay!
Baby Hugs: Whoa. Did I just see fangs grow?
Twiggy: You might have.
Jerry: Quit playing. Choo-Choo said to meet him in an hour. We're ten minutes late.
Jerry, Twiggy, and Baby Hugs darts through an alley and walks up to the back of a bulding. There, Choo-Choo was hanging out of the back door. The three ladies saw him and walked up to him, but Choo-Choo stopped them by throwing his watch in their faces.
Choo-Choo: You're late. You almost missed them. Are you ready?
Twiggy [singing]: "Are you ready? Are you ready? For what's to come... Hmm. I wonder if NSUCK has heard of Creed?
Jerry: Shut up. And they have. Anyway. I'm ready.
Baby Hugs: Me, too.
Choo-Choo: You can't go in there with that gun.
Baby Hugs: This is not a gun. It's a BB gun.
Twiggy: Psssh. A BB gun ain't gonna do anything. What you need is a stun gun. [Twig pulls out a stun gun]
Jerry: Put that away.
Twiggy: No!
Choo-Choo: You're gonna have to if you wanna come in here.
Twiggy: Fine.
Choo-Choo: Are you all dressed appropriately?
Baby Hugs: Clevage-baring tops?
The three ladies: Check!
Jerry: Mini skirts?
The three ladies: Check!
Twiggy: Thigh-high boots?
The three ladies: Check!
Choo-Choo: Condoms?
Everyone stops to look at Choo-Choo.
Choo-Choo: There are hot women in there and I plan on getting some action tonight. "Action..."
Twiggy: Shut your dumbass up and let us in.
Choo-Choo: Come on. Let's go.
Choo-Choo led Jerry, Twiggy, and Baby Hugs into the club. They walk in and hear hip-hop music blasting. Jerry, Twiggy, and Baby Hugs looked around the crowded club. Choo-Choo nudged Jerry in the arm and pointed.
Choo-Choo: There they are. Well, at least one of them.
Jerry looked in the direction where Choo-Choo was pointing. She saw Justin Timberlake sitting on a stool at the bar. Jerry grabbed Twiggy and Baby Hugs and turned their heads into that direction.
Twiggy: Damn. Damn. Timberdick. The one I wanna see the most. [Twig pulled out her stun gun and tried to go towards him, but Jerry pulled her back] What is your problem?
Jerry: You can't do that.
Choo-Choo: Where did you pull out that stun gun from anyway? You don't have any place to hide it. You're spilling out of your top and your skirt is so short I can see your ass cheeks.
Twiggy: Wouldn't you like to know where I pulled out my toy from?
Baby Hugs: Will you all--ooh!
Choo-Choo, Jerry, and Twiggy turned around to look at Baby Hugs. She was stopped in mid-sentence and that never happens. They turned around to see Joey Fatone with his arm around Baby Hugs.
Twiggy: Fat-ass!
Joey: What?
Choo-Choo: Nothing. Yo, Joey, what's up?
Joey: Hey, Choo-Choo! I didn't know you were gonna be here tonight!
Choo-Choo: I didn't know either. I see you made a friend.
Joey: Yeah. [Joey turned to face Baby Hugs] What's your name?
Baby Hugs: Baby.
Joey: Really? Cool. [Joey pulled Baby Hugs closer to him] You want a drink?
Baby Hugs: Well---
Twiggy: Get your hands off her!
Joey: Chooch, who are your friends?
Choo-Choo: Well, you know Baby. The redhead is Twiggy and the brunette is Jerry.
Joey: Hmmmm. Jerry, Twiggy, and Baby. You all ready to party?
Jerry: Hell, yeah.
Joey: Good. Let me get us some drinks. [Joey walked off with his arm still around Baby; Baby reached out to Choo-Choo, Jerry, and Twiggy, but they just walked behind her]
Twiggy: Joey looked at me up and down. Ewww! I feel dirty.
Jerry: Please. Feel for Baby. Joey has his hands all over her. [Jerry looked around the club and saw a certain blonde trying to make his way through the crowd] Lance!!!
Choo-Choo and Twiggy turned around and saw Lance Bass trying to make his way through the tight crowd.
Jerry: My god, it's Lance! You'd think they would make a path for him! Twig, give me your stun gun!
Twiggy: Hells, no. This is for Timberdick only.
Choo-Choo: Come on. Joey and Baby are already at the bar waiting for us. Justin's over there. In fact, he is talking with Baby.
Twiggy: Let's go! Timberdick has a meeting with my stun gun.
Twiggy was dragging Jerry towards the bar. Jerry was too busy looking at Lance trying to get through the crowd.
Twiggy: He'll be fine. Come on.
Choo-Choo, Twiggy, and Jerry walked to the bar with Choo-Choo leading the way. They made it to the bar and saw that Joey still had his arm around Baby Hugs. Joey greeted them and handed them all drinks.
Joey: Here you go. [Joey tapped Justin on the shoulder] Hey, Justin, look who's here!
Justin: Yo, Choo-Choo! What up, Brah?
Choo-Choo: I'm chillin'. And you?
Justin: I'm cool. Met Joey's friend over here. She's pretty cool. Baby, right?
Baby Hugs: Yeah.
Justin: So, Choo-Choo, who are these beautiful women you're with?
Choo-Choo: The redhead is Twiggy and the brunette is Jerry. Twig is your biggest fan.
Justin: Really?
Twiggy: That I am.
Jerry: Don't listen to her! She's lying.
Justin: What?
Choo-Choo: Nothing. Twig and Jerry came with Baby.
Justin: So Joey stole Baby away from ya'll?
Jerry: Pretty much, yeah.
Justin: Joey--
Joey: Hey. I saw something I liked so I went for it. [Joey turned to face Baby] You got legs and breasts and they're both made of brass.
Baby Hugs: Thank you. I guess.
Twiggy: What the fuck was that?! That alcohol is starting to kick in.
Jerry: That sure didn't make any sense.
Twiggy: What else is new? Nothing that comes out of Joey's mouth makes any sense.
Justin: You know what's funny? Twiggy, you are a redhead; Jerry, you are a brunette; and Baby, you are a blonde. Was that planned?
Choo-Choo: No. You see, they're all natural brunettes and---
Baby, Jerry, and Twiggy: Shut up!
Joey: They don't like you telling their secrets, Chooch.
Justin: How long have you all known each other?
Jerry: Me and Choo-Choo have known each other our whole life. I introduced him to Twig and Baby.
Baby Hugs: The whole neighborhood gang was us.
Twiggy: We traveled around in packs so we learned how to fight better.
Choo-Choo: Hells, yeah!
Justin: Whoo!! I got into it. [Justin looked behind Choo-Choo and noticed someone he knew] Hey! Come over here!
Choo-Choo, Twiggy, and Jerry slowly turned around and saw none other than JC Chasez walking towards them and the bar. JC stopped and slapped hands with Choo-Choo. He then sat on the stool next to Justin.
JC: What up, Chooch, Justin, Joey, and three lovely ladies?
all: What up, JC?
JC: I know everybody but the women so--
Jerry: I'm Jerry.
Baby Hugs: Baby.
Twiggy: And I'm cute.
JC: That you are.
Twiggy: What?
Choo-Choo: She's Twiggy. Check out her gravel pit.
Twiggy [while taking shots at Choo-Choo]: I am gonna kick your ass when we leave here!
Choo-Choo: Bring it!
JC: Twiggy---
Jerry: We call her "Twig" for short.
JC: Twig, can I buy you a drink?
Twiggy: Okay. [Twig gulps down her last drink and slams the glass down on the bar] Hit me.
Choo-Choo [in a sing-song way]: JC likes Twiggy! JC likes Twiggy! JC likes Twiggy!!
Jerry: Hush up.
Choo-Choo: Well, it's true. He agreed that she's cute.
Jerry: I think he knew she was kidding.
Choo-Choo: I don't think so.
Choo-Choo and Jerry turn around to see Twiggy dancing in front of JC. JC grabs Twiggy by the waist and pulls her closer to him. Twiggy backs away from JC and goes back to dancing. JC watches her with a smile on his face.
Choo-Choo: Holy crap! Is she drunk?
Jerry: I don't know. But I think JC is kind of sweet on her. Just like how Joey is kind of sweet on Baby.
Jerry motions Choo-Choo to look toward Baby and Joey. While Baby is trying to have a conversation with Justin, Joey is kissing the back of her neck. Baby turns around and grabs Joey by the throat.
Joey: Whoa! I can't talk! What's goin' on?!
Baby Hugs: The Tongan Death Grip. Do not put your lips on me. I don't know you.
Choo-Choo: Let him go, Baby. He needs that voice to sing. [Baby lets Joey go; Joey falls back into the bar, holding his neck]
Joey [with raspy voice]: Whoa. I love aggressive women.
Baby Hugs: I'm going to dance. [Baby looks around the bar and grabs a random guy] Come on, you. We're dancing.
Jerry: Baby?
Baby Hugs did not hear Jerry. She pulled the random guy out onto the dance floor and started grinding with him. A light shined on the guy's face and Baby realized who she was dancing with--Chris Kirkpatrick.
Baby Hugs: Oh, my god. Crazy ass.
Chris: What?
Choo-Choo: Nothing. What up, Chris?
Chris: Choo-Choo! Where's the train?
Choo-Choo: You are so goofy. Baby, what did I tell you about just grabbing anybody and dancing with them?
Baby Hugs: Absolutely nothing.
Chris: Your name is Baby?
Baby Hugs: Yes.
Chris: I saw Joey all over you. That was cool what you did. What was that called?
Baby Hugs: The Tongan Death Grip.
Chris: How do you do that?
Baby Hugs: Oh. I'll show you. [Baby grabs Chris and starts to demonstrate] All you have to do is grab the part of the neck where the vocal chords are and squeeze real hard. You'll have people screaming within seconds. [Chris screams]
Choo-Choo: Let him go! He needs his voice, too!
Baby Hugs: Oops. I'm sorry.
Chris [with raspy voice]: Yeah. I need my voice. Take out Justin or JC so I can get more solos.
Baby Hugs: Done deal. [Baby starts to head back to the bar, but Choo-Choo grabs her]
Choo-Choo: Baby, no!
Chris: Let her go, Chooch!
Choo-Choo: No! She is gonna do some damage.
Chris: I like her. [Chris grabs Baby and puts his arm around her] She's my new best friend.
Baby Hugs: Joey's looking pretty pissed, now.
Chris: Fuck Joey.
Baby Hugs: Yeah.
Chris: Who's that chick that's giving JC a lapdance?
Baby Hugs: That's Twiggy. She came with us. Don't worry. I think she's drunk.
Chris: What? She gives free lapdances when she's drunk?
Baby Hugs: To tell you the truth, I don't know.
Chris: JC's enjoying it.
Choo-Choo: JC's kinda sweet on Twiggy.
Chris: Really?
Choo-Choo: Yeah. He saw her and he was like "I want her".
Chris: Looks like JC might get some.
Baby Hugs: There's a great possibility that JC might get some.
Choo-Choo: If Twiggy decides to give some up. You know how she is.
Baby Hugs: Yeah. She doesn't give it up to just anybody.
Chris: Would she give it up to me?
Baby Hugs: Maybe.
Chris: Even if I ask very nicely?
Baby Hugs: Hmmm...maybe.
Chris: Even if I'm on my hands and knees and I have a box of chocolates in one hand and a bouquet of flowers in the other?
Baby Hugs: Now, I might give it up to you if you did that.
Chris: Well, I have to go to the store. I'll be back. Just kidding.
Baby Hugs: I like him. He's silly.
Meanwhile, back at the bar...
Joey: Chris is hitting it off with Baby. I'm gonna kick his ass.
Justin: Joey---
Joey: She's mine! I saw her first!
Justin: Here. Have a drink and watch the show that's going on between JC and Twiggy. They're gonna have sex on the stool. Right next to me.
Joey: You have front row seats.
Twiggy is still dancing in front of JC when he grabs her by the waist again. He pulls her face close to his so he could kiss her, but Twiggy pushed JC away and went back to dancing. Jerry walks over, grabs Twiggy, and pulls her out onto the dance floor. JC turns towards the bar and sees that Justin has just put a drink down in front of him. JC takes the drink and watches Jerry and Twiggy on the dance floor.
Jerry: What are you doing?
Twiggy: I'm trying to dance, but JC keeps grabbin' me.
Jerry: Are you drunk?
Twiggy: I'm totally sober. I only had two drinks. I don't get loaded that easily. I'm not Fancy.
Jerry: Right. Well, it looks like you were giving JC a lapdance.
Twiggy: No. I don't do that. What the hell is wrong with JC? How could he fall for me so quick?
Jerry: The same way that Joey fell for Baby. He's pissed that she's hanging with Chris right now.
Twiggy: Baby's with Chris?
Jerry: Yeah. [Jerry points to the middle of the dance floor where Baby, Chris, and Choo-Choo are dancing]
Twiggy: Wow. She's moved on, hasn't she? And Joey is not a happy camper. [Joey walks by Jerry and Twiggy; Justin is right behind Joey] Where's he goin'?
Jerry: Ut-oh. [Jerry takes off behind Joey and Justin; Twiggy starts to go, but JC grabs her by the arm]
JC: You're coming with me. [JC grabs Twiggy and pulls her off the dance floor; Twiggy tries to grab someone, but no one is around]