So anyway I said things are different. In those old Ranger days, you will never catch me writing two editorials in one month. Maybe I was too stoned. I don’t know.
I wanted to tell you guys about something awesome WCRX is doing. They are doing this thing called “the Holly Jolly Trolley” which will be a huge food drive taking place December 18th between 7am-3pm. My esteemed partner in crime Palomar and myself will be hosting the first two hours of the trolley and I hope if you are downtown you can come out and see us. Bring a can of food and we will give you some nice Krispy Kreme donuts and coffee. This is a HUGE deal for the station you if you can come, please do.
I need to vent. Although, I touched upon this briefly on Monday, I feel that I can do a much better job here. I really don’t know what is going on with our beloved White Sox lately. I mean we are losing our free agents faster than Britney is losing her fans. What is up Jerry Reinsdorf and Kenny Williams? When are you going to bring some players to our team? Who in the hell is Juan Uribe? Who the hell cares? You want to keep that crazy, dramatic, cancer Frank Thomas on the team? You want to keep Valentin who is slumping? However, you send real talent like Bartolo Colon, Tom Gordon, and Robbie Alomar packing. I as a Sox fan feel slapped in the face by the team.
Now you hire Ozzie Guillen as manager. Yet, you can’t come to the poker table if you have nothing to play with. How does anyone expect Ozzie to succeed as a manager when you haven’t given him the talent he needs to work with? You guys are a couple of Frosted Flakes. Now only if Tony the fucking Tiger would come and eat you and say GRRRREAT!!!! Ozzie obviously is your fall guy for another white flag season to save money. Just the fact there is talk about Ordonez being traded really sickens me. You have failed with all six free agents, sold the name of the stadium, and stomped on the hearts of Sox fans everywhere. What are you going to do now Jerry? Take the first plane to Disneyworld?
It is sad to say but baseball like just about everything else is a business. Gone are the days when loyalty played a part in a ballplayer’s decision, and they were the ones running things. Bartolo says he wanted to stay in Chicago, but Williams wouldn’t give him four years. A lot can happen in four years. Maybe Colon would still be a great pitcher while you’re working at McDonalds, bitch. Enough of this topic, I am getting angry. When it is all said and done, one thing will remain. Even though the Cubs who obviously don’t give two shits about their fans because they are scalping tickets to them acquired Derrick Lee and Latroy Hawkins, the Sox will still run over them during the regular season. You can count on that.
Quick section, thumbs up this week to Al Gore. Nice job siding with a pretty decent candidate in Dean, than a wolf (Republican) in sheep’s clothing (Democrat) named Joseph who looks like he is going to die of Leprosy every time I look at him. Thumbs down this week to Trista and Ryan because no one really gives two shits about your wedding.
Thumbs up to WWE for making an attempt to create better programming by reuniting the Rock N Sock connection for one night. Thumbs down to ABC for wasting my time with enticing me to watch “Line of Fire” which was super boring. I mean really, I could have had more fun watching two ants race down my kitchen floor for a piece of cheese.
And finally, as a special reminder, the last SRTV taping is December 29th and if you call yourself a “true fan” of the Stoned Ranger, I know you will be there to ask questions and hear my official statement why the virus had to end. You can e-mail me for more details.
Take it easy,
THE NEW “MJ”
