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Babel On Bitches |
WHAT A PIECE OF SHIT MOVIE!
Yes, that’s right. Piece of shit movie. I don’t care if Ebert masturbates to it, I don’t give a shit if the foreign press wants to make it the best picture of 2006, and I don’t give a shit if my girlfriend thinks it is oh so interesting. It was a piece of shit.
First off, how this movie was nominated for Best Picture in both the Globes and Oscars is beyond me. The movie was a tragic look at what happens when you make bad decisions. They said the title was a reference to the Tower of Babel in the bible. But the movie should have been renamed Babble because that is what it was. A babbling piece of shit.
OK why do I feel this way? First off, the fact this movie was 2.5 hours long was like sitting in a shower waiting for the water to come out, but it just drips. Although I will admit there were some good scenes, it was very slow moving. You have these two kids, one of them who like to see their sister naked, and the sister likes the brother to see her as well. They might as well bang each other losers. Then the same idiot kid jerks off a few minutes later, only to shoot at a bus wounding a passenger. Then in America, the nanny of the person who got shot on the bus is going to a wedding in Mexico. She does what any other normal nanny would do. She brings her children to the alcohol-infested wedding. Now ready for this, those kids that shot the terrorists. Their father bought the gun they used from some dude. Now this dude has a buddy in Tokyo. And this guy in Tokyo has a kid in Tokyo who is deaf and mute and a little fucking whore as well.
This girl in the course of two and a half hours, flashes her vagina as people, licks a dentist and throws herself at a cop. The ending scene of the movie shows her naked on a balcony. There was one cool scene at a dance club with the little tramp though. And the girl who played her is up for supporting actress as well. Oh yeah. Like it is so hard to play a deaf mute slut. All you need to do is keep your mouth shut and decide whether you’re going to spit or swallow.
The nanny, as I mentioned earlier wants to go to a wedding in Mexico. But the problem is the kids she watches have to come to, because she can’t find anyone to watch them. So she brings them with, and the party is fueled by lots of alcohol. So much alcohol, the guy who is supposed to drive them home forgets that it is a bad idea to drive drunk. Now what would a normal human being do? Wait for someone else to drive. Not her, she gets in the car and then is involved in a huge police chase with this drunk guy operating a motor vehicle. He kicks them out of the car in the middle of the dessert. Nice guy! Then the nanny leaves the kids in the middle of the dessert to try to find help, only to be accused of jumping the border by the patrol and turns out, she is actually an illegal alien. What a dipshit! She was so good she got nominated for supporting actress as well.
I couldn’t stand this movie and quite frankly, it was too long. And the director made some statement about how this movie was a long time in the making after winning the best picture for the globes. I will say this loud and proud. If Babel wins the Oscar for best picture (especially when “The Departed” arguably the best movie of the year, an awesome fucking movie by Scorsese), I will go to LA, find the front door of the academy, and piss on it for allowing some a travesty to occur.
By the way, if you haven’t seen The Departed, you need to. It was a great fucking movie, and Jack Nicholson should have been nominated for supporting actor. Wahlberg was awesome in it as well, and he got the nomination, but Dimjou Housson will win for Blood Diamond if there is any intelligence within the academy. I beg the academy do not let Babel steal Best Picture. A movie needs to be good, before it can be best. You fucked up with Million Dollar Baby, don’t let it happen again.
JAE
