There were many things I wanted for my first column when I sat down to write this week. I’d hoped to make a snaky reply to being introduced as a “well-known liberal,” before defining myself. I thought about taking on the notion of the Fair Tax, considering the most recent decision made by the Supreme Court, discussing a notion of compassion I feel is missing from daily life, or even tossing my two cents into the pot of this years Presidential election. I still may write some or all of those columns in the future. Recent events have forced me to write about something else.

I came home from a lecture by Lama Rimpoche Friday evening to discover the sad news of Tim Russert’s death. Now, days later, I’m still bothered by this. It’s hard for me to really know why this is.

Maybe I’m so bothered because for the portion of my life that I’ve been politically aware Meet the Press with Russert acting as moderator has been a staple of my Sunday television viewing schedule. You may like him or hate him, agree or disagree with him, but it goes without saying that Tim Russert filled a role at NBC and that the network will be hard pressed to find an adequate replacement. This isn’t the source of my disturbance though, as interesting as it might be to try and prdict who the next moderator will be, I have no vested interest in the program as anything more than a member of the audience.

Russert did much to shape press coverage and stories every week. My next thought is that not having his insight troubles me. But, I disagreed with Russert as often as I agreed with him. And, while Russert was known as a tough interviewer, often I found myself wishing he had pressed his subject just a little harder, pushed to get his questions answered just a little more firmly. Even though Tim Russert was very good at his job I think there are other personalities in Washington capable of performing these tasks.

Ultimately, I think it is Russert’s joy that I will miss most. The sense of wonder that he brought every day. That a “boy from Buffalo,” as he often called himself, could interview Presidents and members of Congress. I like to think of myself as just a boy from Michigan. One who is perhaps capable, like Russert was, of someday rising to prominence. In the end it is not the loss of a journalist that saddens me. I lost a role model.