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The Development Of A Coffee Snob
Copyright 2014 Christina M. Guerrero
First published at Suite.io
DEDICATION
This is for coffee.
STORY BEHIND THE STORY
Joy.
ABOUT THE DRAFTS
First draft:
Needs work. Needs clarification. Getting there.
As a child I did not understand why coffee was a daily beverage because it did not taste as good as it smelled.
This attitude lasted well into adulthood. Even in college, I still did not comprehend why the drink was so popular.
For many years after graduation, I remained unimpressed. I would have a sip now and then but I would grow frustrated with the taste, and not even finish a small cup.
Once in a while I would have a drink that was properly prepared. However, for the most part, I had only an occasional hot latte or iced drink.
Then, in the summer of 2001, I decided to try a blended drink. It was hot, and I wanted something more substantial than water. The drink was refreshing, and thoroughly satisfying.
Later that year I developed a habit of having coffee once a week: a latte, or a mocha, and sipping it while attending to various duties.
The habit stuck, through good times and bad. If I could not afford the drink I’d do my best to have some coffee at home, along with milk to make lattes on my own.
I developed both an appreciation and anticipation for the weekly drink, and for the coffee itself. My taste buds -- not always my keenest sense -- grew more sophisticated; and gradually I was able to detect the good stuff from the bad stuff.
One day I went to prepare a drink at home and was disappointed to find out, after opening the package, that the coffee smelled rancid and spoiled -- like something meaty. I did not want to know who or what had been tampering with it; I just got rid of it. Likewise for another package that smelled like pesticides. Since then, I do not regret throwing away anything that smells even remotely suspicious. Life is too short to be poisoned by improperly packaged coffee.
Coffee should not smell like meat or chemicals. It should smell similar to freshly-sawn wood or roasted cedar chips, or chocolate mixed with hints of citrus. In order to prevent spoilage, coffee companies recommend keeping ground beans for only a week. I can’t afford to do that, plus I don’t drink THAT much coffee, but I am happy with my ability to keep my own packages fresh until they are empty.
Now, because of these experiences, I judge all straight coffee and coffee drinks when I’m out and about. I judge them, and realize I was judging all along, even as a child.
Usually others’ attempts at preparing coffee are acceptable. Sometimes the drinks are not what I’m expecting: recently an espresso con panna appeared to have a thin film of steamed milk over massive quantities of something that may or may not have been caffeinated espresso. I laughed but didn’t go back because the place was busy and there were other problem customers for the baristas, who did not look like happy campers.
Once, while traveling, I asked for decaf in one of my drinks, and got a frantic buzz from it. I suspected the barista deliberately gave me regular coffee with caffeine, and had this suspicion confirmed after doing research on what is ordered versus what one receives. I found out that baristas will either “decaf” you or “caffeinate” you depending on your attitude or manners, or on any order that is abnormal to the average barista. Despite the game-playing -- the barista probably found my order to be a joke -- the drink was satisfying.
Outside of coffee shops and my own kitchen, I am not keen to taste others’ coffee, which is often too weak, or it smells like bug spray, or it’s too old, or the coffee pot looks like it has not been cleaned in years ... or because of any of a number of issues.
Nowadays I am a coffee snob.
Truly ... I never thought that would happen. I’m so sorry.
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