misguided zeal, and other painful things
In my zeal to reach out to others I have been wounded. Still, wounds and scars are fine as long as the heart beneath is pure and whole. And thank God that I know the one who patches up all broken things. -sigh-

I wonder, God how exactly is it that you love someone as stupid as me? (I know that whenever I fall you always pick me up, even if it's my own fault that I fell in the first place...-sigh-) ...I see, you love me for who I am, even though I'm not yet the girl you want me to be. I want to be perfect, I don't want to make mistakes, I hate my humanity- but, but this is the gift you have given to me. This gift enables me to have compassion, to understand pain, to remember what suffering feels like- if I can be hurt, I can be healed. I can help to heal.

So, you put me to the test so that I may grow and so that I may win against the enemy. I fight so that I will continue to be yours and only yours. I love when I am hurt: the deeper the pain, the deeper my level of love and compassion.

Thank you God. I am human.

(It hurts so much though *cries*)

...please, I beg of you forgive me...forgive me for my sins, the follies I have committed...

I will stand and fight for my one and only true friend, my God and so I will suffer. Lord, please grant me the grace to bear my pains well- to sing and to bless, not to run and hide.

I love you Lord, and I love the people on this Earth.