TALES FROM H-TOWN: THE AGE OF UNDERWEAR

In the 80's, my friend Parrish Walker was always zooming around on his motorcycle. One bright sunny day he drove up outside my house on Vine in Harvey, Illinois. I was standing there with a bunch of friends. Somehow the discussion turned into a dare for somebody to strip and ride on the back of Parrish's bike. I had a knack for accepting dares, so I did. I stripped down to my underwear. Then, after mustering up the courage (or foolishness depending on your view), I took off my drawers. I put my hands on Parrish's shoulders and put my feet on the bike seat. We drove off down an alley, turned onto 155th and Myrtle, and then down busy 155th St. Passing drivers had looks of shock as we sped by in our modern day version of the Lady Godiva story He dropped my off at home I got dressed, and the dare was done..

One night I was in a car with David Dright (the driver), Aubrey Fourte and Tracy Dyson. We had been having a good time getting zooted. We ended up in West Harvey by Dixie Highway, when Tracy wanted to make a stop. He was seeing a girl in the neighborhood. Dave drove over to her house and parked across the street. We stayed in the car while Tracy went in. Maybe five minutes later Tracy came storming out! He came back to the car and said "Let's Go!" Before we could ask what happened, out came his girl into the street -- in her panties! She was screaming his name while she ran and dove through the car window, to stop us from leaving. She was laid out across Dave's lap, while Aubrey was in the passenger's seat. Aubrey and Dave looked at each other like Morris Day and Jerome from "The Time," simultaneously both said "Yesssss," and they started squeezing her ass like a pair of G.I. Joes with Kung-Fu Grips! Eventually Tracy got "Ms. Panties" back into her house and we left.

One Saturday night I was with my girlfriend at my house. We had just laid down to sleep when I heard a car door slam outside, and a car speed off. I got up and looked out the window. What did I see but a man with no shirt leaning up against my girlfriend's car. I ran outside to move him, but when I got close I saw that he had nothing on but his underwear. He looked like he was drugged or something -- fast asleep standing up in the street while leaning against a car in his drawers! I was like WTF!!! I called the police to come get that mofo!. I guess the gangs of Harvey robbed him, and left him with nothing but his underoos.

I was getting ready to leave out for my college classes and work one day when I heard a knock at my door. It was my friend Dino from around the corner. He was an older guy who was cool with me and my friends from way back. He said that he was being evicted. I walked around to his house with him and saw his furniture and things being laid on the lawn by sheriffs. I had to get going so I said I'd check him out later. I never saw Dino again. Last I heard, he was seen walking in downtown Harvey in his underwear!

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