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a saint in training: my life on Earth
Wednesday, December 22, 2004
I am resolved quite happily...
Mood:
 happy
Now Playing: Daiko wants to draw and use art supplies!
Topic: bits and pieces
okay, I understand that I have given the impression that I have been sad/depressed lately (which wasn't exactly wrong, but I haven't said everything about that...) so I may as well give an update to where I am emotionally and so, as I see it, things look good and are good I've been getting out of the house recently and volunteering some of my time over at the near-by Vetrans Administrations Hospital, and it has been wonderful (- T-T okay, there are still some icky things that drive me crazy, but I accept that I don't live in a perfect world... or at least, I'm dealing with that) ...yeah, it really has, I love doing stuff especially when I get to do stuff for people and make them happy *little girl voice: I like helping! :heart:* Actually, that above statement isn't correct I will fix it: I LOVE helping!! :Heart: there~ and and annd~~! ... I've been to the Mall two days this week! -it is true that there were a lot of people there today trying to get their Christ Mass shopping done, but I was so happy to be there (especially since I spent most of my Mall time in the lovely store known as Waldenbooks where I read lots of good manga~ ee!) so yay. yay for surface scratching too because that's all for now (I'm tired and I want to go to bed early, I have a package to send tomorrow, and I need to get up around 6:20a Eastern or earlier- that also includes my brother @.@;; ooh.) -Daiko~ [the other side of the journal...](pray for me...)
Friday, December 17, 2004
let me back into the swing of things...
Mood:
 not sure
Now Playing: (I'm trying so hard not to scream- what a fun game!)
Topic: wondering where I stand
(hmm, I think I'm a bit irritated actually...) or at least let me come to some semblance of peace- both internally and externally. ...because it seems that I have none, no peace I mean and that is partially my fault because I've been too anxious as of late- of course, it doesn't help when one lives around naturally high-strung, suspicious people does it? -sigh- It feels as if I am not allowed to have time to myself to do things, and if I try to do so, that I shouldn't be since I should be busy, or at least out of someone else's way- I don't like that at all. I'm not too happy with the fact that I am saying things in such a round-about way either (maybe, I'll make my new year's resolution something like, "bluntness"? I don't know- I think maybe it should be "more honest and open with regards to myself" -that sounds a lot more like it really) -sigh- What do you guys think of whining? complaining? Personally, I don't like either, whether it's hearing myself do so (see my lack of rantage here?) or hearing someone else do so I guess it's because I don't understand at times why certain people do what they do (at times, it looks like pure foolishness, but that's what I see...) I mean, things aren't perfect but there are those who seem to refuse to adapt, and they are so highly irritable (I can understand that- but why burden others with such a thing unnecessarily? I don't get it- yuck.) ;_; sorry me, I just can't seem to do it I can't seem to say what I want to and I'm so limited with time and freedom (especially if I just want to get some stuff done on the computer) but I could just be imagining things how I wish that I was! **** (yeah, I know ramblings of mine don't make much sense, do they? -anyways, I'll be leaving soon and I've got a room and a physical journal to take care of, but I wish to get more done online soon... ;_;) I had wanted to post a split-review (subjective/objective) on the trilogy His Dark Materials by Pullman, but it looks like I won't be cranking that out now (funny, I was about to do that first thing when I went online about an hour ago, but I went over to DA and kinda got stuck ^_^;; ) eesh, I'm gone now. -Daiko~ (pray for me)
Friday, December 10, 2004
"...hop, skip, jump- do whatever you do~"
Mood:
not sure
Now Playing: Spirit fm Share-a-thon/blog hopping game/save me!
Okay, this morning I was wandering online as I often do and I found myself at my friend Brian's blog and I happened to see this entry which then lead me to this nice-looking place, and the most recent entry led me even further down the rabbit holeand so, that was fun~ -Daiko~ (pray for my brother that he passes this semester!!)
Thursday, December 9, 2004
I must remember that winter gives way to spring
Mood:
 cool
Now Playing: Winter in my Soul [not a song, but it is my inner state]
Topic: wondering where I stand
things have been hard for me lately, and I felt at times that I had more than I could handle, but God thought otherwise... I'm struggling to type to articulate my feelings (almost as usual) but I am enjoying the process this time (though I can't get it all down on paper or typed out here in the blog) It's not even winter yet- at least, not officially (though it does feel that way in many other places) but the winter solstice will be taking place on the 21st of this month -if I'm not mistaken that is. So, it is still autumn, and it is so HOT here in Florida, but I've been so cold lately- I don't think that this makes complete sense, but I have been scared as of late so that must be a part of the reason why I've been so chilly... it's been something like winter in my soul, a time where hearing from God is hard for me to do and to experience- not because I have told Him to go away or anything, but because I've allowed myself to drift from Him and to be preoccupied with such petty things, and serious worries- I hate it, I hate it, I hate it I want to remember... and I want to improve I want to improve so badly and I want things to be good but I can't let those things make me worry I can't let myself, and my good intentions be turned away to evil purposes (and I do mean "evil", I wasn't overstating my case). I want the Spring and I want my hope to flourish I need to remember that I need help always from God and from good companions I need to remember my limits and that it is painful for me to try to do too much I would like even more help and I am learning to be more specific in what I ask for so that I can recieve it well I want to have my brother by my side for him to be able to continue college and to do well this semester- -sigh- I'll just say that for now. -Daiko~ (pray for me...) (do you care to commission or support Daiko?)
Monday, December 6, 2004
"today, today, today..."*
Mood:
 crushed out
Now Playing: Begging You to be my Escape [RelientK]
Topic: wondering where I stand
Today looks nice somewhat I was able to recieve a lovely gift from my good friend Cassandra (and that brought some cheer to my downtrodden heart, so I am quite grateful...) also, I gave my friends the gift of chocolate so that was nice as well... (unfinished stuff here. Read More...) **** Why is it that Advent and Lent are so similar to me? It seems that at these times of the year that I go through quite a bit of suffering- I am wondering... if this is the way that things should be- actually, I'm not sure of it at all All I know is that I will do what I can with the very little that I have, and that God will help me (He is so trustworthy) Read More...**** more stuff from today: I've been attending classes on Sumi-e painting as of late, and I always pass a small office bulding that is dedicated to the commercial art business (or so it appears) unfortunately for me, I don't seem to be able to stop-by the place and get all the contact info- so all I see as I'm on my way to where my classes are held is the sign on the building and I can't even catch their domain name properly! -it's been quite irritating, and all I can say is that it is something like "megadistic.com" ;_; in my atempt to find their website today, I ran across this: Megadigit.com and Megadigital.comthe latter is little more than a place for the company contact info rather than a real interactive informational website, but the former looks most excellent (I can't understand Spanish though, so I would have to avail myself of an online translator if I wanted to read what the artist had to say) -sigh- ah, I almost forgot to mention that when I went to Megadigit.com I found this link in a pop-up ad ... ;_; I so wish that this was a true good job opportunity for me, heaven knows that I really could use something like this *cries* (-.-;; I'll see about fixing this entry up more later- for now, I'm going to see about doing some job applications or whatnot.) -Daiko~ (pray for me?) (care to support this poor student? take a look: commission, support)
Friday, November 26, 2004
Okay, I'm ready now
Mood:
 hug me
Now Playing: Begging you to be my Escape [Relient K]
Topic: wondering where I stand
to post that is. I wasn't writing lately because I found myself unable to say much since I've been going through quite a bit mentally and emotionally, but I found some precious solace in talking to two trusted, and wonderful friends (Ashley and Cassandra) -sigh- I know, I didn't say much of anything with regards to Thanksgiving, and I'm not sure if I have much to say for that holiday really- I did have a good time, and eat good food and get out for a bit, but it was rather quiet this year- hence, my reticience to put words down on this subject. hmm... with regards to blogging, I'm not exactly sure of where I want to go (and that applies to the other areas of my life as well) I know that I created this blog with the intention of talking about God (and to Him) along with covering how I am in my spiritual life, but I find it hard at times to write on that- also, I know that there are others things in my life too that don't neatly fit into the initial plan I had for this blog. I am wondering if I should have more than one blog that I update regularily... I could call it "Artist in Training" and use it to put up my ramblings on art and links and such, but I'm not sure if I want to do that- add more tasks to my life since I've got enough as it is (and this blog would get so much sparser too -I don't think that that would be so good). I would like suggestions please. (and oh, the end of this college semester is coming up for me and my younger brother- I am doing okay, but I know that he and I could both really use A LOT of serious prayer so that we can finish this term well and get on to a good next sem... so, HELP!!) today's browsings and stuff Read More...-Daiko~ (did what she could today but she still is a bit tired and empty pray for her and her family.)
Friday, November 19, 2004
;_; and T-T indeed!
Mood:
crushed out
Now Playing: "Who are you to tell me/that I'm less than what I should be..."
Topic: bits and pieces
well folks, I had quite a lot planned for today's initial blog entry but it became lost due to an inadvertant mistake on my little brother's part (;_; I had worked on it for quite awhile though) also, my internet connection was partially to blame since my wireless was unavailable at least twice (now it's doing that again for the third time- how irksome...) and so, that's what we have here now. **** ... ah, here is a bit of rambling that had to do with something my little brother was watching on the tv in the room- don't mind it, it's not even put together well. Read More...-Daiko~ (pray for me) nothing more here really. Read More...
Thursday, November 18, 2004
...(so much on my mind, but so little said. -sigh-)
Now Playing: Begging You to be my Escape (RelientK)
I am now in the middle of an unexpected hiatus I'll be returning to making blog entries when I find myself able to post again, I want to let you guys know now that I am over being sick- thanks for your prayers. :heart: unfinished stuff here, mostly URLs there's good stuff here but you'd have to paste it into your browser, and I haven't finished organizing all the stuff here yet... Read More...
Thursday, November 11, 2004
ugh hughblah!
Mood:
hug me
Now Playing: the "Daiko is poor and wants to work" song*
Topic: bits and pieces
ugh, I am not feeling as good as usual, and I'm not talking about emotional state I'm talking about physical state gyu~ ...I'm sick. -I know that this isn't anything serious (I think it's something like a passing cold or a 48hr bug) but I am not sick that often and I feel... uh, "crappy"? -ack! I can't even find a proper word to describe this... ah well. Anyways, it's just me letting you know what's going on with me and I'll do what I can in this limited state. Pray for me, won't you? (and do you think if I were to have something like the following, that it would be okay? ... here it is: Read More...I thank you in advance. well, what do you think?) **** my link chain if you wish to wade through it: Read More...*sing along with my song, won't you? -Daiko~ (pray for me- please! x_X' )
Wednesday, November 10, 2004
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