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a saint in training: my life on Earth
Tuesday, December 30, 2003
break the silence
then burn away darkness with firey zealand remember all the good things that have passed and that are yet to come the promises given for a vibrant future of renewal and kind regards of friends and peoples of passing beauties and lasting joys I celebrate these and the other blessings that God has given me, especially in the gift of my readers heh. I find it to be a very kind act that people who have not known me in the physical world actually feel something for me here and pray for me. That these same people take time out of their lives to read my entries, to care and to pray. Lord, I am thankful this in itself is a great present I have had such a rich Christmas because I've been given so much and been through the darkness which makes the light even sweeter and all the more beautiful having bad times reveals how wonderful things are when times are good- it makes me grateful, and clarifies my vision as to what is best. Thank you. **** NOTE: Yes, I am quite aware that this is an odd way to post (and no, I don't post like this that often) but I needed to get through my writers block, and these thoughts [are the ones that really] jumped out [at me]. ^_^;;
Saturday, December 27, 2003
Kabigon: a movie you can take your kids to see!!
these are the quiz results that my younger brother ( the Kabigon) got. ![](http://www.readingforresults.com/rating/g.jpg) My life is rated G. What is your life rated?[Kabi, remember to put this up on your site later.] **** EDIT: Kabi helped me to change the title of this entry to be more gramatically accurate. originally it was: Kabigon: a wonderful movie you can take your kids to go see!! the "go" wasn't necessary, it was quite awkward as well. ^^; (also, I just love the way that my blog acts up at times [/sarcasm])
Friday, December 26, 2003
Observed silence
during the passage of High Holy Days... or so I wish that was what I had been doing for two days. Actually, I had been away doing things during the Christ Mass and the day after the 25th of December. -sigh- So much activity, and yet I did so little, I don't like that feeling too well. I had wanted to post a little something before I attended Midnight Mass on Christmas eve; and here it is: Christmas is (not about)
hurt feelings and being angry with others (no matter how much they "deserve it")
and being upset and frustrated (with the way that people do things or with missed opportunities or anger at things not done well)
Christmas is Christ Mass.
It is about Jesus.
The one who even while he was dying slowly and painfully the one who was able to look down from the cross while steeped deeply in his own pain and say, "Father, forgive them for they know not what they do."
Humanity says Be angry, you've got every right to be!!
-but God says otherwise.
If I can put down my hurt feelings, pardon those who have incensed me, give mercy and be merciful despite what I feel
then, and only then will I be more like Jesus
and that is the best person that I should ever resemble.
Merry Christ Mass everyone even if you're not understood and don't feel loved and seem as if you have no hope
-it's not true.
Merry Christ Mass.
I'm praying for you~
Thankfully, most of the troubles that I went through during that time were resolved nicely- and for that, I am ever so grateful to God. -sigh- ...somehow, I can return to my regular blogging habits; still, I will do my best to live my life well first. I pray that you've all had a wonderful Christ Mass day, and I will keep praying thoughout the rest of this year... pray for me~ **** EDIT: -sigh- Well, as I've said before, this blog just doesn't seem to like certain types of HTML and will start acting "funny" at times- please do not let this bother you too much. Thank you.
Tuesday, December 23, 2003
...and all is somewhat darkened.
-at least with regards to some things, as in zeal. -sigh- ...I can't believe that it's almost Christ Mass- actually, that's not totally true, I guess it's just that I'm not "prepared"/"ready"? [I don't even know what word to use to describe what it is that I am going through this season...ugh.] Anyways, I do love this time of year but things are different now- I do my best to keep a light, child-like heart and...still, my heart is heavy with the wondering about things. I've been too inactive and quiet for so long now. Lord, I pray that I will get better as will my friends (I am hoping that you will be well iamchosen... I do understand apathy and what it feels like to not be hungry for the Word of God- you can get through it.) I really don't know what to say... but I said something anyway. hn. interesting. praying for you~
Monday, December 22, 2003
that hiatus was too long
and quite unexpected. Sorry everyone, I didn't mean to leave you all without any word from me for three days- I found myself unable to blog, though I wasn't unwilling. Last Thursday, I had gone to see The Return of the King with some good friends of mine from my high school days. It was pretty fun, we'd all dressed up- we were cos-playing as Middle-Earthians; Alicia and Stephanie both wore elven ears and Cassandra and I were ladies of Rohan. I enjoyed the experience very much. ^_^ Oh yeah, and the Sunday before that I had gone to see Jars of Clay and Cademon's Call in concert. (I had considered scanning my ticket stubs from all my events and putting the images online for all to see- but that plan didn't turn out too good. ^^;) -sigh- In all, I've had quite a few adventures lately. Yes, I was quite busy- and since it's so close to Christ Mass, I've been to parties...and I've still got a few that I should be R.S.V.P.-ing to right now. ...Daiko tired (somewhat). 's all for now. pray for me, I'm praying for you!
Wednesday, December 17, 2003
late, late stuff~
I think after all these years of wandering around the internet with nothing good for stimulation, that I have finally found a place that I can call "home"update-y: I've taken out the other tagboard which had served me well in holding prayer requests unfortunately, I didn't get many during the board's duration- retrostats couldn't keep up the free service and it is now closed. I really would like to take out the old orange tagboard that I have in my blog's profile since it is now non-functional, but that doesn't seem to be possible- I have put up with this problem for so long now; hoping that it would be fixed in time...I think I've waited too long. I'm seriously considering moving to another place and deleting my blog here. That saddens and gladdens me when I think of it- yes, I'm strange: I have thoughts that should not exist with each other going on at the same time in unison. ugh. Still, I know that my friend Bod-kun probably would be cheered if I implimented this plan of mine; maybe that would be good...? I am still having problems with the layout of my website- all I want is a nice green sidebar...is that too much to ask? -sigh- tables...I have yet to master this art in the HTML-style... As to my "forum-selves": -sigh- I think that I am no longer welcome at the Relient K board, and maybe that's a good thing- I sure made a fool of myself over there, I had been naive and tried to do something that I thought would be good and ...heroic. *winces* I'm sorry. -this is good, I guess that I live in exile of that land I still LOVE Relient K though, and nothing (short of an act of God) will stop me from doing so!!MegaTokyo? -the forums have changed. I feel it in the posts, I see it in the threads the sigs reveal that this place is no longer friendly to people such as myself
I must leave... *goes down to the sea to sail away to the Un-dying lands in an elven-crafted vessel*Actually, I still like MT- just not the eechi-ness of the recent formite activity. -sigh- I wonder if all this makes sense? I wonder what actions I should take? I wonder...
Oh...wow.
this is what that strange song means?interesting. Remembering You-a story about a girl who forgets who she is and who it is that she loves (still not finished) of course, keep in mind that these are NOT my creations- I just think that they're great and want to share them with the world.
Daiko: a wonderful movie fit for viewing by all!
![](http://www.readingforresults.com/rating/g.jpg) My life is rated G. What is your life rated?
Actually, this test isn't correct [with regards to my strict standards of course] granted, it does check the behaviors of one's life, but there are other things which also make life intense- as in: one's thoughts, experiences, frustrations that sort of thing. I don't know, I don't think that my life fits in any pre-specified category...but I am really a G-rated person!! ^_^ (arrgh! -I don't understand this, but sometimes after I post results to tests I've taken the blog font gets messed up! -Daiko not like.) **** EDIT: tried fixing this entry up again so that it will look the way that I want it to- used a little bit of HTML coding in the process.
Tuesday, December 16, 2003
I Celebrate the Day
a song by Relient K from their recent Christmas album And with this Christmas wish is missed the point I could convey
If only I could find the words to say to let You know how much You?ve touched my life
Because here is where You?re finding me in the exact same place as New Year?s eve
And from a lack of my persistency We?re less than half as close as I want to be
chorus And the first time that You opened Your eyes did You realize that You would be my Savior?
With the first breath that left Your lips did You know that it would change this world forever?
second verse And so this Christmas I?ll compare the things I felt in prior years
To what this midnight made so clear that You have come to meet me here
*sound of sleigh bells*
**To look back and think that this baby would one day save me
In the hope that what You did that you were born so I might really live
[sing ** again]
And I I celebrate the day that You were born to die
So I could one day pray for You to save my life
pray for You to save my life pray for You to save...my life~ lyrics found here: http://www.letssingit.com/ (under Relient K) -I have corrected them somewhat, and I will see about revising the lyrics there as I am registered at that place. NOTE: this still doesn't seem a totally accurate rendering of this song as to what I have heard played on the radio... -I decided to post this song since I needed to remember Christ Mass, and how wonderful it truly is though my heart is heavy with regret and other things... pray for me please.
'tis the season of my ill unrest...
-I am tired...apathetic almost. It's been rough on me for several days (actually weeks) this month. I know that it is Advent, and I am waiting (almost impatiently) for the Christ child, but it isn't a joyful time for me. I'm tired of my courses, and I wish that things had gone better- I didn't do well in my A&P lab class, and I don't know what it is that I am going to do now. I hope that my father will be more merciful to me...I'm not sure that he will though. I wonder, what it is that I should do (and should have done earlier) and where it is that I should go. I am suffering though I am not in physical pain, my mind is wearied and I am not able to understand and appreciate this beautiful world that lies before me. -sigh- Even the fact that The Return of the King will be playing tommorow in theaters in my area- even this wonderful thing does not cheer me. I don't like this...
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