role strain~
I know God made me to be one person.
I'm learning about who that person God wants me to be. Problem is: this person is one weird girl. (Yes, I openly admit my idiosyncracies ^_^)

Case in point? (Well, there are several but I will use one for illustration purposes)

I want to journal about my life.
I want to journal about Christ.

Which comes first?
Christ of course, but as I write I'm getting all sorts of readers- and this is about me too so...what is it that I write?

o.0 ...this is my own blog and I don't know exactly what to do with it- not good.

Here's my proposed solution: for every silly post I make (God-related or not) I will make another more serious post. That should work, I think...

um, could I get a little help here?

I need prayer.

-sigh- every now and then...
I feel like RAWR-ing. So, due to this wish to speak on such "rawr-y" things (stuff that is somewhat bothersome) I will put up a RAWR note every now and then at the bottom of an entry.

If you don't like RAWR, then don't look at it.
(Personally, I don't like to complain or even mention that something bothers me, but I know that issues do need to be brought up from time to time -sigh-)

Yeah, I guess that the fact that I feel that way at times proves that I'm still human- prone to error, other kinds of foibles, and sin. Yuck.

Lord help us all.

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for the sake of the readers: if you were confused by what I just posted- here's the explanation the Daiko has to give... RAWR is a sound effect, much the same as the traditional "roar" but spelled differently. Actually, "rawr" is the phonetic spelling of "roar"- this is what the word "roar" sounds like in living English.

I tend to RAWR when I am stressed out, and in similarly irritated/tired/weary states.

that's about it- I need to go and help my family do chores now.

^_^ see you later, I hope!

I see the beauty of the saints...
...(too tired to post, almost).

today, ugh~ I think the weight of all my stupidity has caught up with me at last, and...it's so heavy.

Well, not exactly *.*;; ...

Anyhow, despite me and my little problems- today has been beautiful. Why?

Today, the world celebrated the twenty-fifth anniversary of Pope John Paul II- I listened to the ceremony myself and... to hear a man that weak in body, struggling to give the Mass and to continue on to serve his fellow men, it made me very tearful.

I mean, after listening to that and knowing who my spiritual father is- that he suffers greatly every day, that just makes my sufferings look like nothing in comparison. I realize my life is not yet truly holy. I have too much pride and fear. I am so young...

I've got a long ways to go still; yet, the good thing is, there are lots of wonderful things still to come, and marvelous companions who are guiding me, not to mention that the Lord of the Universe Himself is my very best friend.

-sigh- All is well. (-even though, I feel the opposite way...)

hn, I think I'll have another Naruto-related post some time in the near future- what do you say? hn? ... *^_^* ~Daiko now is a bit happier~ yay!

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NOTE: lately, Angelfire's been REALLY buggy: it's been having log in problems, posting problems, and so forth. Not good: RAWR!!

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EDIT: I have noticed something very disturbing in several of Angelfire's hosted journals/blogs- it appears that in many of them, one cannot leave a comment- I would like to know why...I think I will go take action and possibly, e-mail them, soon. -sigh- This could earn them yet another "RAWR" from me if this keeps up...

quiz!!
(...because, I'm really tired...ugh~)


Which Naruto Character are You?
quiz by orangeday.net

(Anyhow, I know that I can identify with Naruto-kun, but this much?! o.0;;; ...oh my.)

^_^...go take the quiz!! (I want to see who you are!)

misguided zeal, and other painful things
In my zeal to reach out to others I have been wounded. Still, wounds and scars are fine as long as the heart beneath is pure and whole. And thank God that I know the one who patches up all broken things. -sigh-

I wonder, God how exactly is it that you love someone as stupid as me? (I know that whenever I fall you always pick me up, even if it's my own fault that I fell in the first place...-sigh-) ...I see, you love me for who I am, even though I'm not yet the girl you want me to be. I want to be perfect, I don't want to make mistakes, I hate my humanity- but, but this is the gift you have given to me. This gift enables me to have compassion, to understand pain, to remember what suffering feels like- if I can be hurt, I can be healed. I can help to heal.

So, you put me to the test so that I may grow and so that I may win against the enemy. I fight so that I will continue to be yours and only yours. I love when I am hurt: the deeper the pain, the deeper my level of love and compassion.

Thank you God. I am human.

(It hurts so much though *cries*)

...please, I beg of you forgive me...forgive me for my sins, the follies I have committed...

I will stand and fight for my one and only true friend, my God and so I will suffer. Lord, please grant me the grace to bear my pains well- to sing and to bless, not to run and hide.

I love you Lord, and I love the people on this Earth.

I'm out of words...
Oddly enough there's someone else out there who feels the same way...

It's not as if I mean to add on to what someone else is saying but, yes that is similar to how I feel too- still, there is a difference. In describing things, language can fall short- it's not that language itself is faulty, just that it is quite limited. Seriously, if one stops to think, it's really amazing that people can communicate with each other and be understood at all- miraculous even. ^_^

Actally, we're limited by what we know. Since we don't know everything completely, we can't describe things as fully as we wish to at times.

This is the difference between earthly (or worldly) speech, and Heavenly speech.

So, we who dwell on Earth are stuck. ^_^ Still, there are ways to get around the boundaries and reach to boundless realms, but one has to be creative and innovative- and that's hard... ^^;;;

Could someone help me out here?

...well, there is prayer of course... ^_~

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EDIT: for the link in this entry, you should go down past the comic and the status bar and see what Piro had to say about this subject himself- and yes, it is interesting that we both had something to say...

and that blue bar is actually some text, how you read it- you should try to find out~ ^_^

(comment anyone?)

overload (and irritations...)
-tend to make one Daiko very weary. -.-;; ...

Yeah, today has been a strange mix: I've been up, down, and all over- emotional rollercoaster~

-sigh- So, what was it that taxed me so much? Well...

irritations:
at home, the family PC decides to be rebellious and not work for some unknown reason. I did not know that so I tried to go online and tend to some things and I couldn't- even after tweaking things and trying out different stuff for at least an hour- actually, it was at least two hours -.-;; that event made me feel like pulling out my hair, but God helped me to perservere (thank You Lord! ^_^); after that, I still had to take care of lunch and I hadn't cooked any food (due to the whole evil computer incident) so that meal was pretty much leftovers- it wasn't too good- I felt horrible... -sigh-

overload:
pretty much due to various irritations (some of which are not mentioned above ^^;; ...) and due to unfinished buisiness of mine, as in the fact that I hadn't done various things (i.e.: cook) -and so forth

*whew!!*

But...I'm not done yet.

^_^ Although, all those things happened I was still given the grace to have raised spirits- and not be concerned with much. ah~ I feel so much better.

For today, today was another lesson in surrender. I had a "refresher course" on how to give up everything to God.

God is amazing- He spoke to me, reminding me that He wanted everything I had to offer Him; actually, that all creation belongs to Him-even sufferings, even misery. So, I gave it to Him.

...and that's about it (time for Daiko to go to class, ^_~ but I'll post again soon~)

multiplicity~ (straining in battle)
...lately, I've been having this "atmosphere" about myself that I call: earthly weariness. -sigh- It's something like this: when I feel almost apathetic and tired of everything, when I have no relief from anything (save from God) -and, it's suffering for me.

I don't know, I mean- I know that feeling this way is an integral part of the human experience. I know that is similar to ennui (boredom). I know there is a distinct difference between the two, with the former being more secular as in: "I'm bored, I think I'll go watch Fruits Basket or something..." and the latter being more spiritual: "God, when are You coming back, it's so awful here...and yet...I don't know if You really should return now..." but how one goes about getting rid of these two attacks-I'm not too sure. (One should do well to remember that these are indeed attacks they are demonic in nature, and intend to dishearten the target- in this case, I am the target.)

But...I do know the answer-to getting through these times even if I can't put them into words (earthly speech) I remember, and...I will fight!

I will remember that there is a difference between all the multiples of myself that have been created due to the fractioning power of the world. I will remember that the Earth (while beautiful) is not my home, and that all worldly fun things I experience here are merely passing joys- and that there is more there is truly beautiful things to come.

Because of this, I can be one whole person again. I will continue to seek God, and love my fellow man. I will remember, I will fight- I am overjoyed.

Overjoyed~

...

yeah... *smiles*

"teach these souls to blog~"
*laughs*

Yes. The title of this entry is a parody of a serious work: a painting which bears this name Teach These Souls to Fly. It's a lovely work, which has many layers of meaning.

Anyway, consider this a lesson all you who have no blog and marvel at such things. (That means: Mokuba, Cassandra, Alicia, and all others ^_^ yes, you too!!)

First of all, blogs are easier to maintain than websites.

Mainly because: they are just posts of text made by the author, similar to posting in a forum (but without the whole mess of threads and replies and sometimes spam). For those of you who are non-Internet people, it's similar to e-mail or writing in a journal. Also, you don't even have to update it too regularily- it's much less upkeep than a website is since it is mainly text based, and if you want people to know what is going on with you- it's pretty much simple easy fun.

So, how do I do this you ask?

First of all, there are various places one can get a blog account for free *yay!* and as you can see, I have a free one on Angelfire (which I like very much- it has awesome options, but I'll discuss that later on in the future...) Practically, what you need to do is to choose one (hang out with me in Angelfire!!) then make an account (make sure it's free- if you don't want to pay or don't have money like me of course) and start your blog.

During this process, you will want to make sure of everything. Some accounts you can recieve will also give you the added option of having some free web space for a website: you do not have to make use of it though.<--remember that! You should make sure that you have read through the FAQ's throughly and also to make sure that you know exactly what it is that you are doing. (Kind of like having an account in a forum, eh Mokuba-kun? ^_^ *smiles*)

...and that is how you start. For now, you can consider this as lesson One in an ongoing series.

^.^ have fun everyone!!

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Next Lesson: Interacting with other people's blogs (and no, it's not scary at all o.0 ...)
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Martyrdom is fun!!
...yes (it can be at times, if one really loves God and wants to do His will and keeps a highly positive spin on things) yet it really is quite painful in several ways. (Actually, it isn't much fun...)

-sigh- I will explain.

Today, I have gone through many mortifications. I was deprived of my normal routine of daily living due to the fact that more members of my family were home-I didn't mind that, but then I was harshly summoned outside for a complete car washing overhaul.

The said event was okay, it's just that my father tends to be quite harsh-so he kept berating me and my little brother as we took care of the cars. I didn't mind the mortification-yes, it hurt but I remember that I did ask the Lord to make me humble and I will thank Him for answering my prayers.

I will increase in holiness, even if people are cruel- I pray that others will as well.

Anyways, that's not the half of it, but my brother needs to use the computer so- that's right, I'll sacrifice this time of mine...

^_^;; see ya!! Pray for me and my family!~~

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EDIT: -sigh- It would appear that my little brother didn't exactly need to use the family PC for some high and noble purpose- I guess he just wanted to look at stuff and not do his project. So, I wonder- did I really do the right thing by letting him get online or not?

...

Please pray for him: he's my little brother of course, and I love him- but it's hard on me. (Which is good in a way- since learning how to love the unloveable is a good and holy Christian trait even though it is HARD to cultivate) Help me to love him more and to pray for him as well.

Now for him, it would be a good idea if you pray that he has the virtues of zeal, gentleness, and humility- this would help him to become refined and make him a truly excellent human being. (By the way, I could also use some prayer concerning those things as well...yeah, I'm not a fully fleged saint yet ^^;; )

Thank you. ^_^