Hello everyone and welcome to the journal. This week: celebrity stupidity.
In Rolling Stone, Tom Cruise is quoted as saying, “if you don’t like scientology, fuck you. I mean really, fuck you. Period.” So what if we don’t like you, what are you going to say then? I mean your performance in Collateral sucks. I mean really sucks, period.
Lindsay Lohan says she doesn’t get active in politics because “if you are democrat, you lose half your fan base.” So what happens if you’re republican, you get the luxury of getting GW’s dick in your mouth versus your ass? Jesus.
Speaking about Georgie porgie pudding pie, went and bombed Iraq and no one knows why, how do you like this Swift Boat Veterans for truth group that is supporting him by slandering John Kerry? Swift Boat. Hmmm. I think these people should take that boat to Iraq and go fight. I mean, since these people have nothing better to do and are a bunch of vets that probably having severe trauma syndrome because someone threw a firecracker in their bunker in Alabama somewhere, they should do something productive for the country rather than slander a presidential candidate who is going to end up slandering himself one way or the other.
By the way, Alien vs. Predator and Bush vs. Kerry have two things in common. One, two monsters going head to head for control of a piece of land. Second, whoever wins, we all lose.
Paris Hilton has a song out called “screwed” that is making its way on the internet. True story. Talk about irony? It’s about time that you got off your ass and recorded a bad song rather than be a useless blow up doll floating up and down the strip.
Rebecca Romjim Stamos and John Stamos are formally filing for divorce. That’s great. Maybe John Stamos can find Lori Loughlin on the rebound or someone else from the Full House show. Perhaps one of the Olsens. Hey they’re legal now!
There is this show coming on ABC called Desperate Housewives. I think the show should be renamed “Desperate to get you to watch” because of how many times I’ve seen the fucking commercial on ABC. Haven’t they learned that repetition doesn’t work? Look at NBC. They put the Olympics on all day long every four years and they still suck.
Rumors are that Britney and that guy from that family she wrecked are being courted by MTV to do a Newlyweds show, kind of like the one Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey are in. Yeah, that’s what we need. More married couples on MTV. Hell, you want to make things interesting why not do blow by blow coverage of the Courteney Love court cases. Well, the ones she shows up to at least.
You could also follow around Fred Durst and see how many underaged girls he tries to pick up on. You can call the show “Fred’s Fantasies.” Yeah, here’s Fred going to Hersey High School to find his flavor of the month. Since “Results May Vary” the kids just aren’t clamping up to him anymore. He’s following around Paris Hilton now. This one should be interesting.
And finally, Christina Aguillera removed 12 of her 13 piercings in her body. This leaves 12 more holes for you to have fun with her if you catch my drift homey.
Thanks for reading. Talk to you all soon.
MJ
