Hello there peoples welcome to this edition of the journal. Let me start by saying I just saw the Manchurian Candidate and it is not all it is cracked up to be. Don’t believe the hype.
Now, it’s sports time here on the journal. We are going to talk sports this time around.
Let’s start with the Cubs. Their hopes of making the playoffs are falling faster than the concrete at their little baseball park. I mean, come on guys. You keep three incidents secret, what for? Afraid people will not want to sit in your park. No more money for the boys at Tribune. What’s up? Now they are putting up these “safety nets.” Hell, why don’t you just throw the Cubs a safety net so when they fall off the face of the NL Central, they won’t slam into the ground.
Ricky Williams, famed RB for the Dolphins (best team in football) leaves the team because of drug testing and god knows why else. You know, that whole social anxiety thing he has. He claims, “He didn’t leave football because he smoked weed. He smoked weed to leave football.” He failed a drug test and was hit with a $65,000 fine. So what if he smoked weed? All he had to do is be a man and come and say, “I get high.” Not let the team down along with the fans. That’s bullshit. He also is Johnny World Traveler now too. Nice way to celebrate pothead. Jimmy Johnson said he was overrated. I think a lifetime average of 90 yards with 41 TDs is hardly average. It is spectacular. Oh well, good luck Cheech traveling the world and shit.
Randy Johnson, the unit. I guess he earned that nickname because of his last name. Johnson, Unit, get it? Ha ha.
Mike Tyson gets his ass handed to him by Danny Williams. Maybe if he gets lucky he will get his clothing handed to him by the salvation army.
At an AIDS auction hosted by Sharon Stone, Serena Williams put herself on sale. Bidding started at $25,000 for private tennis lessons. Considering the fact she has been getting her ass kicked lately, I wonder if she offers other services she may be good at. You know, washing dishes, vacuuming the rug, vacuuming the bidder, if you catch my drift.
Lance Armstrong won the Tour De France for the 6th time in a row. Whoopee fucking doo. If you really give a shit about this, you have no life. What’s more, if you know anyone else in the Tour De France besides Mr. Armstrong, you better turn your man card in for the holidays. Sheryl Crow must be proud though. Maybe she can write another bad song about it that will hopefully not only be banned from Wal-Mart, but just about everywhere.
Greg Maddux is going for 300 wins. Selfish bastard. How about getting the Cubs 300 wins? God knows they need it.
Let’s not forget Kobe. Instead of seeing him in gold and purple, it would be nice to see him in orange and black. His lawyer says we need to examine the sex life of the accuser. Do you really believe that labeling this girl a slut will win your client freedom? Do you think its possible Kobe’s lawyer is a freak? That’s why she wants to hear this. Get your fill of Penthouse Letters for women maybe? Things that make you go hmmm. Anyways, I’d like to know what you think. Is he is guilty or innocent? Let me know on the message board.
And finally to my beloved White Sox, GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER!!!!!!
That is all sports fans. Live from Chicago, I’m Michael Jae.
