Hello folks and welcome to J squared.
This week I wanted to talk about my high school reunion. It was a couple weeks ago at Arlington Park and I just received an e-mail from the “reunion team” about thanks for everyone going and how strong the “friendships” were over the years, yada yada, yada. There was one small problem. I didn’t go.
Yeah I know. Could of had open bar. Could have found an old flame (which never existed.) Could have, should have, but didn’t. So instead of talking about the reunion, let’s talk about my high school experiences.
First of all, growing up in Elk Grove was a nightmare. I had my group of my friends back then, and some people from that same group are friends with me today. I grew up with a speech impediment and many people made fun of that. I got into many fights because of that. I was a social outcast. I tried for years to befriend many people in my class and sure enough, I was too odd for them. Instead they would try to belittle me and make me their sideshow attraction. I think that is where the desire to entertain came. I spent my life entertaining people, whether it be for the right or wrong reasons, and sometimes I became the butt of jokes. Yet, sometimes I would become the talk of the town.
People did like to pick on me in high school. It wasn’t until my sophomore year I felt the need to stand up for myself. After all, what good was it relying on people. The only people I had to rely on were my mother and my friends considering my father thought I was going to take a long ass vacation in jail. He always thought I would amount to nothing because I was this evil person. It was a funny story that led me to this. I will talk about that later. When I did stand up for myself, people got scared. Teachers and authority figures alike and they sent me to BD school. So technically, I guess I’m not a part of EGHS class of 1994. I did go back for a semester, but I got pulled out because I didn’t like one of my classes and I wanted to drop it. When I went back, people were so offended.
One of the things about that school and I’m sure about every other high school is when you are seen with the freak of the school, people then associate you as being a freak. I remember I had lots of crushes in high school and even junior high and damn I got shot down a lot. No one wanted to be seen with me. Hell, I was so angry I even got involved in people’s relationships and tried to split them up. So I got more people pissed at me. I was an angry youth. I hated everyone because everyone acted like they hated me. The thing that was so funny is my senior year of high school, I met the woman of my dreams at a party somewhere and still to this day, I am with her. So all that hatred was for nothing.
I was going to try out for the football team and everyone tried to talk me out of it. It was my ticket into social acceptance, but I didn’t go through with it. Besides, my thinking wasn’t on par with everyone on the football team. The metal heads of the school didn’t even like me. In fact, one asshole told a kid whom I thought was a cool dude that I was making fun of his high-pitched voice. That’s funny. Here I am, the so called “wabbit swayer” and I am making fun of someone else’s voice. Oh yeah, that makes sense. Anyway this guy wanted to kick my ass and I feared him very much. The whole school made fun of me for it. It was after that I decided I had to stop taking shit and stand up for myself. I fought him and I was so scared I didn’t even fight back, but after that, I promised I wouldn’t take shit from anyone. That included my father, teachers, police, whatever. When I was sent to STEP, the Stoned Ranger became a reality. That is when I decided fuck everyone else. I am going to do what I want. And when people challenged me, I would stand up.
Some of my so-called friends made a mockery of me as well. When they would try to purposely piss me off and record my temper tantrum. Then they would play it for the whole school. Back in those days I was trying to tag along with a shit load of social groups and tried to find somewhere to belong. It wasn’t until I got to the BD school I felt I belonged somewhere. People in that school got along with me and I made some true to life friends there that I still talk to. I don’t think there were these social groups in that school like there were in regular high school. I hate stereotypes. I always had and spoke out against it a lot when I was younger. People, especially my parents, thought I was crazy. Tina Fey sure agrees with me though. Did you see Mean Girls?
High school is full of them and it is sad. Here we are learning to grow up with different people with different interests and cultures. Yet, everyone segregated themselves into different groups. One thing about me, I learned from a girl named Leah Hernandez, stereotypes mean shit. It is being yourself that counts, and I think considering I did from that moment on, I got along better with people. She was popular and shit, but she made me believe that she was a friend who cared about how I felt about things.
Elk Grove High School was a complete disaster in my life but I remember some good times I had there. I remember when me and Randy Janeczko would stop everyone in the hallway when I brought my keyboard to school remaking “Home Sweet Home.” I remember writing my poetry and absolutely offending teachers with it. I remember when I made my smart-ass comments to teachers getting laughter from everyone. High School, although I wish I took it a little more seriously than I did, was a joke. I didn’t learn anything because we’re not real there. Everyone would feel sorry for me because I was so crazy. Yet no one cared to get to know the real me. Everyone had their preconceived notions about me as they do about everyone else they go to school with. That was cool because it taught me something in life. Everyone wears the mask and no one knows for sure what people are thinking and feeling.
So I went from being the problem child in high school to the black sheep of the media. I remember I sent e-mail to the committee saying “hello.” Only one person who I always remembered as a nice human being got back to me. That was nice. So I ask the question? Why in the hell am I going to pay 85 fucking dollars to drudge up a shit load of bad memories that I would rather forget? They say we were kids yes. However the scars in my memories I have to carry on for life. Am I sorry I was a misfit in high school? Hell no. It shaped me to be the person I am today.
This was a difficult journal to me to write but that it was a journal is. It is my way of sharing my thoughts and feelings with you. Sorry to sound pathetic, but I felt I should write this because I found it very funny. We are taping MJP on October 4. Come on down if you’d like. Talk to you guys soon.
MJ
