Observed silence
during the passage of High Holy Days...

or so I wish that was what I had been doing for two days.

Actually, I had been away doing things during the Christ Mass and the day after the 25th of December. -sigh- So much activity, and yet I did so little, I don't like that feeling too well.

I had wanted to post a little something before I attended Midnight Mass on Christmas eve; and here it is:

Christmas is
(not about)

hurt feelings and being angry with others
(no matter how much they "deserve it")

and being upset and frustrated
(with the way that people do things
or with missed opportunities
or anger at things not done well)

Christmas is Christ Mass.

It is about Jesus.

The one who even while he was dying slowly and painfully
the one who was able to look down from the cross while steeped deeply in his own pain and say, "Father, forgive them for they know not what they do."

Humanity says
Be angry, you've got every right to be!!

-but God says otherwise.

If I can put down my hurt feelings,
pardon those who have incensed me,
give mercy and be merciful despite what I feel

then, and only then
will I be more like Jesus

and that is the best person that I should ever resemble.

Merry Christ Mass everyone
even if you're not understood
and don't feel loved
and seem as if you have no hope

-it's not true.

Merry Christ Mass.

I'm praying for you~

Thankfully, most of the troubles that I went through during that time were resolved nicely- and for that, I am ever so grateful to God.

-sigh- ...somehow, I can return to my regular blogging habits; still, I will do my best to live my life well first.

I pray that you've all had a wonderful Christ Mass day, and I will keep praying thoughout the rest of this year...

pray for me~

****
EDIT: -sigh- Well, as I've said before, this blog just doesn't seem to like certain types of HTML and will start acting "funny" at times- please do not let this bother you too much. Thank you.

...and all is somewhat darkened.
-at least with regards to some things, as in zeal.

-sigh- ...I can't believe that it's almost Christ Mass- actually, that's not totally true, I guess it's just that I'm not "prepared"/"ready"? [I don't even know what word to use to describe what it is that I am going through this season...ugh.]

Anyways, I do love this time of year
but things are different now-
I do my best to keep a light, child-like heart
and...still, my heart is heavy with the wondering about things.

I've been too inactive and quiet for so long now.
Lord, I pray that I will get better as will my friends (I am hoping that you will be well iamchosen... I do understand apathy and what it feels like to not be hungry for the Word of God- you can get through it.)

I really don't know what to say...
but I said something anyway.

hn. interesting.

praying for you~

that hiatus was too long
and quite unexpected.

Sorry everyone, I didn't mean to leave you all without any word from me for three days- I found myself unable to blog, though I wasn't unwilling.

Last Thursday, I had gone to see The Return of the King with some good friends of mine from my high school days. It was pretty fun, we'd all dressed up- we were cos-playing as Middle-Earthians; Alicia and Stephanie both wore elven ears and Cassandra and I were ladies of Rohan. I enjoyed the experience very much. ^_^

Oh yeah, and the Sunday before that
I had gone to see Jars of Clay and Cademon's Call in concert. (I had considered scanning my ticket stubs from all my events and putting the images online for all to see- but that plan didn't turn out too good. ^^;)

-sigh- In all, I've had quite a few adventures lately. Yes, I was quite busy- and since it's so close to Christ Mass, I've been to parties...and I've still got a few that I should be R.S.V.P.-ing to right now.

...Daiko tired (somewhat).

's all for now.

pray for me,
I'm praying for you!

late, late stuff~
I think after all these years of wandering around the internet with nothing good for stimulation, that I have finally found a place that I can call "home"

update-y:
I've taken out the other tagboard which had served me well in holding prayer requests unfortunately, I didn't get many during the board's duration- retrostats couldn't keep up the free service and it is now closed.

I really would like to take out the old orange tagboard that I have in my blog's profile since it is now non-functional, but that doesn't seem to be possible- I have put up with this problem for so long now; hoping that it would be fixed in time...I think I've waited too long.

I'm seriously considering moving to another place and deleting my blog here. That saddens and gladdens me when I think of it- yes, I'm strange: I have thoughts that should not exist with each other going on at the same time in unison. ugh. Still, I know that my friend Bod-kun probably would be cheered if I implimented this plan of mine; maybe that would be good...?

I am still having problems with the layout of my website- all I want is a nice green sidebar...is that too much to ask? -sigh- tables...I have yet to master this art in the HTML-style...

As to my "forum-selves":
-sigh- I think that I am no longer welcome at the Relient K board, and maybe that's a good thing- I sure made a fool of myself over there, I had been naive and tried to do something that I thought would be good and ...heroic. *winces* I'm sorry. -this is good, I guess that I live in exile of that land
I still LOVE Relient K though, and nothing (short of an act of God) will stop me from doing so!!

MegaTokyo?
-the forums have changed.
I feel it in the posts, I see it in the threads
the sigs reveal that this place is no longer friendly to people such as myself

I must leave...
*goes down to the sea to sail away to the Un-dying lands in an elven-crafted vessel*

Actually, I still like MT- just not the eechi-ness of the recent formite activity.

-sigh-

I wonder if all this makes sense?
I wonder what actions I should take?
I wonder...

Oh...wow.

this is what that strange song means?
interesting.

Remembering You
-a story about a girl who forgets who she is and who it is that she loves (still not finished)

of course, keep in mind that these are NOT my creations- I just think that they're great and want to share them with the world.

Daiko: a wonderful movie fit for viewing by all!

My life is rated G.
What is your life rated?


Actually, this test isn't correct
[with regards to my strict standards of course]
granted, it does check the behaviors of one's life, but there are other things which also make life intense- as in: one's thoughts, experiences, frustrations

that sort of thing.

I don't know, I don't think that my life fits in any pre-specified category...but I am really a G-rated person!! ^_^

(arrgh! -I don't understand this, but sometimes after I post results to tests I've taken the blog font gets messed up! -Daiko not like.)

****
EDIT: tried fixing this entry up again so that it will look the way that I want it to- used a little bit of HTML coding in the process.

I Celebrate the Day
a song by Relient K
from their recent Christmas album

And with this Christmas wish is missed
the point I could convey

If only I could find the words
to say to let You know
how much You?ve touched my life

Because here is where You?re finding me
in the exact same place as New Year?s eve

And from a lack of my persistency
We?re less than half as close as I want to be

chorus
And the first time
that You opened Your eyes
did You realize that You would be my Savior?

With the first breath that left Your lips
did You know that it would
change this world forever?

second verse
And so this Christmas I?ll compare
the things I felt in prior years

To what this midnight made so clear
that You have come to meet me here

*sound of sleigh bells*

**To look back and think that
this baby would one day save me

In the hope that what You did
that you were born so I might really live

[sing ** again]

And I
I celebrate the day
that You were born to die

So I could one day pray
for You to save my life

pray for You to save my life
pray for You to save...my life~

lyrics found here: http://www.letssingit.com/
(under Relient K) -I have corrected them somewhat, and I will see about revising the lyrics there as I am registered at that place. NOTE: this still doesn't seem a totally accurate rendering of this song as to what I have heard played on the radio...

-I decided to post this song since I needed to remember Christ Mass, and how wonderful it truly is though my heart is heavy with regret and other things...

pray for me please.

'tis the season of my ill unrest...
-I am tired...apathetic almost. It's been rough on me for several days (actually weeks) this month. I know that it is Advent, and I am waiting (almost impatiently) for the Christ child, but it isn't a joyful time for me. I'm tired of my courses, and I wish that things had gone better- I didn't do well in my A&P lab class, and I don't know what it is that I am going to do now. I hope that my father will be more merciful to me...I'm not sure that he will though.

I wonder, what it is that I should do (and should have done earlier) and where it is that I should go. I am suffering though I am not in physical pain, my mind is wearied and I am not able to understand and appreciate this beautiful world that lies before me.

-sigh-

Even the fact that The Return of the King will be playing tommorow in theaters in my area- even this wonderful thing does not cheer me.

I don't like this...

I can't just let you drown, can I?
This entry is for you, my beloved younger brother.

I do understand that you have an extremely hard time getting your work done if you do not have "help" or at least, someone to watch over you when you are working. I had hoped that since you had become older that you wouldn't need such aid from me anymore. You are in the twelfth grade, aren't you? I do love giving help, and of course- I love you (you are my only little brother).

Believing you to make use of your own intellegence and feeling that you had matured, I have left you to keep up your grades all by yourself. You are failing. My heart hurts. I never see you studying, and I know that you neglect your assignments.

Why?

I fear that question is far too complex for you to explain to me fully, and I do understand that.

What I do not understand is why you are letting this happen to yourself. You know how to do things. You know that you should do things, and when you keep track of the time and of your various assignments you know when you should be doing things...despite all this, you don't do your assignments.

To me, this is like watching someone drown.
Even worse
watching someone drown who won't even swim to save himself- I don't know if I am able to rescue you. I don't think I can, nor is it my true responsibility- your grades.

-sigh-
Lord help me.

Please my readers, pray for me.
-thank you.

(Brian? I can't seem to find you, but if you are still around- I need your bloghogger URL)

"help! ...I don't feel so good~"
ugh. As I have written, I was ill with a virus last week. -sigh- I thank God that I have gotten over that illness...still, I've got new pains to deal with. -I was feeling horrible earlier, and I had wanted to write about that...but I got better.

I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not.
^^;; I'm so crazy

Aside from that, last night I had a weird sort of adventure...which involved having me blindfolded (with a very large white sock tied around my head); pantyhose with one orange stuck at the foot of a leg- tied around my waist; and bad directions that were given. It was fun.

Okay, before any of you start getting confused- I'll explain (somewhat).

This was for the Filipino Nurses' Association Christmas party that went on last night. I had taken part of an odd game- and yes, the wrong directions had been given out.

Supposedly, the blindfolded person with the orange-stocking tail was meant to put their orange into a cup that was behind them- of course, this was to be done swiftly so prizes could be awarded.

I won the prize.
I did make a fool of myself in the process
especially since I was attending to the wrong directions You're supposed to knock down the cup behind you with your "tail"!- and I thought she was telling me the right thing too...

What a fun game. ^_^;;

(Brian, are you still around? One day I went to look at your Some Thoughts blog and it was gone!)