let me explain...
(Daiko/Dinah here, yes I know that my last entry was weird... and that I haven't been able to post for awhile; -sigh- this should explain- I hope. ^^;;)

urrgh...

Yesterday, I spent the day at home
mainly because I was studying for yet another
Anatomy and Physiology Lab exam.

This time, we focused on the muscles
and...as usual, it was one HARD test.

I feel so drained.

I'm going to post more later, right now recovery
(from taking that monster of an exam)

...

pray for me.

out of time!!
arrgh! this is it.

*blink*
(I'm not interested in this series, but I do enjoy taking online quizzes [as I've said before] ^_^)


Which Hellsing character are you?

this is the description that came with my result:
You're Seras, the novice vampire and policewoman. You have been underestimated all your life and seem to be constantly proving yourself to others. Although inner conflicts leave you anxious and confused, you have the strength to overcome them. You are often looked upon as a much-needed figure of sweetness and normalcy in dark atmospheres.

o.0??? this seems okay...
[except for the whole vampire thing, since I am human. Human, human, hu~uman. ^_^)

the stars are lovely
(though human beings are far more precious...)

I like looking at the sky.

I enjoy days that have bright sunshine with fluffy white clouds against a clear cerulean sky.

I see the sky during the day most of the time
and I usually miss seeing the night sky
which I don't really like...

Anyhow, maybe this year I will finally see a meteor shower. (Yes, I can't ever recall seeing one before, I am sad. Yes, indeed.)

Possibly, you can see it too!!
I hope we all do...

-enough of this rambling, here's the info so you can see it yourself.

Happy stargazing everyone.

^_^

interruption
(I am taking a little time to talk about a webcomic called: RPG World; yes, I know it's odd- Daiko is using her blog to let the online community in general know her opinion. Very strange...) ^^;

Well, I have some time before class,
I thought to myself

I think I'll go look at webcomics, maybe Megatokyo? No, I went there yesterday and I don't want to get trapped in the forums...

I'll go check out RPG World then. ^_^
Daiko then proceeded to do so and was innocently trying to catch up with the days she hadn't read the comic when she saw this: Diane trying to explain love to Hero

;_; ... [<-- that was and is my reaction somewhat]

Not that it's sad (actually, it IS- especially if your favorite character is Cherry) it's just...

[I don't have any words that would fully express how I feel] poor Cherry!!

*cries with Cherry*

Noooooo~~!

...

****
EDIT: actually, I feel exactly like Cherry does in the last panel of this page.

*cries some more*

yesterday's musings
(I wrote this after I had one of the hardest days of living I'd had in a long while...
also, before I had all these trials I suffered through, I'd had several others in the days preceeding this one.)

[written: 10:30p.m. -ish Monday-November 11, 2003]

It has been said that life is suffering.

While that phrase is somewhat Buddist in origin, it is still true.

Life is suffering.

The thing is, that people aren't always aware of this
especially me.

I have the all too human flaw that keeps me focused on the wrong thing:
myself.

I keep feeling and thinking that the most important thing is my own happiness
when that is the farthest thing from the truth.

Happiness is not a sin.
I am quite aware of that; it is not everything though.

The fact is, I can't rely on happiness to get me through this life

I need something stronger
something more solid
something less selfish

-happiness is fleeting, it's a good feeling
but it's not a constant in life

I need something that is.
Constant.

-I already have it, but my pride gets in the way
all the time.

Whenever I think of only myself: how sad I am, how bad I feel, how I wish someone would magically make me feel better...

there's more to life than that.

I have a family, and a life filled with people.
People who have souls that also have unmet needs.
People who hurt just as I do.
People looking for the peace and joy I tend to repress.

I need to share it, that's what I was put on Earth for.

My joy is not happiness in things that will pass away.
It is endless (when I'm not repressing it)

My peace is not something that occurs when everything is "okay"
it continues on, even in chaotic times.

I know the Christ.
I know the Lord of the Universe.

I know that if all the world were to turn against me
and if I were to have all living creatures hate me
I could bear it
for I know something sweeter
I know something more beautiful and real
moreso than anything this broken world has to offer.

I know who I am.
I know I am weak.

Yet, I know I can be strong.
I know I'm not invincible
but I know the One who is.

I have all that I need.

[-as God would have it, the readings for today's Mass really convicted me of this today. Interesting, isn't it? ^_^ ...]

------
NOTE: this is also taken verbatim from yesterday, much like the entry below it- only this one occured first [in the series]

from last night...
(NOTE: this is verbatim, some typed thoughts [on Notepad] from last night...)

*****
[unmet ego needs]

Jesus, today:

I'm tired and irritated Lord
my family doesn't understand me
my friends are out of reach and out of touch

I've been irritated by many things...
by my skin- it's been so itchy I've scratched it 'till it bled

I've disgusted myself
with behaviors that are unappealing and unattractive

I've been reviled and ridiculed by my own beloved brother
I've been misunderstood and percieved things incorrectly

I didn't get to do everything I wanted to do
I didn't do everything I've been asked to do
I didn't do it all...

and yet, compared to You and what You've been through
does it matter?

Not really.

You've had all my aches, pains, sorrows, and irritations before
and You handled them much better than me.

You made sure I had chances a plenty for change and renewal.

So, it is not I who should be complaining
rather You're the one who really deserves it
but You don't do it...You don't complain.

And You won't whine.

Help me so that I won't either.
No matter what happens.

Promise me You'll teach me, okay?
Because all I want Father,
all I need is to be like You
exactly.

Help, help us please...

-Amen.

quickie
Well, I really need to do more important things; but I'm a sucker for cute quizzes...


You're Himeno.


Which woman of Pretear are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

... ^_^;;

pray for me.

no abuse please
okay, I don't want anyone to be mislead by the title:

I am posting this due to the fact that I don't like seeing things abused online.
Exactly what do I mean by that?

Well, I say that there are some things people should learn like:

do not abuse tagboards
do not abuse blogs...
that sort of thing.

Actually, I'm going to see about making a page on my site committed to stopping the abuse of said items.

Now, it is time for this Daiko to go home
for it is quite late.

Hugs and kisses everyone
(the pure kind of course) ^_^

...

I'm not going to give up!
It's late, I'm tired and melancholy- but I'm not giving into despair.

and this is why:
(this is a transcription from my journal to God)

Thank You God for our liberation.

I am happy to know that I shall not remain in this world forever- nor be terminated when my earthly life ends. I am thankful that I shall remain myself, that my soul and my will shall remanin distinct and be fully sanctified in eternity. That after time has ended, entropy and temporal suffering will be totally concluded and reality in its true form will come to pass. No more shadows, darkness, forgetfulness, anger, hatred, cruelty, ignorance, not vice will remain.

Sweet Heaven, I long for that...

I know I have all I need.
(Internet access is highly over-rated.) ^_^

Pray for me everyone,
I will pray for you.