Welcome to the Journal, we have all sorts of bullshit to talk about.
Congrats to Howard Stern for calling out FCC chairman Michael Powell. I guess any type of publicity Mr. Stern can get before he makes the jump is worth it. I admire that kind of shit though. Even though the fossil of radio is trying new tricks, I still stand by my latest remarks. I don’t see Stern innovative on satellite. Although he was compelling in the past, now he is going through the motions.
Special message to anyone under the age of 65 that is not working in the healthcare field, STOP BITCHING ABOUT THE FLU SHOTS. Look, many of us went years without the shots. That is why we have Tylenol Flu. That is why we have medicine. We fight the flu the best we can. The shot should have never been made as a convenience factor for people who don’t need it. Once again proving we have gone from a hard working nation, to a shitload of slackers looking for an easier way of doing things. Stop being a bunch of pussies. If you get sick, deal with it. If it is serious, see a doctor. We are supposed to be a nation of bad asses so let’s act like it.
According to the New York Times, Ossama Bin Laden has just released a tape saying that the next attack depends on what policy is put in place for America’s treatment of Muslims. Well, damn it, someone better sign Cat Stevens, excuse me, Yousif Muslim’s next album soon.
While we are on the subject, John Kerry used this as a chance to attack Bush again. Saying we wouldn’t see this tape if Bush did the job himself and not outsource the campaign to Afghan Warlords. Well, I ask Mr. Kerry, what was GW to do? See if one of the countries in the “Coalition of the willing” would do it? Furthermore, the job was not out sourced to the Warlords. The Warlords have been fighting a civil war with the Taliban in that country for many years before Bush invaded. Why ruin a good thing, right? Don’t worry I have problems with Bush still. During the debate, he was talking about the success of “No Child Left Behind” which if anyone who is paying attention knows was a complete failure. I think he was confused with the “All Americans Left Behind” act. Yeah, you know the one about him leaving all the Americans in Iraq, and America to wonder what to do when he was reading “My Pet Goat” for about seven minutes.
May I say I have a huge problem with Kerry killing geese to prove how manly he is. If he wants to kill something, perhaps he should kill his campaign and let Edwards take the charge. Jesus, these are the two idiots picked for an election?
Speaking about idiots, on a double DVD soon to be released, we will see Paris Hilton being fucked sideways, front ways, backwards; you name it, it happens. In the beginning, we see Rick Soloman saying that this DVD is dedicated to all the victims of the 9/11 attacks. You know Rickie, I think a lot of people are going to wish you were in one of those buildings after that.
So Angelina Jolie and Billy Bob Thorton are going to get back together. That’s nice. I guess you can only hope he doesn’t have viagra and she is on the pill. Their children will put Jerry’s kids on the honor roll. After all, what are they going to name a boy, Charlie Ray?
Mark Cuban’s show the Benefactor needed an Extreme Makeover. I mean the whole idea was Lost, and it didn’t follow the eight simple rules. According to Jim and Rodney, the show is definitely Less Than Perfect. I guess he should have a little more Hope and Faith that the idiots on the show didn’t look like Complete Savages. Perhaps if he went on The Bachelor and Wife Swap he could meet some Desperate Housewives, and find his Wife and Kids. By the way, NYPD Blue sucks.
Sarah Michelle Gellar is starring in a horror flick called the Grudge. Funny about that title, there are many little nerdy Buffy fans that hate her for canceling out on the show.
And finally, remember its Halloween. So please watch where you drive because you might hit a kid, or if you get lucky an Olsen Twin. Inspect your kids candy because if you are the one who had them, you should get the good shit for giving the bastards life. And remember, lock your doors, you never know when the bogeyman is going to sneak in your house and have sex with your wife.
Happy Halloween.
MJ
