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it was a cold winter's night in moscow...
Thursday, 2 October 2003
...photograph...
i am a photograph

black and white, with cracks running down the center
dappled sunlight streaming down through leaves that ought to be
some brilliant shade of forest green
i am off to the side by the rusted swingset
happy, smiling;
you think you see me

i am a photograph.
faded with time
coffee colored halo encircling my head
people passing me by
walking, driving;
cars a blur, so much movement

i am a photograph.
faded with time
folded, forgotten;
you see what you want to see
puffy white clouds smeared in the distance
i am the illusion
the illusion does not go deep enough
my grey-blue eyes are out of focus
you cannot see the crystalline tears

i am a photograph.
broken, bandaged;
held together by clear, thick tape
frayed at the edges
a reproduction of a life better lived
i am not real
crinkled and torn in your back pocket
empty swings tossed by the breeze
children now grown
their crooked smiles hide the pain of broken promises

i am a photograph
black and white with cracks running down the center
dying sunlight caressing crumpled grey-brown leaves
fallen, like so many fragile realities
don't look too closely
i might fade away

i am a photograph.

Posted by blog/coldwintersnight at 6:59 PM MDT
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Friday, 15 August 2003
...without you...
And I let you get inside my skin
And I knew that I could never win
You could never love me
You would never hold me
You will never care
Never care
Because no one ever cares

And it doesn't matter
If you're gay or straight
And it doesn't matter
What is wrong or what is right
All that matters is how I feel
All that matters is the pain that might never heal
It will never heal
Oh god, what if it never heals?

And I want to sink my nails into your skin
And I want to rip the flesh from your bones
And I want to wash the ground with your blood
I want you to know
I just want you to know
This is how you make me feel

And I'm an idiot
I'm naive
I'm a simpering child
Alone and lost in your wake

And I'll never tell
No I'll never tell
It doesn't matter if they know
It doesn't matter if they don't
Nothing matters
Not my broken wings
Not your dark heart
Not languid kisses
Cranberry whispers
Delicate touch
No one knows
No one cares

Nothing matters anymore

And I'm left empty
Without you
Cold
Without you
Forsaken
Without you
Poisoned
Without you
Solid
Without you
Free
Without you

And I'm happy

Without you

Posted by blog/coldwintersnight at 9:00 PM MDT
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Friday, 20 June 2003
...a feeling that i stole...
a breath of wind
on the back of her neck
a soft kiss
that can not last
one more touch
it shows her how
nobody loves her

she wonders why
no answer comes
tears like glass
for everyone

Posted by blog/coldwintersnight at 10:30 PM MDT
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