(NOTE: this is verbatim, some typed thoughts [on Notepad] from last night...)
*****
[unmet ego needs]
Jesus, today:
I'm tired and irritated Lord
my family doesn't understand me
my friends are out of reach and out of touch
I've been irritated by many things...
by my skin- it's been so itchy I've scratched it 'till it bled
I've disgusted myself
with behaviors that are unappealing and unattractive
I've been reviled and ridiculed by my own beloved brother
I've been misunderstood and percieved things incorrectly
I didn't get to do everything I wanted to do
I didn't do everything I've been asked to do
I didn't do it all...
and yet, compared to You and what You've been through
does it matter?
Not really.
You've had all my aches, pains, sorrows, and irritations before
and You handled them much better than me.
You made sure I had chances a plenty for change and renewal.
So, it is not I who should be complaining
rather You're the one who really deserves it
but You don't do it...You don't complain.
And You won't whine.
Help me so that I won't either.
No matter what happens.
Promise me You'll teach me, okay?
Because all I want Father,
all I need is to be like You
exactly.
Help, help us please...
-Amen.