Domo arigoto, Mr. Roboto

If you head on out to this link, you can do what we love to do best around here… see another bunch of fanboys talk about one of my articles that they found and, apparently, loathe to the depths of their… hmmm… well, I’m not going to say ‘souls’ because in cases such as this, that would obviously be mere literary license on my part. To the depths of the metaphysical void where their souls would be if they had them, then.

The thread is initiated by someone calling himself Mr. Roboto, and, well, Mr. Roboto seems to be quite a fan of mine, judging from the sheer amount of time and energy he’s invested in reproducing my work, and responding to it at great (and generally insulting) length.

Occasionally, someone else chimes in, and when they do, it’s always negative, of course. Someone there thinks I’m a really spectacularly bad writer, and he may be correct. I can’t judge whether I’m a good writer or not. There’s no denying I’ve rarely been paid to write… but then, a lot of inarguably bad writers have been paid, some of them quite a lot, to write badly, so I’m not sure if that means anything, either. All I can say is that I enjoy writing and some few people have alleged in the past that they enjoy reading my writing… and everywhere that I’ve ever been published for an audience of more than a handful, I’ve generated HUGE amounts of controversy… and nobody seems to have any trouble understanding my viewpoints, they all simply seem to hate them. So I’d guess that I’m a clear, lucid, and cogent writer, whether or not I’m a persuasive one, and I certainly seem to be provocative. Beyond that… ::shrug:: I enjoy writing, I’ll keep doing it as long as I keep enjoying it. That’s all I can say.

I haven’t read the entire thread because… well, I honestly don’t care what anyone on this chat thread thinks of me. I don’t know who this Mr. Roboto is, or who anyone else there is, and none of their opinions matter very much to me. I’ve read enough to know that none of them are interested in complimenting me in any way, other than through the implied compliment of spending so much time on my work, and again… my philosophy in life, such as I have one, is to avoid unhappiness whenever possible, and minimize it when you can’t avoid it. Which means, when you find a chat thread where a dozen or so strangers are spitting on you because you said something about one of their favorite comic book creators, you only read just enough to realize that these people are entirely worthless, and then you move on.

I will comment on something else, though, that is related to this… in the posts I’ve read, quite frequently, Mr. Roboto addresses himself directly to me. He’ll ask me questions, or make statements like ‘Darren, I wish you would be more specific’ or ‘Darren, why would you think something like that, when it’s obvious…’

Now, those questions were most likely rhetorical, but here’s my thing:

My email address is on everything I’ve ever written. And this is not the first one of these chat threads that someone has eventually pointed out to me… and yet, what seems bizarre to me is, here are all these people talking about my work… essentially behind my back… occasionally addressing direct inquiries to me… and yet, none of them want to involve the author in the conversation.

It seems gutless to me, but maybe I’m wrong.

When I write about something I see on someone else’s blog, I generally send the author who’s work I’m writing about a ‘heads up’ via email. I don’t know. It not only seems polite to me (even if I’m disagreeing with the person vehemently) but it actually seems somewhat morally required.

You know, when Kurt responded to my Astro City post, much of it he nominally addressed directly to me. Yet he didn’t send me a copy of it, and my email address was on my post. He just posted his response. Of course, that’s because he wasn’t really talking to me; he was grandstanding for his fans, and I grok that absolutely.

But it seems cowardly, as well as duplicitous, and, well, kind of contemptible. You have something to say about my post? Say it to me. Especially if you’re trying to fake all the other people you’re actually talking to into thinking you’re talking to me. Send me a copy.

Anyway, that’s enough of that. Y’all go out and check out the thread if you like. I don’t much care. But it is always nice when people quote my work, and post links to it, and discuss it… even if they hate it, as they generally seem to.

Someday I may stumble across a chat thread where strangers who found my work and enjoyed it actually say so…

But no, that won’t happen until I’m rich and influential, and people feel they have something to gain from kissing my ass.

See, people will insult you, and bitch at you, and try to hurt you, and they’ll do it freely and without the slightest qualms, especially on the Internet. All they need is to feel fairly secure that you can’t hurt them in any way, or retaliate meaningfully. For most people, if they know they can’t get hurt back, that’s pretty much all the license they need to be hateful.

But if someone likes your work… well, sure, they’ll enjoy it. But unless they have something to gain from it, they won’t bother to tell you. Why should they? They aren’t getting anything out of it.

Most people simply don’t seem to get any pleasure from making other people feel good. Unless they think they might be rewarded for it, they simply can’t be troubled.

This kind of troubles me. But at the same time, at least I know I’m not like this. When I read or otherwise find something on the Internet that I like, if I can find an email address, I write to the person responsible and tell them I liked it.

Of course, they usually don’t respond, or if they do, they do it perfunctorily. So, yes, I guess I am weird, wanting to hear from total strangers about my work. Apparently, total strangers have no desire to hear from me about their work.

Of course, if I were rich and famous, then they’d really appreciate the fact that I liked their work. Then it would mean something. Then they’d fawn all over me and kiss my ass and post my emails on their website and sob “oh god, Darren Madigan wrote and said he loved my work, now I can die with honor”. But as it is? I’m a nobody. Why should they care if I enjoyed something they did? That’s not going to benefit them. It’s nothing to brag about

Until recently, my email buddy Hartmut was the only person I have ever known who, without any previous relationship to me at all, wrote me out of the blue to tell me he enjoyed my writing. In the last couple of weeks, two other people… strangers, I mean… have also done so. One is a guy named Martin Demers who wrote briefly and said he’d read some of my novels and liked them; another is the fine Aussie chap, Jonathan Nolan, who is going to be publishing some of my work in his e-zine. And I appreciate these guys, I really do. But this willingness to reach out and offer positive feedback to a stranger seems to be a very, very rare trait. (I’ll note drily that ‘Martin Demers’ may well be my buddy Hartmut, writing under a pseudonym to cheer me up.) Most people, apparently, just aren’t that generous.

Me, if a bunch of people get together and bash something I’ve written, I try hard not to care. If they’re obviously assholes… as, I have to say, pretty much everyone who has done this about my writing has been, to date (see the above noted chat thread, or my article JOHN JONES: THREAT OR MENACE! if you don’t believe me)… I’m usually genuinely gratified. It’s no shame, and in fact, a great compliment, to earn the disapprobation of morons.

However, if total strangers wrote me out of the blue to tell me they enjoyed my work, well, I’d appreciate it, and I’d tell them so. I wouldn’t be dismissive or brusque. I’d be pleased they liked my work, and more pleased they took the time to let me know. I’d try to make them feel welcome and appreciated, and I’d certainly do everything I could to encourage them to keep writing me, if they wanted to.

But I don’t know. Maybe I’m just weird.