overload (and irritations...)
-tend to make one Daiko very weary. -.-;; ...

Yeah, today has been a strange mix: I've been up, down, and all over- emotional rollercoaster~

-sigh- So, what was it that taxed me so much? Well...

irritations:
at home, the family PC decides to be rebellious and not work for some unknown reason. I did not know that so I tried to go online and tend to some things and I couldn't- even after tweaking things and trying out different stuff for at least an hour- actually, it was at least two hours -.-;; that event made me feel like pulling out my hair, but God helped me to perservere (thank You Lord! ^_^); after that, I still had to take care of lunch and I hadn't cooked any food (due to the whole evil computer incident) so that meal was pretty much leftovers- it wasn't too good- I felt horrible... -sigh-

overload:
pretty much due to various irritations (some of which are not mentioned above ^^;; ...) and due to unfinished buisiness of mine, as in the fact that I hadn't done various things (i.e.: cook) -and so forth

*whew!!*

But...I'm not done yet.

^_^ Although, all those things happened I was still given the grace to have raised spirits- and not be concerned with much. ah~ I feel so much better.

For today, today was another lesson in surrender. I had a "refresher course" on how to give up everything to God.

God is amazing- He spoke to me, reminding me that He wanted everything I had to offer Him; actually, that all creation belongs to Him-even sufferings, even misery. So, I gave it to Him.

...and that's about it (time for Daiko to go to class, ^_~ but I'll post again soon~)

multiplicity~ (straining in battle)
...lately, I've been having this "atmosphere" about myself that I call: earthly weariness. -sigh- It's something like this: when I feel almost apathetic and tired of everything, when I have no relief from anything (save from God) -and, it's suffering for me.

I don't know, I mean- I know that feeling this way is an integral part of the human experience. I know that is similar to ennui (boredom). I know there is a distinct difference between the two, with the former being more secular as in: "I'm bored, I think I'll go watch Fruits Basket or something..." and the latter being more spiritual: "God, when are You coming back, it's so awful here...and yet...I don't know if You really should return now..." but how one goes about getting rid of these two attacks-I'm not too sure. (One should do well to remember that these are indeed attacks they are demonic in nature, and intend to dishearten the target- in this case, I am the target.)

But...I do know the answer-to getting through these times even if I can't put them into words (earthly speech) I remember, and...I will fight!

I will remember that there is a difference between all the multiples of myself that have been created due to the fractioning power of the world. I will remember that the Earth (while beautiful) is not my home, and that all worldly fun things I experience here are merely passing joys- and that there is more there is truly beautiful things to come.

Because of this, I can be one whole person again. I will continue to seek God, and love my fellow man. I will remember, I will fight- I am overjoyed.

Overjoyed~

...

yeah... *smiles*

"teach these souls to blog~"
*laughs*

Yes. The title of this entry is a parody of a serious work: a painting which bears this name Teach These Souls to Fly. It's a lovely work, which has many layers of meaning.

Anyway, consider this a lesson all you who have no blog and marvel at such things. (That means: Mokuba, Cassandra, Alicia, and all others ^_^ yes, you too!!)

First of all, blogs are easier to maintain than websites.

Mainly because: they are just posts of text made by the author, similar to posting in a forum (but without the whole mess of threads and replies and sometimes spam). For those of you who are non-Internet people, it's similar to e-mail or writing in a journal. Also, you don't even have to update it too regularily- it's much less upkeep than a website is since it is mainly text based, and if you want people to know what is going on with you- it's pretty much simple easy fun.

So, how do I do this you ask?

First of all, there are various places one can get a blog account for free *yay!* and as you can see, I have a free one on Angelfire (which I like very much- it has awesome options, but I'll discuss that later on in the future...) Practically, what you need to do is to choose one (hang out with me in Angelfire!!) then make an account (make sure it's free- if you don't want to pay or don't have money like me of course) and start your blog.

During this process, you will want to make sure of everything. Some accounts you can recieve will also give you the added option of having some free web space for a website: you do not have to make use of it though.<--remember that! You should make sure that you have read through the FAQ's throughly and also to make sure that you know exactly what it is that you are doing. (Kind of like having an account in a forum, eh Mokuba-kun? ^_^ *smiles*)

...and that is how you start. For now, you can consider this as lesson One in an ongoing series.

^.^ have fun everyone!!

****
Next Lesson: Interacting with other people's blogs (and no, it's not scary at all o.0 ...)
****

Martyrdom is fun!!
...yes (it can be at times, if one really loves God and wants to do His will and keeps a highly positive spin on things) yet it really is quite painful in several ways. (Actually, it isn't much fun...)

-sigh- I will explain.

Today, I have gone through many mortifications. I was deprived of my normal routine of daily living due to the fact that more members of my family were home-I didn't mind that, but then I was harshly summoned outside for a complete car washing overhaul.

The said event was okay, it's just that my father tends to be quite harsh-so he kept berating me and my little brother as we took care of the cars. I didn't mind the mortification-yes, it hurt but I remember that I did ask the Lord to make me humble and I will thank Him for answering my prayers.

I will increase in holiness, even if people are cruel- I pray that others will as well.

Anyways, that's not the half of it, but my brother needs to use the computer so- that's right, I'll sacrifice this time of mine...

^_^;; see ya!! Pray for me and my family!~~

****
EDIT: -sigh- It would appear that my little brother didn't exactly need to use the family PC for some high and noble purpose- I guess he just wanted to look at stuff and not do his project. So, I wonder- did I really do the right thing by letting him get online or not?

...

Please pray for him: he's my little brother of course, and I love him- but it's hard on me. (Which is good in a way- since learning how to love the unloveable is a good and holy Christian trait even though it is HARD to cultivate) Help me to love him more and to pray for him as well.

Now for him, it would be a good idea if you pray that he has the virtues of zeal, gentleness, and humility- this would help him to become refined and make him a truly excellent human being. (By the way, I could also use some prayer concerning those things as well...yeah, I'm not a fully fleged saint yet ^^;; )

Thank you. ^_^

Ya~sashii koto~u...
I'm seeing wonderful things as my life goes on. ^^ One of which is the sweet and delicate development of my friend's character- he's become so much more... ah~ human now. It's quite lovely.

Granted, the changes are quite subtle (they're really not overt at all-some wouldn't notice unless they were looking really hard) but they are there!!

*cheers*

Lord, I love it!!

(to everyone: ah~ don't you just love it when the author alludes to something and doesn't tell you all the details? -at least, I hope you do... o.o <-me is weird~ ^.^;;; )

I can see Mary in earthly mothers
...besides my whole dilemna of missing Confession by a few seconds every week or so, I've had other experiences today too.

^_^ Happily, this was a good one.

You see, early this morning- I had went to a friend's house to fufill a promise I had made the night before: to deliver his birthday present a day early, and to come when he was least expecting it. And...I did!! *wai~ Wai~!* heh. It seems that God decided to have mercy on silly little me: He caused me to rise early this morning so that I could do as I said (yay!).

Well, I got to my friend's house- right, then I was gently putting the wrapped package down on the bench near the front door when--I screamed!! -.-;; My friend's mom had come to the door- but she greeted me warmly and hugged me anyway. She's so kind- I was able to see Mary in her. That was nice.

*ha ha ha~* I'm so silly, it's just funny.

^_^ (...and that was how I started today.)

****
EDIT: I kinda forgot to put something in here...an~ about mothers in general: they're nice, and through them one can see other aspects of their friends- I can learn lots more about my friends through their parents than they can ever tell me. It's so amazing- I love it!! *daisukii~~!*

-sigh- I...just want to go to confession... *is sad*
...I haven't committed any grave sins or anything like that, it's just that- well~ everytime the opportunity for me to recieve this Sacrament appears- I, I always seem to miss it!! *is sad*

Though my sins are light, I really want to confess them. I want to have the grace the Lord desires to give me- I desire to recieve and He desires to give: -sigh- my condition is so odd...

happy, happy, Happy me: a locked thread ^_^ (random-ish)
scary-ness (MT forums)

that is the linkie to the mistake I made earlier, I am so glad that my friend Charvac finally locked it. (The way he ended the thread is so cute *laughs some more* ...)

...? yes, confusing. Well, pretty much that's just a treat- it has to do with some online friends and forumites, so if you (the reader) is someone I know from the outside world I hope you aren't befuddled anymore. (I am though... 0.o)

oh my...

I feel like running away...
Lord, I'm not one worthy of speaking to you (much less asking silly questions) but, why is it that You have created me to be so timid? Why is it that when I make honest mistakes that I get so flustered and frightened that I want to run away.

...actually, I know that You, my God created me to be brave and strong and that I am not as You desire me to be- it's kind of sad. I have irrational fears, I am human- I don't like it. But, I can trust more in You my Lord and my God because of this frailty of mine. It's so paradoxal- I love and hate this earthly life of mine.

hah ha ha~~ ^^;; how easy it is for me to turn some molehills into mountains *laughs at self*

^_^ everybody, laugh now.

Litany of Humility
(this is a prayer I need to say everyday-at least, so that I may love myself less, and others more...)

LITANY OF HUMILITY
-as accustomed to be said after celebration of Mass, by Merry Cardinal del Val, secretary of state to Pope Saint Pius X
------*

O Jesus, meek and humble of heart,
Hear me.

From the desire of being esteemed,
Deliver me, O Jesus.

From the desire of being loved,
Deliver me, O Jesus.

From the desire of being extolled,
Deliver me, O Jesus.

From the desire of being honored,
Deliver me, O Jesus.

From the desire of being praised,
Deliver me, O Jesus.

From the desire of being preferred to others,
Deliver me, O Jesus.

From the desire of being consulted,
Deliver me, O Jesus.

From the desire of being approved,
Deliver me, O Jesus.

***
From the fear of being humiliated,
Deliver me, O Jesus.

From the fear of being despised,
Deliver me, O Jesus.

From the fear of suffering rebukes,
Deliver me, O Jesus.

From the fear of being calumniated,
Deliver me, O Jesus.

From the fear of being forgotten,
Deliver me, O Jesus.

From the fear of being ridiculed,
Deliver me, O Jesus.

From the fear of being wronged,
Deliver me, O Jesus.

From the fear of being suspected,
Deliver me, O Jesus.

***
That others may be loved more than I,
Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.

That others may be esteemed more than I,
Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.

That, in the opinion of the world,
others may increase and I may decrease,
Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.

That others may be chosen and I set aside,
Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.

That others may be praised and I go unnoticed,
Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.

That others may be preferred to me in everything,
Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.

That others may become holier than I,
provided that I may become as holy as I should,
Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.

Amen!!

(...it's kinda scary how appropriate this prayer is for me today... o_0!! ...)