christinamguerrero.com ~ the official site ~
Harassment
Copyright 2014 Christina M. Guerrero
DEDICATION
N/A
STORY BEHIND THE STORY
N/A
ABOUT THE DRAFTS
Draft Four: Ready for an editor
DISCLAIMER
I am not a lawyer.
This is my experience, and my opinion.
When the harassment began, I was confused.
The content of the harassment was so far removed from my reality, and so irrelevant, that I felt confused and almost apathetic. What did this have to do with me?
My world needed to be set right. This was not acceptable. The harassment needed to stop, and I needed to get back to the business of living.
Before taking drastic action, I asked: Whom are you addressing? What exactly is going on?
I had hoped to hear: “This is not about you. And you are not being addressed. Nothing is going on. There is no problem. This has nothing to do with you, and it will cease as of this moment. What can be done to ease the pain and suffering caused?”
I asked several times in several ways, waiting to hear that answer.
When that did not happen, I made it clear: the harassment had to stop because it was disturbing my peace, and it was irrelevant, and it was a nuisance, and it was interfering with my life.
After some thought, I contacted law enforcement and sought legal counsel.
They told me that many solutions were possible, in terms of handling the harassment. The pros and cons of each possibility were outlined and explained in detail.
We started with summarizing the basics of what it means to be harassed.
Harassment is when a perpetrator does or says things that are annoying, or that would cause a reasonable person to feel annoyed, uncomfortable, afraid, or worse.
Harassment includes, but is not limited to: unnecessary and/or excessive phone calls; unnecessary and/or excessive text messages; unnecessary and/or excessive personal contact; being irrelevant in general at length and not stopping when requested; not leaving after being asked to leave; repeatedly asking the same question or saying the same things despite being asked to stop; repeatedly doing things that are not welcome or solicited; and other activities that would be considered annoying or upsetting or fearful to the average person.
Law enforcement and legal counsel explained that a common trick among perpetrators is to:
1. create a hostile environment through harassment
2. wait for their targets/victims to get upset enough to ask why they are being harassed
3. the perpetrators then get irritated and ask the targets/victims why they are upset, and why do they need things explained, and issues resolved, etc.
4. the perpetrators then “believe” they, meaning the perps, are being “harassed” by the outraged reactions from their targets/victims
5. by “believing” this, the perpetrators try to turn the tables and blame the targets/victims for what has happened.
In general: communicating with, contacting, or sustaining contact with others in a way that would annoy the average person, without a clear purpose in mind, is harassment.
Even when a clear purpose is explained ... if someone is then annoyed or unwilling to be contacted and makes it clear that no further communication is welcome, there is a risk of harassment on the perpetrator’s part. Basically: if you are told to “cease and desist” using those words or similar words (“Stop saying that,” “stop doing that,” “Leave me alone,” “You’re going to have to leave now,” “I told you I am not willing to discuss that,” “We have already discussed that, and I don’t want to talk about that anymore,” etc.), then it would be in your best interest to stop immediately.
After considering all of this, I made it clear to all the perpetrators: The harassment would stop, or I would have to get the law involved.
Since then, there has been little to no harassment.
I remain confused by why it all ever happened.
BACK TO JOURNALISM - * - BACK TO ARCHIVES