Everybody should sometimes decide "It's Spring!"
Everybody should have an apple to take.
But mostly, everybody should have a friend
-Elyse Fusare
I am alone...and lonley
My own sadness makes everything around me more beautiful.
The dusk falls softly,
As simply as a page turns or a bird lightly on the ground.
The sky grows dull rose near the roof tops.
And, high above me, a sea-blue-green.
I am caught up in it all- and small
I search for words. I ache with words I can not find.
Inside the phone rings.
"where is Elyse" dad asks.
I am here- but I say nothing.
He calls- I do not answer.
"she's not in yet" he says to someone "I'll thell her you called"
I could go in soon, it will be supper time anyway.
Time for eating and talking and being part of things,
Belonging again to the horriable,boring nice, funy,noisy,busy,loving world of people.
I'll go in when I have to.
In a half an hour, I'll even like it.
Now...
now I'll stay out here, hugging my seprateness, my ownness.
I am alone. I am lonley
I am growing into me.
-Elyse Fusare
If only you could see the pain inside..
the way I wish I would have died..
the way I sit here and want to cry..
the way that I love you like no other..
And the way I see myself,
The way I see everything,
and the way I see my life..
then maybe you would understand me....
But never say you do beacuse I no you dont,and I no you never will
The pain I have inside is like no other,
this shit sucks but you dont have to suffer,
Please dont try and to understand me,
Please dont because you will get hurt,
please just be there to hold me,
and be there to love me like no other,
Don't be there because you want to see,
Be there for what you want to be,
Be there when I want you too,
There to hold me close,
and to love me so,
So I'll just sit and wonder why,
And cry until I die, just knowing you will never know, the pain I felt inside .
